Wednesday, 4 May 2016

Heavy

I've found myself lately thinking that I wish I could hate people.

Specifically... Max.

It's fairly exhausting to be angry or feel anger or dislike towards someone and then hear yourself telling yourself to give them the benefit of the doubt.  To then defend them.  To feel and think and consider both sides of a person is, at least right now, very very tiring.

It feels like it would be easier if I could just hate him.  If I could just flat out say he was this, or that or he gone done me wrong and I put him from my life completely, ick, horror, bad!

But I can't.

And it makes me tired.

So I feel like things might be a whole lot easier if I could just stop seeing the good in people.

Especially those who've hurt me or who seem to hate me for their own, not necessarily understood reasons.

4 Comments:

Blogger Jason Langlois said...

Hating them would also be tiring.

If there was some way to just not care anymore, one way or the other ... maybe that'd be the solution. If it was, I wish we could both use it.

Wednesday, May 04, 2016 8:44:00 am  
Anonymous Elliott said...

I've always believed the opposite of loving someone or caring deeply is not hating or despising but rather indifference or not caring. Hatred means that they are still inside you causing internal chaos (well maybe issues) while indifference means they are no longer inside you and that weight can be lifted.

Wednesday, May 04, 2016 2:37:00 pm  
Blogger kandijay said...

Not being able to hate isn't a bad thing. It might feel like it is, but Jason is right -- hatred is exhausting.

Thursday, May 05, 2016 8:08:00 am  
Blogger Victoria said...

Fair enough Jason. I wish for genuine neutrality and not caring then.

Indifference, yes please, that, Elliott!

I suppose so Kandi...

Thursday, May 05, 2016 10:37:00 pm  

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