You know that feeling you get when you're instantly, powerfully, physically attracted to someone? When you look at them and without quite being able to put your finger on it, sometimes, you just have this animalistic
You know... that "rawr
I love it when I get that feeling, and I've always trusted that it meant something good. Maybe that the pheromones
were right, or maybe that the other person was feeling the same way about me.
I don't always act on that "rawr
" feeling. Maybe if I'd been a free-love child in the 70s, I might have gone around making love, not war, but I do take note of the feeling, and more often than not, I'll point out to my girlfriends that that particular guy right there is definitely
not someone I'd kick out of bed.
Case in point: about a year ago, I was introduced to a well known, local musician. He's a talented fellow, ten or so years older than me, and he has the looks about him of a Keith Urban; not quite clean shaven
, rough around the edges, a little bit worn, really not my type.
But man. This guy's a "rawr
" if I ever met one. Big time.
I shook it off the first time I met him, because, really, he's not someone I'd ordinarily be attracted to, and well, he just shouldn't have had that effect on me. I struck it up to the G&Ts and the music and his obvious talent.
When I ran into him again last summer, I knew for certain that he was in that category of people, who for whatever reason, just set off something in my brain. Or, more to the point, set off something *not* in my brain.
Later in the summer, I was sitting around with some girlfriends talking about guys and attraction and all those good, girlfriend-talk things. We started talking about guys we wanted to sleep with, and I brought up this fellow's name. There was a lot of nodding and smiling, and more than a few of my friends admitted that they too found him strangely attractive. We were laughing a lot about this when my friend's Mom joined us at the table. She told us that she'd known this fellow for years and she, too, had felt that he was an unreasonably attractive man.
And then she said something interesting. Something slightly mood killing.
She said that she believes that that "rawr
" feeling is the result of two people with equal neuroses meeting. She said that when you feel that instant, hot heat of attraction you should avoid it because it's something in you recognizing that you've met someone just as messed up as you are. Or, at least, messed up in the same ways that you are.
I'm not sure if this is the case with this musician, seeing as so many of the women I've talked to find him alluring and attractive, but it is something to ponder. Some of my least healthy relationships started with a very strong, very quick, physical attraction.
But, maybe it's all just co-incidence. My most healthy relationships also started out with that instant, intense physical attraction.
I'm a strong believer in chemistry and pheromones
and things that we don't fully understand.
And I'm not worried about meeting someone "as messed up" as I am. I'm quite happy with my state of messed-up-edness
and I think I'm aware enough of my strengths and weaknesses that I could happily find myself in a relationship with someone who had the a similar psyche.
Besides, I'm not about to get into a relationship where there's no "rawr
" at all. I mean, what would be the fun in that?
So, here's a question for you: Is that intense, initial physical attraction something to follow, or something to run away from?