Like In The Movies

You know how in some sci-fi future type movies they have these medical devices that you lie on and they scan you and tell you all the things that are medically wrong?  Yeah, I feel like I'd like access to one of those. 

And I mean I know that the reality of it is I would probably not *actually* like to know all the things that are "wrong" in my body.... I have a feeling it would make me crazy to know, but I mean it would be nice to know what's going on with SOME of the things, you know?

Like, for example, all of Saturday and some of Friday, my foot hurt.  Or my feet hurt kind of?  Like my left sole hurt but more strangely, the top of my right foot, near the big toe hurt.  And I had and still have no idea why.

I hadn't dropped anything of it, it wasn't feeling or looking bruised.  I hadn't worn weird new shoes.  I hadn't gone on a massive hike, nothing that I could point to to explain the pain.  It just... hurt.  AND I HAVE NO IDEA WHY!!!

So if I could step into that machine and have it say "oh, this is actually because you didn't stretch after your walk to that appointment on Wednesday and that made your shin tight and then because you stood for half an hour on Thursday that made the shin worse and so what you actually felt was the ligament/tendon pulling on the toe and so you need to rest it and ice it and massage your shin".  Cuz if I knew that then I'd be like OOOOOH ok, I will stretch more next time, cool!

Or when I have the sniffles, the machine could tell me "this is because you haven't dusted in a week and the dust is irritating your sinuses" or "you have a cold, take Vitamin C" like certain things would be helpful to know rather than my guessing and attempting to help myself feel better and be healthier with wild blindfolded pin the tail on the donkey attempts.

And in my imagination, this magic machine tells me things like "you are putting on weight because of X Y and Z so if you P, Q, R, you will stop putting on weight" and maybe that machine tells me even more helpful things and I find out just how healthy I am and how healthy I can be and I feel a whole lot better in a whole lot of ways.

My toe feels better now, thankfully, but I have no idea why and no idea how to make sure that weirdness doesn't happen again.  I needs me my magic scanner, y'all!