Super Mild Though

I think after years of wondering, I'm going to admit that I think I get mild seasonal allergies.

I know a few people who get pretty nasty allergies so I know that's not what I'm dealing with and for the last few years I was like well, no way I'm reacting to Spring pollen, because so and so is practically dead and so and so can't stop sneezing and so and so looks miserable so I'm probably just fighting off a cold or something.  No biggie.

But the last few years around this time of year, I've noticed that I get kind of a drippy nose.  Not terribly so, but I'm all sniffly.  I figured it was the change of temperature (it'll be warm outside and then cold inside, or it'll rain but I'll be walking so warm, etc.) or something.  And I'd have the occasional sneeze, no big deal.  But then the last year or two, I started getting a cough.  No feeling of being sick with it, no irritation, just a cough.  Just from time to time... hmmm... Then this year I've had some other symptoms that amount to "my mucus membranes are all annoyed, like seriously" and I thought to myself, well maybe it is kind of light a light allergy maybe?

I took an antihistamine at my doctor's recommendation and a lot of things eased up.  I mean, they probably would anyway if it was a cold, but I'm still experimenting to see if it's worth combating an allergy I'm not sure I have.

It's going to sound weird, but I think it's affecting my esophageal lining and making it hard to breathe after eating... doesn't that sound weird?  But, seriously, I'll often eat something and then spend a good few minutes coughing (like a phlegm-y cough, not just a dry one) and the other day I went out for sushi and felt like I couldn't breathe after with the coughing, it was not a nice feeling.  I know this could be acid reflux, but I thought I'd take a look at the possibility of it being a pollen thing before I look into it being a "my entire digestive system is irritated" thing.... because we all know medicine is rarely just an isolated simple fix, eh!

Ten Kay

I was "woken up" yesterday by the cheering for the local 10K run.

I say "woken up" in quotes because it did wake me up but I dozed and half napped through it and before too long it was over and I'd missed it all.

I ran that race a few times, and I should probably put "run" in quotations as well and I think it's not just body discomfort and injuries that lead me to not keep doing it.

As far as I remember, last time I ran it, I was with C-Dawg and we'd both been doing running courses for a while so while we weren't anywhere near fast, we also weren't terribly slow.  And what we found was that in the time period we were (you line up according to your approximate finish time), for the first few kilometers of the race we were dodging people who were either walking or running slower than our pace.  And this, I discovered, is extra draining.  When I think on it, we probably added a lot of extra mileage in those first few K going around people rather than in a straight line.

I bonked pretty hard mid way through the race (a running term for hitting that wall of no longer having any energy) and the last half of it was super long and uncomfortable.

I'm not saying "I don't do the race anymore" for any big reason, it's more me recollecting my last time doing it.

Every time I did do the race, the people cheering and encouraging on the sides of the route always made me cry.  No, really.  I'd get all choked up and emotional at people out there cheering us all on.

This morning it was nice to wake up to those sounds, although it took me a minute to figure out why!  (Some weekends I can't remember in the mornings if it's a Saturday or a Sunday so I was a little confused.)

The other funny thing about that race is that the finishers are crossing the finish line before us slow folks are even at the 2K mark.  That always struck me as funny... I'd get to the 4K mark and be like "many thousands of people are already done!"

Tweee Twooo Wooo

A couple of weeks back I heard a robin sing somewhere past midnight.

Ok, that makes it sound like a bird was singing a song by that name.... I mean, birds don't usually make noise at night but this one was and it was after midnight!

I heard this bird again last night.  I wasn't having a good sleep so it was probably two or so in the morning and there was that robin singing.

I heard it off and on all morning and when I was home again I still heard it (I mean, I'm assuming it's the same bird!)

I googled and there's a suggestion that when birds sing at night it's because it's "too noisy" during the day for them... ugh.

So, yeah, I have a robin near me that is somehow disoriented and thinks the middle of the night is the time of day to flirt... or whatever.

Oh dear.

Some People Are Lame

This weekend I did something I'd never done before, and never really thought or expected to do - I picked up shotgun shells.

Jason and I went for a drive and up a logging road (I think?) that I guess folks use for recreational reasons, including, I discovered, shooting.

We drove past a group of people shooting and I was like "huh, that's not anything I've seen before" and then we got to a spot where we were going to hang out for a while and I got out of the car and saw the ground littered with casings.  (Please excuse me if I have the wrong terminology!)

It was ugly and made me so frustrated.  So I spent some time picking up the shell/casings and felt a whole lot better about things once I'd done it.

I have personal thoughts about shooting as a... thing, but I am so very seriously not ok with anyone leaving any kind of litter no matter what their activity of choice is.  Lame, lame, lame.

Jason said it's one of those things were lame (he didn't use that word but I will be polite) people give a bad name to everyone.

The best part of the story though is that he has a friend who's Dad recycled the casings and that made me feel even better!


(It might not look like much in the photos, but I probably collected upwards of a hundred of these things.  I'm glad they're no longer there.)  Before and After:

You Put The Lime In The Coconut

Ok, I feel like I have to explain the "lime and sea salt" thing!

See, I use this dish soap in a hand pump by my kitchen sink and in the uh... hand held cleaning wand thing?  (Does that make sense?)  Like, I don't use it in my dishwasher, but it's dish soap, so... yeah.  I do use it on dishes and hands and whatever I'm cleaning in the sink.

I use an "earth friendly" brand and I've been using their clementine flavour....ok, not flavour cuz I don't eat it but... you know what I mean... scent for a while. 

I'd been running low and always keep an eye out for when it's on sale and boom, it went on sale!

Now, on the other story line, my acupuncturist sometimes uses essential oils (scented oils?) during a session and a while ago she used one and I loved it and asked what it was and she said it was lime.  So I have a little thing of lime scented oil stuff that I sniff from time to time and it's just a nice scent!

Which is funny because lime juice doesn't do the same thing for me, but anyway...

So when I was going to buy more of this soap I saw the "lime and sea salt" and I thought "OOOOH LIME!  I'd LOVE to smell lime every time I washed something yay!"  And I figured the 'sea salt' portion was for grit.  You know, like some added cleaning power with a bit of salt thrown in there. So I bought it yay, lime!

I transferred it into the hand pump and cleaning wand thing and didn't think much of it.  And, apparently didn't think to give it a sniff as I just assumed (wrongly!) that it would smell like the lime essential oil stuff.

Sigh.

Fast forward to this weekend when I used it for the first time and gah.  GAH!

I mean, I'm sure there are folks who will/would love the scent, it's not awful per say so much as it is a scent I really don't like.

It doesn't smell lime-y and it doesn't smell salt-y it just smells... I don't know, actually.  But I really don't like it and so I will have to go get me some clementine and find someone who wants my not lime and not sea salt soap!

(It's lingering, I tells ya!)

Long Weekend

I had a nice long weekend.

It started with some very difficult stuff, but went on to include some creme eggs, some relaxing, a small backyard fire, and a certain tv show that I cried and cried over.

Yesterday was rainy and my difficult stuff caught up with me and I cried a bit over it all and then took the rest of the day to myself.

I also, she says, attempting to lighten the mood, bought a new to me scent for my kitchen dish soap and it is not not not something I will be keeping!

Let me just say that "lime and sea salt" is not what I thought it would be.

Ahhhh.... Ok

So laptop is back, yay!

But the replacement part as a separate, new issue that will need to be fixed, so I suppose I'll take it BACK in next week and, well.... le sigh.

Maybe it's just a quick fix of jiggling some wires, who knows, but yeah, kind of frustrating.

I mean, a fantastic, "I live a spoiled life" kind of problem to have, for sure. 

If you have a long weekend this weekend, I hope you enjoy it.  If you celebrate or have family time this weekend I hope you enjoy it.  If it's just a weekend for you, I hope you enjoy it! 

Happy long weekend, y'all, may you eat something yummy (I'd say chocolate but that's not everyone's thing!) and have happy days.

A Whole Night's Worth!

Sometimes I'm amazed at how much sleep it feels like I got during the nine minutes between me hitting snooze.

(Like, seriously, I swear I got an hour's worth this morning... in nine minutes!)

Clickitly Click Clack

Computer's going into the shop (again) for.... as long as it takes (because they won't even order the replacement part for the known issue until I drop it off, sigh) and so I do still have my old, unwell, limping along laptop but I may not be able to do much with it....

I can't remember if I mentioned it, but I've been leasing a new laptop since December or so, and this is the second time I will be taking it in for a "known issue" (sigh).  Warranties are great and all, but not having to use them in the first place is greater, no?

No Idea Why!

I have no idea why but I keep waking up in the mornings with like, soft 80s rock (don't know what else to call it?) ballads going through my head!

Today it's that one .... "why don't you staaaaay"... (We've Got Tonight?)

Yesterday it was the Eagles (I forget what but all sad like again).

Is my brain going through a breakup I don't know about?  Send ice cream I guess?

Often

A lot of the time these days I find myself not knowing.

Not knowing what to think.  Or how to think in a way that will be better for me... healthier for me.

I, like everyone else, have no real idea of what the future holds and I'm trying to find a balance between being realistic and being positive.

I often don't know how to handle something upsetting, especially if it involves someone else.

I write this without a specific purpose or intent.  I am gently suggesting to myself that it's ok to write differently... (or not at all.)

I am continuing to actively change.

It is continuing to be difficult.

Sometimes it feels like I don't know anything.  Or that the things I thought I knew I'm not so sure are knowable.

Or something.

And the other night, the skin on my hands looked like that of an "old" woman.

The physical signs of aging are sometimes hard to take.

The mental and emotional signs of aging are often invisible.

I grow, I change, I try, I tire.

I am yet to give up.  I'd rather not.

The coming of Spring does help, no?

That Jiggle

Just remembered that my brother had a water bed and at some point I inherited the water bed and now I can't think if I would still like it or be able to sleep on it and are waterbeds even still a thing?

Waiting...

So this is maybe a weird one, but I had a frustrating and stressful to me "problem" yesterday.

I had the day off (at home) and we got a notice over the weekend that they'd be coming to change our smoke alarm batteries, as they do from time to time (once a year I think?)

The notice said they'd be doing it somewhere between 8:30 and 4:30 so... even though I had the day off and hadn't slept all that soundly the night before I felt obliged to be up at the crack of 8.   And then I spent all morning thinking maybe they were coming so I shouldn't jump in the shower or whatever else.

I think this is probably in large part something I can put down to "anxiety" stuff but it is also a little frustrating to have such a wide range of time when someone MIGHT be showing up.

New And Improved

So a while ago they put in new windows for our building.  We were all a bit sad to hear they were doing this as it's an older building and the windows had that "olden" appeal. 

I was nervous of the new windows going in but y'all?  They are SO AWESOME!!!

It's delightful to hear my neighbours talking to each other about the awesome new windows and we all say the same thing "aren't they wonderful?!"

Because, yes, they are.  They reduce outside noise greatly.  They will, I'm sure, mean better heat protection or whatever the proper term is for it'll be warmer when it's cold and cooler when it's hot.  They lift with the touch of a finger, rather than occasionally needing to be yanked on with all your strength, or not opening at all if overly wet or something (they were wood, and very very thin single paned.)  And, most exciting to me?  They come with build in, fitted bug screens!  EEEEEEE!

I mean, I had bought (and kept) old bug screens but they didn't completely fit and bugs were always getting in.  Maybe bugs will still get in in other ways but damn, these screens are so wonderful!

As if it wasn't enough to suddenly have a window that opens like a breeze, that has bug screen fittted completely perfectly, has double panes and, well, just really really works, I just learned something else wonderful about them this weekend.

So there was a big windstorm Saturday morning and Jason mentioned it to me in a text when I was awake.  "Wow, did you hear that wind?" And I said back to him that no, I hadn't... I guess I'd slept through it?

Which seemed odd to me as I'd actually woken up around 6:30 (to pee!) and then gone back to bed and that's when he said the wind was super noisy so I was wondering how I'd managed to fall so completely back asleep.

And then it hit me. 

The windows didn't rattle!  OMG THE WINDOWS DIDN'T RATTLE!

See, the old windows would rattle when you opened and shut them, but they would also rattle at any wind, most especially strong wind.  I would often have to get up and completely close my windows when a wind storm got strong enough to just make it impossible to sleep through.  I also had a couple of the store bought, ill fitting bug screens that would also rattle so I had thumb tacks positioned to try to stop that rattling on top of the window rattling.  So to have not even noticed a wind storm was something of a miracle!

I'm sure that I will notice wind storms and weather and all sorts of things but what a nice thing to not notice.... lovely to have a super functional modern window... even if it takes away a little bit of character. 

The Stretch

This next few months is my busy birthday month(s)!  I have at least three that I can think of offhand in the next week alone, then at least two next month and then it's birthday AND wedding anniversary season and, well, I will now rant about how expensive store bought cards are these days and how "back in my day" no but really... sorry but my cards are now either hand made or from the dollar store, cheesy as that may be!

Is this a busy time of year for celebrations for you too or is that just my family and friends?

Woah

I just had the most upsetting dream that for all intents and purposes shouldn't have been...

The people in the dream are likely just placeholders for the underlying feelings but they were both people I know.  One, the "cutest guy ever" that was the first person I ever spoke to at Burning Man, and the other my friend that I went to Burning Man with my first year (and had a lot of frustration with.)

So some details are fuzzy but I was driving the cute guy's car (like borrowed?) and we were visiting him at work (bar) and then back to his place after work, and I feel like he and I were totally hitting it off and that some smooching might happen and I was wandering around his place and I think I caught him coming out of the shower (giggle!) and then next thing I knew he and my "friend" were getting into bed together and they said it was just that they are friends who platonically sleep together (as in no sex) but I was devastated because I really thought he and I were going to... you know, smooch and stuff. 

And I was, I guess, showing my disappointment and hurt and she and he were shrugging it off which was somehow worse and then he said that I could always go tidy his car to make it how I like it to be for driving and I know this dream doesn't seem all that upsetting but it was one of those dreams that have that awful feeling attached to it and you wake up so so upset. 

Not sure there's too too much to analyze here but I really do hope I can shake off this feeling because wow, what an awful way to start the day...

The Second

Did we all survive April Fool's Day? 

I'm not sure I can say it's ever been a day I enjoy.  I think my parents probably got me with a prank or two when I was a kid, usually because I forgot what day it was, or didn't know and they'd wake me in the morning with something harmless and then I'd realize it later.  No big deal.  But honestly I don't enjoy pranks or tricks or teasing and the day, as I got older, became quite stressful.  So I'm glad it's, yet again over.  Phew!

I had a nice weekend this weekend.  Got out and about a lot.  It was beautifully sunny and warm but not overly so.  The air is fresh and clean right now and we really are fully into Spring.  Blossoms about, birds doing bird things, all that good stuff.

I saw various awesome animals this weekend.  Some otter-seal-sea lion types, lots of birds including a raptor I can't quite identify that flew RIGHT overhead super low (it was amazing) and my first time seeing elk!

Currently finding the balance between sunscreen and hat and still managed to get too much sun apparently (maybe through the windscreen of the car, no seriously!)

It's the second of April now.  March was good.  Which is weird to say as it had some very difficult moments, but maybe it is just having the longer days and the brighter light that helps things feel a bit easier.  And I don't want to jinx anything by typing this, but getting some sleep in makes a world of difference too.  (Seriously.)

So here's to April and Spring and hopefully a fresh air bonanza these coming months. 

A Polite Reminder

Don't believe anything (much) you read on the internet this morning!

And Happy April.