Friday, 12 August 2011


You probably haven't noticed it because you're not me, but I usually wait a bit before I tell you about meeting someone.

I guess I usually like to give it some breathing space to see which way it's going to go. I mean, there's no point in telling you "I had a date today!" when by the time the post is half a day old, I might have gotten a message letting me know there wouldn't be a second date.

Plus, sometimes I already have other things ready to post and while I may write about something the day it happens, it might not get posted for a few days. And sometimes I just want to keep something to myself for a bit, mull it over, before putting it out there.

I also usually don't tell too many people when I've met someone from online because, generally things haven't worked out for me and I try to stay cautiously optimistic and wait and see.

But there was something about meeting this guy and how well it had gone and was going that made me want to shout it to the world!

Well, ok, maybe not the world, but I certainly wanted to tell you about it and it was so ironically wonderful that the fact that all my spare evening time was with *him* that I didn't have the time to tell you about him.

I mentioned him to a couple of friends too, just casually. And, unusually, I mentioned it to my folks. I guess I wanted to share my happy with them since they're still in a long haul of recovery right now.

So while I was away, a colleague asked me to show them his profile and so I logged on to the site and showed her.

And I noticed that he'd added a few more photos to his profile and my heart sunk.

My heart sunk because there's still that part of me that's insecure. And we all know that that insecure part likes to rear its ugly head whenever it can.

So my thought was "Damnit, he says he likes me, but he must be still looking for other girls."

And I tried to logic it through. I mean, we'd hung out a few times, been on three dates, met four days ago, what did I expect? Normal people date a few people at a time until they're ready to be exclusive, don't they?

But the twinkle had gone out of my eyes. I was scared that my fears of letting myself get too excited for something that wasn't going to last were coming true.

I emailed C-Dawg, she's a few months into a relationship with a guy she met online and I know she went through some insecurities at the start. "He's putting up new pictures! Why?" I babbled. And she told me to just ask him.

So I did. And he assured me that I was the only person he was interested in and that it was still early but that he'd be happy to take the pictures back down if I wanted him to.

I thanked him for his reassurance and told him that it was his call, but you guys? I was already starting to feel a little bit anxious. So I was really looking forward to seeing him again before our week apart and looking him in the eyes and knowing that we both wanted to build some trust with each other.


Anonymous Anonymous said...

It will be ok. He said he'd take him down and that's a good thing...

just breathe- it'll be ok.


Friday, August 12, 2011 12:34:00 pm  
Blogger Singlicious said...

I think it's great that you were able to be direct with him and ask what was up. And that's awesome that he offered to take the pictures down. That's a step beyond just trying to reassure you. He obviously cares about your feelings; he could have just said that it's early and he's still looking around, which of course he has a right to do (as do you). My one word of caution is that I'd try to avoid getting too anxious/pinning him down too much at this stage. That's never gone well for me, at least. :-/ He sounds great, though, and it sounds like overall it's gone amazingly smoothly so far. Looking forward to hearing more!


Friday, August 12, 2011 1:56:00 pm  
Anonymous Single Girl said...

I am soooooo excited for you!!! This is great news. I don't know about you, but sometimes I worry that I won't ever be capable of getting that excited/butterfly feeling about someone ever's nice to know it's still there. AND - it's great encouragement for people like myself, who seem to have an eerily similar track record of dating experiences as you do :)

Just enjoy and don't overthink it! You are FABULOUS and deserving of someone who pays attention to you like he does! It's just hard to recognize when you're not used to it :)

Look forward to hearing the updates!

Friday, August 12, 2011 2:29:00 pm  
Blogger Victoria said...

Thanks Kas :)

Totally Singlicious.

I hear ya SG ;)

Friday, August 12, 2011 4:53:00 pm  
Anonymous Claus said...

I know this is late (by a week) but am catching up.

Just a quick thought. You are over analyzing this (in my humble opinion) him putting pictures up after only three encounters should be nothing to be worried about but it is good that you are able to ask him and he can be adult about it. this, btw, is the correct approach.

Just a thought though... did he ask you what you were doing surfing a dating site after being out with him three times? Should he be nervous? .... ;)

Thursday, August 18, 2011 4:21:00 pm  
Blogger Victoria said...

I'm totally over analyzing this and everything Claus... for sure ;)

Thursday, August 18, 2011 5:47:00 pm  

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