Wednesday, 8 April 2020
Not All That Different....
If I sit and think on it, of course I miss things. Jason and I have been hanging out fairly regularly (I know, I didn't really tell you but I was going to get around to it... no it's not a "dating" thing.) so that's a change. And I'm not going for sushi with C-Dawg any time soon but she and I still talk/text the same and she did a drive by book/cookie drop off the other week so I have technically *seen* her!
Do I miss people? Of course. But I'm ok right now. I've been watching people talk about it online and I am aware that some are going stir crazy and some are desperately missing connection or get togethers or whatever their social gatherings were but because I've been home and unwell for a while now (anxiety y'all, not a virus thing) I've lost most of those.... things. And is there an irony to this all happening just as I was feeling like starting to get back into things? Of COURSE there is, but I mourned that a few weeks back when we first went into "stay home" and I was terribly upset. For now, things are not all that terrifically or terribly different. I still live alone. I do not have a romantic partner to miss, like I know many are/do. No, I don't have someone here for company but I haven't since I moved here. (With the exceptions of when whoever maybe stayed/lived here for a while)
I do miss the freedom of things though, and I mentioned to Jason the other day that right now when I go out for a walk I'm sad that I miss dogs. Because I don't let myself get close enough to their human to pet the dog or let it sniff my hand as I pass it by which is something I used to do. So I suppose I miss the freedom of closeness, even though I wasn't walking around hugging everyone, you know?