NO THANK YOU!

A couple of weeks ago, I woke up and had a triangle of red "marks" on my cheek.

My initial/first thought was "those are pimples from wearing my mask more again" but my second thought was "those might be bug bites?"

Which... is not a nice thought.

And then I googled.  "Triangle bug bites?" And?  Well.  That google did not go well.  Because the type of bug that bites in a triangle pattern is a mother frugging bed bug.  Oh my frigging god no.  Fuck fuck fuck.

I put lotion on the marks/bites/pimples/whatever they were and then stripped down my bed (which I was going to do laundry that day anyway but now FOR SURE I was going to).  I put my pillows in the window to air out and did my best to inspect my mattress for signs.

I didn't see any, but I was really really freaked out.

Flipped the mattress.  Aired everything out.  Washed ALL the things.  Kept trying to make the marks on my cheek go away.

I hoped they were flea bites.  Or mosquito.  Hell at this point I'd even be ok with spider bites.  Just not bed bugs.

I cringed going to bed that night.  But when I woke up in the morning the triangle of marks was gone and I found no other marks anywhere on my body and so I'm going to go back to my initial assumption that they were like blocked sweat glands due to.... I don't know, humidity or hormones or my mask or even a dirty pillow case? 

But yeah, no signs of bed bugs.  No new bites.  The marks went away.  I think I'm ok and free of bedbugs?  But yeah, no idea why my body decided I needed a triangle mark of bumps.  DID NOT LIKE!

(Oh and a few weeks later I was looking at bedding (for winter) and saw a mattress protector that claimed to keep bedbugs away and I wanted to be like "so the bedbugs know to stay on the other side of the mattress and not cross the barrier?  Sounds like magic!"  Like I'm not sure of the logic or purpose of this thing.  It keeps them off so they don't get to your mattress in the first place?  Or you put it on once you've had bed bugs to keep them contained?  Or it's just a marketing gimmick to make people buy it so they feel more secure?)