Friday, 12 July 2024

Empathy Mixed With ?

More often than I'd like, there are people who don't live in my building in our building's back parking area, which I can see from my windows.

The other night as I was going to bed, I heard the tell tale sounds of a non resident and looked out to someone in one of the empty parking spots.  Sigh.

When I notice someone, I try to keep an eye on them as we've had cars broken in to (including mine), but the times I've engaged with them (shouting at them to please leave) I get really stressed out and so I've stopped trying to do that unless it seems they're actively going to do a break in.

Sometimes I've called the non emergency line but often they're too busy to take a call and/or by the time police are free to come by the person has already left.  

So I just kept an eye on this guy.

At some point he must have used whatever drug he used as he kind of did that passing out sleep not really moving thing and I wondered if I should call 911 for an overdose but I really don't have any experience with that so I just kept watching.  It wasn't too long after that he started moving again and then rearranged his belongings and eventually left.

I texted a few people that this was going on (for my own moral support really) and at least one of them was like "call the cops".

But... I didn't.

I suppose I often attempt to put myself in someone else's shoes and I can't imagine what it's like to crave or need or want or be addicted to or hooked on a substance and then to have to find somewhere to use that substance.  Seems likely that this person doesn't have a stable residence and so found himself a quiet spot (he assumed) to have his hit/fix.

I don't feel like this is a happy way to live and what's my calling police on him really going to do?  If we assume they show up while he's still there, does it help anyone?  Maybe, MAYBE it lets this person know that my building is not a great place to use and maybe for that fact alone I "should" have called but I guess I sort of felt badly for him.  

I was frustrated and anxious and maybe a little scared and I just wanted to go to bed and attempt to sleep (not having much luck with that with the heat and all) and I didn't want to have to be on alert for someone possibly breaking in to cars or passing out or sleeping or overdosing or anything, so I was annoyed at the situation happening, but I also didn't think me calling police would do much.  Other than stress me out more.  (I called them once ages ago and when they arrived they called me back and so now I'm always extra wary knowing that might happen too.)

I wish people didn't use illicit drugs.  I can't change that.  I wish there was safe versions for all.  I can't change that.  I wish they didn't come to my home area to use.  I can't really change that to be honest.

I feel for all the folks who live a life I would not want to live.  And I suppose I try to show some empathy and give them some grace for what I imagine is a less than ideal situation.

I'm also grateful that the person who parks in that spot didn't come home until about 10 minutes after the fellow left because I don't know how anyone, the guy or a neighbour would have reacted to running in to each other.  I hope to never have to find out myself.  

Sigh.

I wish I could change the unchangeable.  You know?

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