Tuesday, 28 February 2017

Iiiiiiiiinnnnnn and Ouuuuttttt

I.... am not the best breather.

As in, I tend to breathe fairly shallowly most of the time.

When I focus on my breath too much (looking at you mindfulness class) I can actually get in that weird spot of overthinking and then getting kind of panicky cuz.... I like breathing!  Not breathing is bad!

A few months ago I noticed I was sometimes getting wheezy, often at night when I was reading.  It's probably positional or something but that, combined with sort of random coughing, and my acupuncturist suggesting I work on bigger breaths, I started to look into improving my breathing.

Now, I'm fairly sure I could have gone to my doctor, described my symptoms and gotten some sort of inhaler or something, but I'd rather leave steroids or whatnot for a last resort or bronchial infection or something icky.  So I wanted to do something a little more natural.

I looked up some yoga type breathing exercises but didn't get very far with that.

And then I remembered a breathing thing my Dad had when he had his heart surgery.  So, I looked it up and then ordered myself a spirometer!  (I think it's technically called an "incentive spirometer" and I found it on Amazon through a yoga thing... go figure!)

I thought it was a blow into capacity thing but it turns out it's a breathe in capacity thing.  I've been using it regularly for a month or so now and I've already improved my lung capacity!  YAY ME!

So I'm hopefully getting better breaths and cleaning out my lungs (or something like that) and yay for breathing and not wheezing, yay!

Monday, 27 February 2017

Dear Spider In My Car

Dear Spider (or possibly spiders..?),

I'm really not sure how you got in to my car, but I'm pretty sure it wasn't on purpose.  Or, at least, it shouldn't have been on purpose.

I see that you're trying to get yourself a snack... what with the webs you (youse?) keep on making on my window... area, but, I really would like it if you could find your way to be NOT in my car.

I just have to keep wiping away the web... tracings and usually I only see them once I'm already driving and so it distracts me and someone might think I'm a crazy person waving at them with a kleenex....

So.  If you want, next time I get IN to my car, just.... you know, jump out the door or something ok?  I promise there's much better eating out in the big world. 


Friday, 24 February 2017


The problem with binge watching (or re-watching) a show is that then it's over.

*glares at self* 

Thursday, 23 February 2017


Last week, the power was out in my building for several hours while the power people did power things.  (I feel like there's a song in there...)

I had a couple of hours at home without power and I noticed the habits I didn't even know I had.

Like, apparently I check my oven (stove) clock whenever I'm in the kitchen.  I only know this because I kept NOT seeing what time it was when I looked.

And my bathroom... I turn on the light every time I go in (well except at night because ugh, darkness good) and I had no idea how dark it is in there without the light on... I mean, that sounds dumb but you know what I mean?

It was also so very nice and quiet and when the electricity popped back on the noise of everything was really really really annoying.  Really.

How noisy is a fridge HOLY SMOKES.

No electricity is such a lovely non-sound.  Why's everything gotta be so buzzy?

Oh!  And, I'd charged my laptop so it'd still have juice but totally forgot that my wifi... needs power.  D'oh!  

Wednesday, 22 February 2017


Sorry, rough night. 

Got ill after dinner and then bawled my eyes out at a character leaving a show (re-watching the Office very slowly and you know who just left and oh man, my heart.)

Then needed hugs but also not hugs because they'd squish my stomach.


Tuesday, 21 February 2017


Sometimes when C-Dawg and I have to do something we don't want to do we say we have to go put on our "big girl pants."

It pretty much always sucks putting on big girl pants because you have to put them on and do something not fun. 

But this weekend, I had to go do something not fun and I texted C-Dawg that I had to go put on my big girl pants and do the thing.  Then I went to my bedroom and took my jeans out of the closet and started to put them on.

And that's when CANDY FELL OUT OF THE POCKET!!!!!

No, I'm serious! 

I had totally forgotten I'd put some random candies in my jeans pocket last time I was wearing them so then I had to text her back and let her know that my big girl pants are the best ever because they come with secret candy!


Best big girl pants ever!

Monday, 20 February 2017

Aaaaaand The Dreams Continue

To summarize my last few days' worth of dreams....

1.  My friend's cat can fly, and does so to chase eagles.  And then lands on telephone wires to throw food up to its babies (which can clearly also fly because they're on the wires.)  So I'm not sure if all cats are now birds or just this one.

2.  I also have now graduated from high school and am in University/College and have two GIANT essay/papers due that are worth pretty much my whole grade and they're due tomorrow (dream time) and I haven't even started writing them.  I've done the research for them (and know everything about brown spots on lawns... that's my Science paper topic) so I *know* the information, I just haven't... started to write them and I don't have time.  I think I might skip the footnotes and bibliography to save time and maybe only do the Science one.

3.  I kept trying to tell C-Dawg that she was putting too much salt on the sturgeon.  Sturgeon doesn't need that much salt.  (Spoiler, she didn't listen.  Sigh)

4.  I got a (dream) puppy!  She is black and soft and I think her name is Lucy and she might be a Lab or Retriever or something like that and in the dream I'd dream met her already so she came home and my Dad left the screen door open and she almost got out but the guy who brought her said she's well trained enough to not.  Phew.

5.  Jason and I were going camping.  (Lucy might have been coming too?)  And we were walking through the woods to get to the camp place and I realized I hadn't asked him any of the things he brought and he might not even have any firewood in his giant backpack.  Ugh.


Welcome to my mind.

Friday, 17 February 2017

Well... That Was An Intese Dream!

This was a dream where I was in high school.  Not as an adult, but as the age you are in high school.  Probably grade 12 or maybe 11.  So I was a high schooler.  In... anonymous high school.

While I knew in the dream, it kind of escapes me now but I was "with" a guy but somehow not?  Like maybe we hadn't gone public or something I don't know, just that it was sort of not quite... open? 

So I was lying there at the bottom of the bleachers (?) listening to ... whatever, the music from the radio?? Or just randomly from the speakers (makes sense at the time!!!!) and he was doing whatever skater (skate board) thing with the other "cool" skate board guys and "More than Words" came on (which was and still is a song that makes me go awwww!  But at the time it was like THE most romantic song and I used to sing it and cry over the guy who asked out my friend instead of me!) and HE ran over to ME and kneeled over me and started singing it to me, AWWWWW!!!!!

And then he said that he wanted everyone to know we were a couple before the big skate board competition event next (day?  week?  I dunno) but that it was important to him (awww!) that I was there for him and everyone knew and that my support would be the best thing for him, AWWWW!!!!

How frigging cute is he?

(And no, that never particularly happened like that... no skate competitions that I know of and while I did date a guy a year younger (gasp!) he never made any particular public declarations and he played rugby, not skateboarding.)

At the time of the dream I TOTALLY knew who the guy was but now he has slipped my mind and I can't figure out who he was.  But still.  SO SWEET!  I love him!!!

Tuesday, 14 February 2017


I don't know if it was the sun we had (in between the masses of precipitation) or the days being noticeably longer, but I realized a few days ago that I feel like we're heading out of Winter.

I mean, I know technically we are, but it now is starting to feel like that.

It's still Winter, sure, but we're not heading into it.  We're on the way out!  And that means so many things!

It means milder days (which I don't mind, really) and brighter, longer days and nature doing naturey-things and most of all, I'll say it again, those brighter, longer, more light-filled days.

It's a nice feeling.  To be heading towards Spring.  You know?

PS.  I totally forgot... Happy Valentine's Day and day before chocolate sales day.

Monday, 13 February 2017

For Me

The snow last week was awesome. 

It started hours and hours earlier than they'd said it would which was the first sign that it was going to *actually* snow, for reals.  Which it then did.

By mid day, people were already concerned about the roads and most headed home if they were able.  I was fortunate that I didn't have to drive anywhere and walked to and from where I needed to be.  And then once I got home, I put on proper snow gear and headed out to play in it for a while.

There is something I love so much about being able to be out there in the cold with the snow falling and then be able to head back inside and warm up and be cozy.  So that is what I did.  I made snow lumps (it wasn't quite "damp" enough snow to roll for snow men) and threw snow balls (at inanimate objects) and actually just sat in it for a while watching it.  (And then my behind got really cold.) 

I find falling snow to be magical and my snow day last week was one of the happiest days I've had in a long while.

(The snow turned to rain that night and the roads the next few days were puddly slushy melty mess but man oh man that was a great day and oh so beautiful.)

Wednesday, 8 February 2017

Live, From Weather Blog, 2017

No, but really.  I do love (and am somewhat fascinated by) weather, plus they keep sort of half missing what's going to happen, AND, this is a really good way of telling that I maybe don't have a whole lot else I feel comfortable talking about.  And/or anything to say.  So that.

But.... we had snow, it was super pretty.  Then a super pretty say of snow with bright sunshine.  And now, for today (later?) they're predicting a WINTER STORM!!!!

Which... I'm taking to mean, they can see that precipitation is coming but really can't tell if it's going to hit as rain or snow or snain or sleet or frozen rain or what.  So they're saying it's probably going to be a mix of all of the above.

Which has, of course, created a bit of a panic of MUST GET SUPPLIES AND CANCEL ALL THINGS... even though they say Thursday will be mild and rainy, which will mean you can go get your groceries and stuff, you know, like, tomorrow?  Ahem.

Anyway.  I'm still not counting on anything until I actually see it happening.  I may have to get some more chocolate before the predicted start of the WINTER STORM though.... you know, just to be safe.

Tuesday, 7 February 2017

So Pretty

I know there are people who will disagree with me and I'm saying this from the cozy comfort of my fuzzy pjs and blanket, but snow is so so pretty.  The way it falls... when it coast everything in white.  I really do love it.* 

*(When I'm home safe with nowhere to go.)

Monday, 6 February 2017


Last week people were talking about how Spring had sprung here and I just kept thinking "nope".... because... nope!  Sure, our blossoms and things get tricked into thinking it's earlier than it is... or... later than it is I suppose and it happens every year.... cherry blossoms waaaaaay too early.

But no.  Cold snap, warm snap, cold snap, snow that didn't, rain, rain, cold snap, snow that is maybe (where we are right now.)  But no... not Spring.  Not yet.  Nope!

Saturday, 4 February 2017

Oh, And?

Since we're talking about the (many) (probably unnecessary) paths my brain goes down, I think I've mentioned it before but reading is really weird.

I was reading the other night (I haven't been keeping up with the "book I'm reading" at the side of the blog, I'll probably delete it, especially since I'm currently re-reading books) when I started to think about it.

We look at lines and shapes that represent letters that are sort of sounds but really just symbols, and we then put together those sound shapes into words and those words make pictures in our minds and all of this happens (when one is able to read) without us really noticing.  We just... read.  Our eyes move across a page and we are *in* a story.  We are picturing things and following things and feeling things.... it's... magical.  It really is.

Reading is the strangest thing when you really think about it.

(PS  I just moved my fingers on a keyboard and "talked" to you and your brain and eyes.... heard it.  Dude!)

Friday, 3 February 2017

It's Also A Weird Word (Purple, That Is)

Grape flavoured candies are generally my favourite in a candy-group situation.

You know, like in the skittles package, I like the grape ones best.  Or the SweetTarts.... grape!

I was thinking about that the other day and then I started thinking about the fact that the grape ones are not actually grape flavoured. 

Like, I was sitting there eating one and I thought, you know, this doesn't really taste like what I think grapes taste like.  So... have we (the candy manufacturers I guess, really) just found a purple flavour for candies and we just call it grape because some grapes are purple?  (At the exclusion of green grapes, because green is usually "lime" flavour.)

So... I guess I like "grape flavour" candy.  And grapes.  Even if that's not the same... flavour.

(I think too much.  It's ok.  Sometimes.)

Thursday, 2 February 2017

It's A Bugger

One of the great (and many) difficulties with anxiety (at this level) is that I am so overwhelmed and mentally, emotionally and physically crowded with conflicting but very real sounding and feeling thoughts, opinions, ideas, stories, predictions and rational that I often can not see a way forward.  At all. So my life can get to be a pile of lose-lose situations.  And outside opinions just further confuse things.

It is really very difficult and no fun at all and I would not wish this on anyone.  At all.

Wednesday, 1 February 2017

I Think The Message Is Clear

If you remember a couple of weeks ago, I adorned my shins with massive line-bruises by an attack by my washing machine. 

Well, I have now been attacked by a kitchen table that slammed itself into my (bent) knee in such a way that I almost passed out and can't currently do knee stuff.

I think the message is clear.  I am meant to stay out of the kitchen.

Anyone have any house elves I can have?

Please don't steal stuff from here, it's not nice. But leave a comment, why don't cha? And drink more water. It's good for you.

P.S. If you think you know me? You probably don't. If you're sure you know me? Pretend you don't. I'll never admit I know what you're talking about anyway.

P.P.S. All this stuff is copyright from then til now (Like, 2006-2018 and then some.) Kay? Kay.