Thursday, 10 February 2011

Followup


I went ahead and contacted the guys I hadn't heard from and I'm somewhere between baffled and nonplussed by their responses.

I must say after this last little while, I appreciate the message I got from the first guy I went out with greatly. He had the manners to be upfront and let me know he wasn't interested and his reasons and I appreciated that even if it was still a rejection.

Runner Guy, he who I re-connected with after ages and ages, has fallen off the face of the earth again and I'm just going to let that one go. I mean if there had been a big draw for him the first time we met he'd have pursued it further then, or now, so I'm going to go ahead and say that that one just isn't meant to be.

Other Guy I Hadn't Met Yet, but had been chatting to, I sent a friendly "hey, hope all is well" message to and got an email back from him saying I'd made it pretty clear I wasn't interested in meeting him. That was an interesting one because yes, absolutely, I'd been scared to meet him and the couple of first places and times he suggested we meet I wasn't comfortable with and he'd said he was totally understanding that I was nervous so we were going to make a weekend coffee date when he stopped contacting me. I told him that I hadn't meant to show disinterest, but rather it had been a combination of nerves and general business and that if he did want to meet I was up for it.

And I haven't heard back from him so I guess I'll let that one go too. Which is a bit of a bummer since we didn't even get a chance to connect in person and see if there was potential. But, what can you do?

New Guy I Haven't Told You About Yet and I have tried to meet a couple of times but he's been away most weekends and that's really when I'm free to meet dates for the first time. So I haven't heard from him in a while which is fine because he's super into some amazing sports that I would be a complete beginner in and I kind of feel like he deserves a girl who's just as awesome in those sports.

And Second Guy I went on a coffee date with I just haven't heard from. I sent him a friendly message and got a friendly one back and, well, that was the last of it.

I guess this is how this whole on line dating thing goes and maybe even how regular dating plays out but still, it's a bit of a downer to have things just kind of fizzle out, especially when they didn't even really start yet.

I can get really down about it on the days when I search around the dating site and find. . . well, let's just say there are days when I despair greatly and other days when I question the sanity of a lot of people. So sometimes it's disappointing that a seemingly good guy has fallen through my gasp.

And I know you all will say oh if it's meant to be it will be and most days I believe that, but on the days when I don't believe that? Well, let's hope there aren't too many more of those days in my future.

Or yours, if you be single and looking for that matter.

But yeah, I'm trying to not play the "there must be something wrong with me" game and instead, play the "man, are they ever missing out" game.

So. Man, are these guys ever missing out! They SO should have messaged me back and met me.

(If I say it enough I'll start to believe it, right?)

6 Comments:

Blogger Just Sayin... said...

I can not wait for the death of onnline dating. It's a game for most now. Divide and conquer. That's it.

No one's truly interested in "dating" anymore, it's just about the numbers. (for men anyways)

I've deleted my POF account cos I always end up dissappointed with those who do contact me, and those I choose to contact. Not to mention the crazies who actually think they have a chance.

Good luck.

Thursday, February 10, 2011 8:55:00 am  
Anonymous Duffy said...

Ohwell, sound like typical guys to me. There will be one that things just click with, keep going! You're doing really well :)

Thursday, February 10, 2011 10:05:00 am  
Blogger Kas said...

Man, are these guys ever missing out! They SO should have messaged me back and met me.

Man, are these guys ever missing out! They SO should have messaged me back and met me.

Man, are these guys ever missing out! They SO should have messaged me back and met me.

<>

Thursday, February 10, 2011 2:13:00 pm  
Blogger Victoria said...

Yeah JS, it's certainly an experience. . .

Thanks Duffy ;)

Rinse and repeat eh Kas? :)

Thursday, February 10, 2011 4:27:00 pm  
Anonymous Claus said...

Apologies but I can't help but use this metaphor:

"It's really hard to hit the ball out of the park if you never step up to the plate and take a swing."

Online dating, from the sounds of it, doesn't seem all that different than the "normal/regular" variety. We all get rejected and it's tough going no matter which side of the gender fence you are sitting on.

Keep your chin up and just have fun.

Sounds like "other guy you hadn't met yet" was going through the same insecurities dance as you trying to guess at the signals being put out. :shrugs:

".. he deserves a girl who's just as awesome in those sports." No offence but... Really? 1. He may enjoy teaching you how to play/participate or even have some of your own so that you aren't on top of each other 24/7. A healthy relationship is more than just hanging out together. It's being able to be apart and being yourself doing your own thing... Your partner shouldn't "complete" you but you should "complement" each other. You are an individual, as is he; you can have individual interests.

I talk/write too much - Sry :(

No advice here, go with your feelings but phrases like the one quote in the earlier paragraph are just self defeating.

Thursday, February 10, 2011 4:32:00 pm  
Blogger Victoria said...

Don't apologize Claus, opinions are always welcome :)

You're right, rejection is never fun no matter what and is part of it all I guess. I'm trying to have fun, but sometimes it gets tough.

And, yeah, maybe it is self defeating to say that I don't think I was as good for that guy as someone else was, but until he wants to date me I'll never know! ;)

Thursday, February 10, 2011 8:23:00 pm  

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