Tuesday, 31 October 2017

Thirty First

Happy Whatever This Day Means To You!

Be safe and happy whatever you do/believe/celebrate.

Monday, 30 October 2017

"There is no dark side of the moon really. Matter of fact it's all dark."

I'm the kind of ok you put in quotation marks, so please excuse me for a few days.

In other news, the end of October has been stunningly beautiful weather wise around here!

Friday, 27 October 2017


There was an absolutely GIANT moth in my place last night.

Like.  GIANT!

I mean, not as giant as some of the ones they get in other parts of the world (size of a plate type thing) but still... this is one of the biggest moths I've ever seen.

And I keep wondering how it got in!

I mean, I know my bug screens aren't tightly fitted... there are gaps, and yes, things get through those gaps but I feel like this moth was even too big for them!  Or it must have taken some really crazy maneuvering to get itself through the spaces.

Which begs the question... why?

Was it an accidental sort of thing or did it try really hard to get closer to... whatever... light?  Heat?  Food smell?  (I don't know, I'm making stuff up.)

I escorted it back outside with a glass and stiff piece of paper but man oh man that thing was big and it was terrifying as it was flapping about inside the glass.  CLINK CLINK CLINK.


Thursday, 26 October 2017


I don't want to say anything outloud or anything.... and I don't want to jinx anything but...

*looks around*


I think I might be over the worst of this cold?

*says loudly*... SO, HOW ABOUT THAT WEATHER EH?


Wednesday, 25 October 2017

Ok, Look

I know we've been through this before, but it's dark now at 6:30 or so.  Why do we have to move it up even earlier?

Can't we just... not?  Please?

Pretty pretty please???

Tuesday, 24 October 2017


Miserable with cold.
Plus not sleeping.
Plus brain not functioning.
This is no fun.

Monday, 23 October 2017


So everyone around me has been getting sick with this nasty cold.

I've felt like I was walking around in a bubble as everyone around me dropped like flies.

And then... I made the mistake of thinking I'd avoided getting it.

I stayed up too late a night or two, didn't sleep well... and bam.

It got me.

I'm trying to tell myself it didn't get me as badly as it seems to have knocked everyone else out but I'm hesitant to say that lest I jinx myself yet again.

So, yeah.  I caught that cold.

Am bummed.  Was hoping I'd avoided it.

Plus it's making me grumpy.

Boo.  Hiss.


Friday, 20 October 2017

Please Love Me?

I think I've talked about Jason's cat.

The cat that isn't his cat but totally is his cat?

Well, in case I haven't... Jason and his roommate have known this cat since he was born (apparently) and he and his brother cat (who looks nothing like him and that I love so so much for reasons) were abandoned by their owners when they moved.

As in, the owners moved and left the cats.

Because I don't know and didn't actually know Jason at all at the time, I can't say how accurate this is but that's where we start.

So this cat was, when I met him, bascially a feral cat.  Lives who knows how, outdoors.  Hated people, tough, mean tom cat.

Over the years, and since I met Jason and cat, cat started to get a bit ... not friendlier, but at least mildly tolerant of Jason, and after a time, myself.  He loved the backyard, and seemed to make it his territory.  And then Jason started feeding him.  Or leaving food out for him.  And well, now they're buddies.

The cat now loves Jason.  And I like to think me too.  I certainly love him.  He'll tolerate pets when he wants them and maybe, just maybe to be picked up for a second or two, but no more than that.

I had to laugh the other day because I suddenly felt like a stereotypical teenager with an unrequited crush.

There I was, chasing after the cat, begging, just BEGGING for him to let me pet him.  PLEASE, I just wanna LOVE YOU!!!!

He stopped.  Looked at me.  I approached.  He walked away.


It's my understanding that this is how cats are.  And it is extra special when he does come running over for attention and love.  But it still struck me as funny.  I've never been one of those love-struck-teenagers who pined over someone and ran after them begging for their attention.  But apparently I am now... with a cat.

Little bugger.

(But seriously.  I JUST WANNA LOVE HIM!!!!!)

(And no, I'm not a cat person, and I can't have one in my place anyway.  And the idea of an animal pooping in a box in my house is nasty to me anyway)

Thursday, 19 October 2017

It's Been A Pleasure Doing Business With You, Mr Downie

Pausing for a moment to say that I am broken-hearted that Gord Downie, the lead singer of The Tragically Hip... a band that was the soundtrack to my (and so many other Canadians') life has died.

There's an immense pain and sadness and the words and tributes that came out yesterday were bittersweet.

I had the Hip on shuffle all day yesterday.

Jason had me over and we played some songs extra loud on his really good stereo.

We all got the chance to say goodbye to him already.

This doesn't make it hurt any less.

Gord inspires me for so many reasons.  He was authentic.  He could write.  He was a wordsmith.  He was so... real.

And he reminded us that Canada needs to change for the better.  To pay attention to all of us.

When I left on my trip last year, I taped a sign in the back window of my van... "In Gord We Trust."  

Honestly, I was holding out for a miracle.  And I've been told that the amount of time we got with him post diagnosis was a miracle.  But I selfishly wanted more.

Not just for me.  For Canada.  For his family.  His children.  His bandmates.  For all of us. 

My words are inadequate.  Gord's never were.

Wednesday, 18 October 2017

The Echo Chamber

Sound carries, yes?

But I think not everyone is aware of this.  Or maybe doesn't notice.  Or something.  But nevertheless.  It carries.

I live on the back-side of my building.  (As in... the front of the building faces the road we're on, street address wise, and I'm at at the back of the building from that.)  So I look out onto our parking area, and the neighbouring building (the side of it.)

There is also, to my left, another (side) of a building... so the back area, where my windows open out to, creates a little bit of a sound... echo chamber.  Or maybe "echo" isn't the right word.  It's an amplification.... thing.  Like... I can hear you talking on the porch of the other building.  Or I can hear the conversation you have on your cell phone by your parked car.

Or... in this case... I can hear the.... very loud... exclamations of pleasure that one of my neighbours puts out when, er... when her boyfriend is... visiting.  (Ahem)

Y'all?  My neighbour is very.  Very.  Loud.

And I'm not sure she knows.  She lives on the opposite end of the echo chamber so may not have the same sound resonance I do. 

Or, let's be honest, she may just not care.

But dude.  It's woken me from sleep.  Really.

She is incredibly loud.  And vocal.  And... it's not short lived either.  I suppose he's.. maybe... you know, very... um... good at.. the things that make her... scream so?  But... still.

So yeah.  My neighbour is really loud during sex and I don't think there's anyone in this, or the surrounding two buildings who hasn't/doesn't hear her.

And I don't have the heart to tell her.  (I'm 95% sure I know which neighbour it is too...)

And to make it ... even more.. ridiculous?  The other morning, she was... you know, doing her thing and as the pitch and volume increased, it melded PERFECTLY into a seagull's raucous screeching.

Which had me laughing at who knows what o'clock in the morning. My neighbour's sex screams set off a seagull.

Yep.  *That* is what my very happy neighbour sounds like in bed.

The end!

Tuesday, 17 October 2017


A year or so ago, Jason and I were driving somewhere to hike and take some photos and he said my car sounded funny.

I have to admit that previous to this, I hadn't paid much attention to my car and how it sounded.  In part, because what would I do if I noticed a weird noise anyway?  And in part because I keep it serviced regularly. 

But, Jason seems to know vehicles and so we pulled into a gas station and he had me check my oil.

I may have written about this before, but, here's where I admit how little I knew about cars and things.

I thought when you took your oil in for an oil change they just poured out the dirty oil and put in new clean oil and that this was good for... whatever reason, but it was just something that was done.  It is ever so slightly embarassing to admit that I don't think I realized that your car used up oil over time.  Um.  Yeah.

So, my car was overdue for an oil change/service but I didn't figure it was a big deal.  Jason had me check my oil and it was low.  Not dangerously low but... well, low.  Not awesome low.

"When did you last check your oil?"

Uh... I don't check my oil?  I just take it in for service?

"Ok" he said, "that has to change."  And we bought more oil and filled up my oil... thing (reservoir?) and I made sure I kept up on my service/oil changes from then on.

But... I also put a reminder on my calendar (computer calendar... it's where everything lives!) for the 15th of the month.  The reminder says "check oil, backup computer, backup blog"  and more recently also says "check tire pressure, review first aid."

Jason was somewhat amazed that I didn't do these things regularly.  I've never checked my tire pressure... I just figure they top them up when I get my service done.  My blog and computer I back up regularly... but usually "when I remember."  Which, has left me in somewhat precarious positions when said computer got sick and I couldn't remember when I did my last backup.

So now, on the 15th, the reminder pops up.  The last few times it's been no big deal.  But last month... my car was feeling sluggish.  I checked the tire pressure.  My tires were all a couple of pounds low.  Doesn't seem like a big deal but I asked Jason and he told me to go fill them up.

Which I did.  And there was a learning curve on that (which I thought I'd written about but a quick search of the blog says I haven't, d'oh) but once I got them up to proper pressure, I swear my car was perkier.  Yep.  Perkier.  I could feel a more responsive car...feeling just from a few extra pounds of air pressure!  (And apparently it'll make my car that much more fuel efficient and that much safer.  Ok!)

Then this month (this weekend) I was checking my oil and it was low.  About halfway.  Again, not bad, but crazy how that happened in a month's time.  So... I popped in a half... uh.. quart?  Litre.  I dunno... bottle thing.  And then I went to check my tire pressure, but my gauge (what a weird word) was low battery so that'll have to wait til I get a new one.  (I tried to replace the battery but it's one of those "just throw it out" kind of cheap ones which is incredibly frustrating... the thing was soldered shut and I don't have the skills to deal with that... although I did try.  I hate just throwing things out.  Will take it to a place to be properly recycled at least.  Sigh.)

So then I went to backup my blog.  (Done) And then backup my computer.

Buzzz...... uzzzzzz. uzzzzzz.

That's the noise of the external hard drive working but not being recognized by my computer.


So yeah, those things just... up and die apparently.

Jason's going to see if he can salvage the info (I've been doing Time Machine backups) and I've ordered a new (better) drive and hopefully my computer doesn't die before it arrives.  Sigh.

But... I guess I'm just sort of saying... it's good to check these things regularly.  (It also makes me feel proud that I've learned how.)  It's not great that my external drive died.  It's not great that my car was kind of low on oil or that my tires were a little low on air, but I found out.  Nothing BAD bad happened.  I... maintained.... did maintenance.  I've got a new drive/disk on order which is way better than my computer dying and me going to access my old backups and finding out that drive had died.

It's that whole pro-active thing I guess.  And I'm glad Jason told me and I'm glad I have my monthly reminder now.

Now I just have to get better at reviewing my first aid!  (It's less easy to do than checking oil or tire pressure... le sigh)

Monday, 16 October 2017


This is a uniquely Canadian post, but... I'm kinda bummed about the whole Sears going under thing.

I'll first go back to growing up on the mainland and the Woodwards store in Vancouver going under.  Yeah, the big giant rotating W and everything.  That was... strange. 

And I'm not terribly surprised, I suppose, about Sears.  I haven't really done any clothes shopping there in a long long while  But, to be fair, I haven't done a lot of clothes shopping at all in a while so....

I guess there's still the Bay for now.  For, you know, undies and socks, but Sears has just... always been around.  I'm sad they won't be anymore.

We also lost our Safeways around here.  I didn't follow that story too closely to see if it was an Island thing or a West Coast thing or a Canada thing but... where are we all spending our money?

Is it going to the "big box" stores like Walmart?  Or online with Amazon and the like?  Did we move away from catalogues only to move back to a catalogue-like ordering system online?

Which makes me think back to Christmas when whoever (was it Sears?) would send our their big catalogue.  And in later years, it came with a pull out toy only section.  I would go through that thing and circle the things I wanted Santa to bring.  I somehow figured he'd either be watching or would pop down and read it or something.  Not that it was a fool-proof method.  I never did get that Easy Bake oven after all.  And the catalogues never had ponies or puppies.  But hey... it was worth a shot, right?  I mean, Santa doesn't bring EVERYTHING you want.  (Still kind of mad about that Easy Bake though.)

So yeah... Sears is... done.  And at least one of the local malls here is going to have to find a new "flagship" (or whatever the term is) store.  People here are salivating for an IKEA.  Y'all?  We're not getting an IKEA.  And if we were, it's not going in *that* mall.  (They're standalone stores for pete's sake.)

I don't know why this one is striking me as sadder than some of the other closures.  Money is weird.  Retail is weird.  I wonder what all the people will do who have had a career in that store (those stores.)

The times they are a-changing?

Saturday, 14 October 2017

Not February

Heat (and hot water) went off again the other night.

Wasn't a huge deal for me as I'd already showered and, well, it's not February.

There are mixed blessings to renting.  I mean, I don't have to pay to get the whoever to come out and figure out the heating.  But I also have to wait on the manager person to call.

But as I say, wasn't a huge deal... but if it happens again in the cold snap like it did last Winter.  Well, that was not quite so easy to deal with.

Sigh.  Winter's coming... and not in a GoT kind of way.

Friday, 13 October 2017


I imagine I'll maybe talk a bit more at some point about not going to Burning Man this year... the good, the bad, the confusing...  But I'm a little bit all over the place here and when I find (make?) time to sit down and write, it's not always on my mind.

Sometimes I get existential Blog angst.  Why bother?  Why?  And I just want to hit the delete all button.

But... I don't.  Or at least so far I haven't.

Blogs aren't the thing they were ten years ago.  I know I don't read many (any?) anymore most days.  Part of that is my (far too excessive) internet time is spent elsewhere.  Part of that is my lack of attention span at the moment.  Part of that is other poeple's (curated) lives make me feel like mine is sorely lacking.  And that's in no small part due to me having chosen to not talk about a lot of things. 

A lot.

I hope (I think?) I'm working up to cracking open a little about that.  And then I sort of laugh and wonder why I'm holding myself back when there's really only three of us here reading anymore.  Three... or four.  You know.  You all.

But then I remind myself that doesn't mean my Mom won't read it.  Or my friend, or future ex or who knows.  I am also pretty tired of the noise in my head and blogging used to be a good way to get some of that out.  Until I made it not.  And well... thanks for those of you who are still here. You know?

Thursday, 12 October 2017


Well, I guess it's time to talk about it.

At least a little.

I didn't go to Burning Man this year.

I'm not terribly thrilled about that, nor was it an easy decision to make, but I did write down a bunch of pros and cons on a list and I kept the "Pros of not going" list to share.

So... here are the reasons it was + for me NOT to go...

+  I would get some money back (I was able to sell my ticket, and get my camp dues back... I was going to stay with a big camp this year for the first time.  I lost some in the exchange rate back and forth, but I did at least get some money back and money is very tight for me these days so that was a plus)

+ I would have less stress (especially around the travel portion)

+ I would not have to deal with all the dust

+ I would not have to deal with the heat that I was not well prepared for (and apparently it was one of the hottest years in a long long time... I don't think my body would have handled that all that well this year, especially if I'd been back in a tent...)

+ No sore spots from bike riding.  (I hadn't been on a bike, beyond at the gym for a few, since last August since my bike has been stranded with my van, so I wasn't even able to pre-prepare my bottom and legs and all the rest for the biking.  And even when I have been able to bike pre-August, I still get bike sores.  It's a lot of riding and the dust [see above] causes chafing if you wear shorts or a skirt.  So, none of that.)

+  Choosing not to go would mean I wouldn't have to stress about the state of my gear, van, bike, etc.  And I wasn't prepared to go to Burning Man without my gear in good shape.  So not going meant no more wondering about that.

+ I would not risk getting a UTI.  (Not sure if I've mentioned it before but the playa's alkalinity can wreak havoc on women's urinary tracts and I often come back with things less than joyous "down there"... even though I load up on cranberry.  Not going eliminated that risk entirely)

+ I would not have the September cough I always seem to get when I return.  (Maybe "playa lung", maybe co-incidence... probably all the dust getting stuck in my lungs.)

+ No weird feet thing.  (There's been something the last few years where I return and my toes get weird.  It's not athlete's foot, but it's like my feet don't like being in that environment for a week and then coming back home to damp and socks and shoes... I don't know.  All I know is it only happens post Burning Man)

+ I would have a flush toilet, running water, my own bed, food, a fridge!, as much ice as I wanted from my freezer, oh and did I mention a flush toilet?  for the week.


I didn't keep the Cons of not going list, but it was mainly to do with not seeing people, not seeing things, art, not being there, not being in the dust in that beautiful environment, not going five years in a row, and being disappointed.

As it turns out I think it was a good year to have missed, for a few reasons.  Although I would still have liked to have gone.  Or to have been able to go, I should say.  Because really, I wasn't able to go this year.

And that sucked.

Wednesday, 11 October 2017


I seem to have become some sort of... active Fall denier.

Like, yesterday, it was sunny.  And I decided it was sunny enough that I could wear my sandals.

Yeah, I was somehow THAT person.

And?  I was cold.  Even with my jeans and a warm sweater type thing it kind of wasn't.... sandal weather.

I just don't want to let go!

Sun sets closer to 6:30 every day, and I'm pretty sure that's at least two hours earlier than I'd like it to be.  You know... ever.


Yeah.  I pushed my luck with sandals today.  CUZ IT'S ONLY THE START OF FALL YOU GUYS!!!


Tuesday, 10 October 2017


How was your weekend?

(And how's your tummy?)

Friday, 6 October 2017


Wishing all my Canadian friends a very happy Thanksgiving long weekend.

See you on the flip side!

(By the way, what is the "flip side" anyway?)

Thursday, 5 October 2017

Early Days

Things here lately have reminded me of the early days of this blog.  Now, I at least know a few people are checking in here and there, but back then I was speaking into the void, really never knowing if anyone was or would ever read.

Because I've been through what I imagine is the heyday of blogging, I don't know that I'll ever give up the anonymity and privacy I chose to have since the start and there are still things I'm not comfortable talking about.  I always remember what my friend said when I told him I was starting an anonymous blog... "write knowing that anyone you write about will one day read it."

So while there are times I'd like to use this as a venting spot to rant and rave about situations or people, I try to keep it to things I'd be ok saying to someone's face, or having them read.

Which, really.... might not the world be a better place if we all did that?  Only said behind someone's back what we'd be ok saying to their face?

Wednesday, 4 October 2017


As the seasons (very slowly and awkwardly at times) start to change, I thought I'd try to think of reasons and things to look forward to this Winter as it's often been a hard time of year for me.

So far I've thought of looking forward to mandarin oranges, blankets and hot water bottles (and getting cozy and warm in general), wind storms, the chance of snow, and, um... the, uh, countdown to Spring/Summer?  (Whoops, not that one... erase, erase)

Tuesday, 3 October 2017

Shaking My Head (At Myself)

I'm not yet sure how to put this into words, but lately I've been realizing, I have fairly skewed understanding of others.

Or of myself.

Or both.

Probably both.

It's like I've always assumed/thought/believed everyone was equal to or better than me in terms of ability (not in terms of worth, I think we're all equal in terms of worth, but that's a philosophical debate for another time and place.)  So... if we imagine I'm good at Math (I use this as an example because I've always felt I was weak with math when I was probably not all that weak), I assume everyone else is as good as I am at Math, if not better.  So when I discover people who have a hard time adding two and two I get confused. 

I'm oversimplifying here because I don't yet have the words to put together what I'm trying to say.  I'm just realizing my viewpoint... my understanding of everyone else is wrong.

Like, my basis for travelling through the world as a co-human is incorrect.

Monday, 2 October 2017

Stereotypical Yawning Noise

I was at a conference thing all weekend so I'm too sleepy to make many words.  Or at least words that might make sense.

Still getting confused weather around here.  This weekend (ish) I had a night with just my sheet and then a few days later I put on another blanket. 

There was rain, and then sun and then sun and oh, wind!

And while we're at it, happy October. 
Please don't steal stuff from here, it's not nice. But leave a comment, why don't cha? And drink more water. It's good for you.

P.S. If you think you know me? You probably don't. If you're sure you know me? Pretend you don't. I'll never admit I know what you're talking about anyway.

P.P.S. All this stuff is copyright from then til now (Like, 2006-2018 and then some.) Kay? Kay.