A Funny Thing Happened On The Way To The Forum

My lazy, relaxing weekend also saw me re-signing up for that dating site I tried way back when.

I figured I had nothing to lose and time on my hands so I signed back up and re-took the lengthy questionnaire.

Interestingly enough, my answers and responses have changed, perhaps significantly since two years ago and I noticed immediately that the gentlemen I was getting matched with were much different, and more to my taste than last time. (I don't remember if I talked about it before but the fellows this site matched me up with last time were really, very much not my type. Maybe it was just bad timing, or maybe I've changed a lot since then, who knows.)

Sometime Sunday, my second "batch" of matches came in and then there was the awesomest thing: I *knew* one of them!

Not only did I know him, but we'd gotten along great and I was so excited to see that the site had actually matched me with someone I know is a good, decent, fun person.

I emailed him right away to say hi and it turns out he still has my number in his phone and we might hang out next week.

I'd never thought of him romantically before, partly because I don't think I was looking at the time we met (we hung out together in a group of friends, it was never a one on one thing) and then he had a girlfriend I think it's about that time I met Smith, and, well, we don't share a skin tone and I think I would have been scared to even consider dating him back then, fear of the unknown as a good excuse to not do something and all.

I know I'm different. . . better. . .more healed than I was two years ago, hell, I'm happier and healthier than I was when I started this blog in so many ways, and I think seeing us "matched" made me realize that I've been unknowingly closed off to a lot of people without realizing.

I think I can look back and see that I was keeping people, men, at a distance. I wanted a relationship but I didn't. I wanted to be close and intimate but I didn't.

Long distance relationships are awesome for this. You're in them but you're not.

They're intense and passionate, then they're lonely.

I also have changed in how I'm willing to present myself on these sites. Before, I wouldn't put up a picture, wouldn't tell anyone my real name, went by my initial. Now I'm not as frightened somehow, maybe I'm more trusting?

But I digress. It was really great to see that this is the type of guy that does exist on a site like this. And it's great to think that we might hang out. And it's great to think that I might even be open to seeing if it is or could be anything more than a friendship. And it's even greater that if it's not? I don't mind.

I just like the idea of having someone to hang out with and maybe, just maybe (what did I ask for?) get some "wanted, positive, giggle-inducing, happy-making, possibly the start of a good relationship male attention in my life."

I guess seeing this guy on the site gives me hope that there are other good guys on there and maybe one of them will end up being . . . you know. Mine.