Minor Changes Are Still Changes

Today is the second social thing I've been invited to and chosen not to go to, and I only feel a little terrible.  Which is progress!

The one thing was family and I felt pretty lousy all week leading up to it (anxiety wise) and so I chose not to go and I felt a fair amount of guilt but also some relief not to have put myself through it, plus I found out after other people attended that I wasn't aware of and that would have set me off for sure.

The second is a friend thing and was another sort of last minute invite (the family one was the day before, this was a couple of days before).  I don't really feel like going, I'm not sure why. I could probably make myself go, and maybe I should? but I, as of right now am not going.  I feel a little crap about that, and a little guilty but I'm not losing my sh*t over it.  And that's progress.

Maybe it would be "better" for me to attend things, but I can also argue that it's "better" for me to lie low when I feel like lying low.  I know it's Summer and all that, but something about this Summer is giving me "Christmas time" vibes like I feel so much pressure to DO THE THINGS and SEE THE PEOPLE and it's stressing me out, even ignoring Covid stuff.

So the point of this post is to remind myself that not only is it ok to do things or not do things but it's great to not stress and stress over whatever decision is made.  A small amount of stress is great compared to HUGE AWFUL MASSIVE ONGOING stress over stuff, you know?

So, yeah, I don't feel great about not going to things, but I am proud of the smaller amount of anxiety I'm feeling about it.  (If that makes sense outside of my head.)