Maybe I feel like I'm always going through internal change, or trying to. And with change being "the only constant" and all that stuff.... I mean, is it then just normal for humans to be trying to constantly change themselves for the better? Because it doesn't seem so from the outside.
Like, I feel like I'm often saying to Jason (the person I talk the most to about this big/heavy stuff) "I'm going through a lot right now" or feeling like I have to let him know I'm struggling and pushing myself to adapt to things differently. But I say that ALL THE TIME, or so it feels.
But maybe that's just me.
I don't want to feel so awful all the time, so I'm trying to adjust the ways I think and feel and the habits I have and/or the neural pathways I have. Am I fighting an uphill battle? Perhaps. But I don't like how things are and it's either wallow stuck in this, or try to change.
In other "way over my head" things, I was thinking about the idea of "energy", in terms of the, like, the energy someone gives off.
And I was bouncing these ideas around with Jason (again, see above) and saying how some people have an energy I don't like to be around and other people have an energy I feel calm and comfortable around (think... vibe?) and then how some people are kind of neutral but then they're stressed and THAT stress sort of gives off an energy and so we were having this big sort of philosophical conversation and he said that whole "energy can not be created or destroyed" thing and now I'm like, wait, no I didn't mean physics/science energy I meant... uh... human... uh... feelings? Oh man... now I don't know how to quantify what I meant and my brain is broken from the thinking and I'm sure people have written about these thoughts but I'm not sure I have the smarts to read and understand what they might have to say!
3 comments:
I know what you mean about "energy" (or the vibe) people put out.
For me the "energy" is more along introvert/extrovert lines. Being a die-hard introvert, other introverts help me a lot while hard-care extroverts exhaust me...like they just pull any energy I might have right out of my soul. People with both tendencies (which is odd in my brain) are the "neutral" energy folks in my world.
There is a really good comic-type discussion that really resonates with me. It's call something along the line of "hamster ball". If you haven't read it/seen it, it's worth a read.
Yeah, I don't know if everyone else does though Jason!?
Will take a look at "hamster ball" E... and yeah, extroverts can be exhausting for sure. And I love people that you can be around and it's all just... calm. (Introverted I suppose)
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