Um, Ok, So, Yeah.

So maybe it's not a great idea writing this, wired as I am on Chai Tea Latte and whatever it is that they put in those to make me all craaaaazy. (Or, at least, crazier than usual, right?) But I've had to give my folks back their loaner computer for a while and am without a computer at home now. Which, like, totally won't do, you know?

I should have known it was bad when I called the computer repair shop yesterday.

Me:"Hi, I have a message to call Bob?"

Front Desk Guy: (very bored voice) "Yeah. OK. And who am I speaking to?"

Me: "It's Victoria"

Front Desk Guy: (very alarmed and alert voice)"Oh! OH! OK, just hang on a second please!"

Me: "uh oh"

Bob the repair guy: " Yeah OK, um listen. It's not what I thought it was (ie. rather cheap easy repair). It's actually this other very bad thing that has to do with your motherboard that means you're going to have to call Apple and deal with them.

Me: "Hang on. I need to put my head between my knees for a minute."

Bob the repair guy: "I totally understand"

See, I am a diehard Apple loyalist. I love em. I've always had them around.

A few years ago as I was graduating from Secret Spy School, I saved up all my pennies (for a long time) and bought myself my very own Apple laptop. It was AWESOME!

Then it broke.

Again and again.

My problem was only initially with the problem, but soon became about the awful way I was treated by Apple Canada's "customer service".

I have never been treated so poorly and let down so completely by a company. It was completely disappointing.

After the fourth time the same (repaired and replaced) component broke down on my iBook, Apple replaced it with a newer one with the promise that nothing bad would ever happen to it, but if it did, they'd "fix it immediately".

I guess I'll see what they have to say when they return my call today.

Or maybe next week seeing as they're located in Toronto and by the time I get off work they're closed and it's the long weekend and well... yeah. I'm not holding my breath.

So, long story short, I'm waiting for Apple Canada's customer relations to redeem themselves; to resore for me my faith and loyalty in the company.

And, I'm waiting to be able to get back on the internet and catch up with y'all and work and all the things that are on my computer that I've since forgotten to do.

Um, like pay my rent. My computer wasn't able to remind me about that. Good thing I remembered this morning, huh?

Alrighty. Posting from flickr so no spell check or nothin! Happy Friday though, eh?

Can

Updated to add: All of the videos I had as part of this post are "no longer available" (which really sucks) so I've removed them.  But they were super cool dances!

A while back, some of y'all (not mentioning any names *coughMcGone* *coughDillingcough*) expressed surprise at the fact that I was admitting to watching So You Think You Can Dance.

Seeing as I feel no need to defend my love of this awesome display of talent, I thought, instead, I'd do my best to explain a little bit about what it is that makes this show so damn good.

I should preface this essay (read: rant) by giving a little bit of history; I grew up dancing. I started as a little girl and grew to love it. I danced for close to fourteen years, was part of a professional touring company, and if it hadn't been for an injury, I would probably have kept on doing it. I was never the very best, but I loved to move and I loved expressing what the music and choreography was trying to say. That being said, I have an appreciation for the skill, talent, work, ability, and fitness level that dancers need. Dance is a beautiful, challenging art form and takes a crapload of hard work to boot.

Dance, is also under-appreciated.

A couple of years ago, my Mom told me to come watch this tv show she'd heard about. It was called So You Think You Can Dance and I imagined some kind of Star Search talent show with embarrassing consequences. I skipped over half a season before her enthusiasm won me over and I watched an episode.

I was blown away.

This show auditioned thousands of dancers and chose those they felt were the best. They chose ballet dancers, modern, jazz, hip-hop, ballroom, you name it. They didn't pigeon hole or limit the idea of "good dancer" to the classical, traditional forms. Then they partnered them up and gave them to some of the most talented choreographers in America. Sure, there's voting and elimination like in most reality tv shows, but that's not really the point.

The point is; they take these artists and they give them the best choreographers and they ask them to perform outside of their comfort zone and you just get to watch these kids do amazing things. It's like taking Steve Nash and asking him to play a hockey game on an NHL team, or getting an MLB pitcher to play midfield with Real Madrid. It's completely amazing and mesmerizing.

I don't think you have to love dance to enjoy the show, but in case you're not a big fan of ballet and tu-tus, don't worry; there's all kinds of dance performed. Plus, the girls wear skimpy outfits if that helps at all!

Personally, I'm not a huge fan of the ballroom numbers or the hip-hop kind of stuff, but I am a huge sucker for what they call lyrical or contemporary. The easy way to think about lyrical/contemporary is that the dance is supposed to use the music to tell a story, to make the watcher feel something. And, if you let yourself, you'll see and feel and hear and learn.

Last season, I had some favourite dancers and some favourite dances. The company that "owns" the clips doesn't much like sharing, (so watch them soon, they get removed real quick like) but I've managed to scrape together some clips of some of my last season's favourites.(Updated to add: Actually, in the week since I first started this post, they've all been "removed" so now all I can find is video of someone videoing their tv. Go figure) They may not convince you to watch the show, especially if you don't enjoy the same style as I do but maybe they'll show you a little bit of why I enjoy this show.

Remember, these kids are learning new routines every week, while trying to work with a partner and understand and interpret what the choreographer gives them, often never having danced in that style before. It's seriously cool.

(Cool dance videos used to go here! Here, here's two I've managed to figure out I had up via the comments... Ramalama Bang Bang, Calling You, )

At the very least, it's a fun show and, really, what else is on tv these days, right? Now, I'm done, and if you don't want to take my word for it? Perhaps you shall take hers! HA!

P.S. It's about damn time dance got some recognition. Woot!

P.P.S. I'm going to have to return this loaner computer soon so I may disappear again, although, perhaps you won't even notice. If I'm not back before the weekend, Happy Canada Day!!!!!

P.P.P.S. Do you have any idea how difficult it is to write posts on a different computer and on a different browser? Yikes. Please excuse typos, etc. And all. And stuff.

P.P.P.P.S. I just saw a grey squirrel with a yellow tail. Punk rock squirrel?

Sweet Sixteen

I was checking in on my flickr account (am trying to stay on top of things with a borrowed computer) and came across this picture.

It got me thinking about the whole phenomenon of "Sweet Sixteen".

My family comes from Scotland so the twenty-first birthday is the big one. The only thing I remember about turning sixteen was finally being old enough to go for my driver's license.

What about you? Was your 16th a big to-do?

Ooops

Laptop backlight busted. Am typing this using flashlights. May be AFK for a while. Play nice

Happy Happy Joy Joy!

Well, ok, not really.

Seeing as I ain't posting today and I likely ain't posting tomorrow , especially if watching Season 1 of Deadwood means I'm gonna be typin with this accent, I thought I'd find a photo for ya.

So.

Here's Gandalf.

Getting a hotdog.

Or maybe some ice cream.

Please hold your applause.

Nope, Not Going To

Anything I write right now will be a big combination of swear words and rotten things about my job and how much stupid work they keep making up to throw at me just when I think I'm done and do you know how many hours this weekend I spent on this stuff and now I have to do what so...

I'm just not going to post anything right now.






But how are you?

Always and Never

There's a wedding coming up a few weekends from now.

Friends of a good friend of mine.

Good friends by extension, I suppose.

Well, he's a good friend, anyway.

I don't really know the gal and it's a fairly intimate, casual thing.

I'm not sure I'm up for it.

The whole shebang.

The "are you seeing anyone" questions and the wedding-ness and the romance and the single-ness of me.

And maybe one other person.

Thereby automatically allowing everyone else to try to hook us up.

I'm thinking I might quietly decline.

Weddings are one thing when you're single.

Another thing entirely when you're freshly heartbroken.

Oh Bother

I have muchly work to do this weekend and it is making my brain not be able to write goodly or postily. Therefore, I have only one thing to say to you:

I CAN HAS CHEEZBURGER?

Well ? Can ?

(Thinks To Self) Hmmm, Maybe if I Distract Them, They Won't Notice I Have Nothing To Say!

Look! Over there! ----------->

I put stuff in the sidebar!

All by myself!


See?

Things I Discovered Last Night

Cardigans have two sleeves. It matters which one you put on first.

If you sit by an open window with wet hair you will get cold. Especially if it is windy.

There is no flavour of Mr.Freeze that goes with a Gewurztraiminer.

Wearing a long skirt and big slippers may make you trip.

Sometimes my fingers like to type words backwards. They may be dyslexic, or just over-eager.

If someone accidentally tapes CSI for you instead of So You Think You Can Dance, don't watch it right before bed or you may never sleep again.

I Had to Retype Four Words in the First Sentence Alone.

I had stuff to tell you, but I had a glass of wine with dinner and now I can't make it make enough sense.

Hope you had a good weekend.

Also, if you leave udon soup in the fridge overnight the noodles soak up the soup and it becomes udon....notsoup.

OK.

TGIFF

It's finally Friday.

Amen.

It's time to kick back and relax.

Go on.

Chill.

(I dare you!)

Have a good weekend y'all.

Flights of Fancy

There are some damn fine people in my life. Some of whom stick up for me when I don't even realize I need stuck up for. (Stucken up for?)

Allow me to elucidate.

My favourite airline decided to have a seat sale.

A seat sale that would allow me to fly to *mumble* theothersideofthecountry *mumble* if I so wanted to in August when I have some holiday time booked.

I stumbled upon this seat sale four days before it was over and I kind of went into overdrive.

I debated the merits of flying to the *cough* othersideofthecountry *cough* and I talked to Smith about it and then I continued wondering if it was a good idea and then I tried to figure out if I should or shouldn't but if I didn't would I regret it and shouldn't I live a little and what should I do because it was a BIG savings on a long, expensive flight that really I would need to save money on if I went but should I go and I have only how many days to decide?

I debated back and forth mentally for a while and two days before the deadline, I emailed my buddy (hi buddy!) and asked him what he thought. My buddy has done a long distance relationship before and my buddy flies a lot and my buddy is a guy and is therefore very sensible in his advice giving. Which I appreciate.

He told me, flat out, not to buy the tickets right now. He told me it would put too much pressure on the (non) relationship for the next two months and that he thought seat sales were a bit of a scam anyway. As I babbled on about WHY I thought I should, but really WHAT should I do, he then came up with a sanity saving offer.

"Don't buy the tickets now," he said. "What's the seat sale price?"

I told him.

"OK, here's what you do. If, in August, you still want to fly out there, you give me that amount and I'll get you the tickets through air miles." (Yes, he flies a lot. He is a flier. He's important and smart like but not technically a spy. He may become one though. We're still deciding if he's cool enough)

I was floored and flabbergasted and fantastically fappy. (That's "Happy". But it doesn't start with an "F". I had to improvise.)

Just like that, my buddy had taken my mental stress away. I was no longer worried about getting tickets in time to save money. I was no longer trying to figure out if this was something I actually wanted to do. The weight was off and the relief was palpable. (Damn, I'm just full of good words today!) It was amazing, and I'm so grateful.

I'm not sure I thanked him profusely enough, but in Smith's words, "You tell Buddy that he's a stand up guy."

He is indeed.

I am incredibly lucky... I have good people.

They keep me grounded.*

And sane.

Ish.


*Heh. Flight joke unintended, but funny!

I Was Feeling Particularly Bummed Out When I Wrote This One. It Seemed a Shame to Just Delete It.

Good musicians make me feel like they're singing what I'm feeling.

Right now, City and Colour is doing just that: expressing lyrically and musically what's going on inside my head and my heart.

I'm not always good at expressing myself so I like it when I can find something that helps me.

While it's not every single lyric in this song, a lot of it is where my brain has gotten stuck. 'Specially the middle.

So. Listen.


City and Colour - Like Knives 

Or look.

Like Knives - City and Colour

Your words are like knives
They peel my skin and pierce my soul
Your body will burn tonight
Though your heart may still remain cold

And I will blame myself
And I will blame myself
For holding on to what I hoped would keep you by my side
I will blame myself

The sheets are stained with
Memories of your soft kiss
Now this is all I have
Paper and pen
to remember you with

And I will blame myself
And I will blame myself
For holding on to what I hoped would keep you by my side
I will blame myself

Can I have you?
Can I have you?
Can I have you?
Can I have you?

Allow me, once again, to recommend this guy. He rocks.

P.S. If you're not feeling particularly drippy, go give this City and Colour song a listen.

PPS. I'm actually doing pretty well right now, not that this post makes it sound like it. I just hate throwing out a post once I've spent the time to write it out. So, let's just pretend I posted this already. Or, more fun, let's pretend it's two weeks ago!

PPPS. I know what's going to happen two weeks from now!

Do You Know What Else It Is?

So I know I'm supposed to just let go and move on and that I'm supposed to tell myself that if it's meant to be it will work out and if it's not meant to be there will be someone better out there for me, but dude. Seriously.

A lot of well meaning friends and acquaintances have asked, upon learning that I'm kind of maybe sort of single again, if I've tried on line dating.

Um. No.

I know it works for a lot of people.

I know many happy stories of soul mates found on line.

But I want you to try something.

Go onto lavalife or match.com and search for guys in your area somewhere between the ages of 26 and 40.

Do you see what I see?

So how am I supposed to easily walk away from a good, attractive, decent guy when I KNOW for a fact that there are not a lot of them out there? How am I supposed to just give up and say "oh well, there are other fish in the sea" when the other fish are more like this? Creepy, sleazy, nasty, not-anyone-I-want-to-take-home-to-Mom-y.

So, on top of all the "is my current (sort of non) relationship worth fighting for because of the difficulties piling against it" there's the whole "well, shoot, maybe this is the best I can get my hands on and I should snap him up and just hope for the best" kind of thing.

I know, you're groaning and/or rolling your eyes. And you're going to pull out stories of the great single guys you know who have nothing wrong with them and are just... single. Sure. But for every one of them there's also the others. (And no, I don't mean Ben.... although, I could go for that seriously hunky Other, yum!)

*sigh*

It's just so damn frustrating to feel like I'm turning down a perfectly good guy when there seem to be so few around.

VICTORIA!

That sound you hear is me yelling at myself for not wearing my glasses to the gym.

Which, you know, I never do, but man. I so should have today.

I was all mellowing out in the stretching room when a guy walked in. He was cute in a can't really see him kind of way with longish hair, blah blah blah, right?

See, I have a terribly light prescription, I don't even really need to wear my glasses so I don't. But it means that I can't clearly make out the features of someone on the far side of a room.

Like this dude.

So as I was leaving the room he was heading back into the room carrying this big heavy weight. I kind of moved out of the way to let him in and he stopped to let me out. I glanced up at him and, I swear, I froze.

"Go ahead" he says, smiling, with these lovely blue eyes framed in his gorgeous face and his longish hair pushed back off his forehead....all the while holding this heavy weight just so little old me can leave the room. Sigh.

I smiled and said thank you and walked out and had to stop myself from turning around and going back in just to ask him if he knows just how good looking he is.

So, as I floated out to my car I told myself that if I'd seen earlier just how hot he was I might have been more prepared to actually speak to him or something like, you know, flirty. As it was, I was too stunned by the gorgeosity that I didn't manage much more than a smile and a "Thanks".

Which, you know, is better than I might have done, considering!

You know, he could have been this guy's brother or something.

Yummy!