Sunday, 30 November 2014

"The Body"

I recently found this photo of Elle Macpherson on her 50th birthday.

Elle Macpherson is a well known supermodel and in this photo, she is stunning, gorgeous, lean, with lovely long hair in a bikini on a yacht at fifty years old.


She is an absolute knockout and at an inspirational age.

So I printed the photo out from online and stuck it on my fridge.  I have X number of years to get myself into that kind of shape, I told myself.  If she can do it?  I can do it!  Hurrah!

And I walk past that photo of the terrifically fit and gorgeous 50 year old Ms Macpherson every day...

And it wasn't until the other day that I had a sort of a realization.

Elle Macpherson was born with genes that I was not.  Tall, thin genes.  I didn't get those.

Elle Macpherson has a body shape that I will never have.  Unless, of course, I get massive amounts of plastic surgery and have bones shaved and leg bones stretched and all sorts of things that are actually done in our world but I will never naturally be any taller or less shapely.  I gots curves. 

Yes, I could absolutely be strong and as lean as possible when I'm fifty.  I could be toned and fit and healthy and that is a goal I can certainly reach towards.  But that body?  I'm never going to have.

So I may keep the photo on my fridge a while longer because man, it's great to see you can be what we used to think of as "old" and still look like a gazillion dollars.  But instead of me wanting to look like her, I want to look as healthy as her and I have a good number of years to get there.

I also know that time tends to fly, and that it's easier to gain weight and to lose tone and fitness than it is to get fitter, and I know that Elle Macpherson probably has financial resources to help her that I probably can't afford right now but it's clear she takes care of herself and her body and I can do the same.

Maybe some day, someone will be looking at a photo of me in a bikini somewhere going Wow, Victoria looked like that when she was X years old?  I can do that too!

Saturday, 29 November 2014


You know how sometimes an itch doesn't itch until you notice it and then you wonder how you ever missed it? 

So, last month my building manager person let me know that the plumbers were coming in to take a look at my radiators as the new tenants below me were hearing ticking. She asked if I heard ticking and I said no.

They've been in a few times, once turning on my bedroom radiator that I never use and that night my bedroom radiator made dripping noises.

I told her and they came and looked but here's the thing.

Now I hear what I've always thought was just the drains of the building (gutters, etc) and, well I'm realizing it's our heating system.

I didn't know I was hearing it... and now I do!

It hasn't bothered me before so I doubt it'll bother me now, but it's just odd to be realizing what I thought was one thing is actually something completely different.

Which makes me think of Monty Python.

And now for something completely different...

Friday, 28 November 2014


I had a bit of a frustrating Saturday last weekend.

Rather, a frustrating evening on Saturday.

I'd upgraded to Apple's latest OS, Yosemite mid week on both my phone and my computer.  (I'd waited a bit to see if they'd get any bugs out)  Things seemed to be fine but for some reason I can't remember anymore my phone asked for me to sign in with my passwords Saturday night.

Which.. I couldn't remember.  So I reset my apple passwords.

And then things got frustrating.

I couldn't text/imessage people.  C-Dawg messaged me...and my phone wasn't showing up for her, just my email and imessage, but I was using my phone to text/message her.


I'd also watched a documentary that had me disturbed (as good documentaries will do I suppose) and dealing with not awesomely functional technology on top of that was not fun.

I shut everything down again Sunday morning and did some fixes I found online and... well, jury's still out.  C-Dawg and my phone still aren't quite communicating but we've had on and off problems for years that way... I don't currently really trust that my messages/texts are getting through to anyone unless I hear back from them so that's not awesome but... that's kind of how technology seems to me...

If it's working perfectly it's great.  Any glitches or issues?  It's a mess.

I wonder if the telegraph machine had issues... smoke signals?  Carrier pigeons?  Pony express?

Le sigh.

Thursday, 27 November 2014

Side Effects

So my doctor gave me this medication to help something get better and I do think it's helping that thing get better but I'm probably going to stop using it because it's also making that thing worse in a totally different way!!!!

I googled it, and it turns out that this is a side effect of the thing that sometimes happens and yeah, all you can do is stop using the thing... which.. hello?

Plus, I think it's one of those medications that they accidentally found could be used for what I'm using it for but is actually meant for a totally different thing altogether.

Stuff's weird, yo.

Wednesday, 26 November 2014

Oh Yeah!

I have no idea exactly what triggered this memory, but I've just remembered a silly little story from Burning Man.

This summer, two or three weeks before we were going to be leaving (and before we even had an actual ticket for Connor!) I was downtown at one of those street fair festival type things.  There was this booth that was selling these t-shirts that had sound activated light up patterns on them.

For example, there might be a skull and it would have eyes that would glow in the same manner as the music you were playing or listening to. 

There were swirly patterns and the one I liked that looked a bit like a sound display from those fancy old stereo systems.

The t-shirt wasn't terribly expensive and I thought it'd be really fun to wear at night around Burning Man, what with it being lights and there always being sound or noise around.

Most nights were still too warm for me to be in a tshirt but I finally pulled it out mid-week.  And that's when our hilarious (and tipsy) neighbours realized that they could talk to my boobs and make them light up.

Because of course, I hadn't thought of that.  Hadn't thought through that the glowing pattern design... on a girl... would be... you know... boob..ish.  And that silly drunk neighbours would find great amusement in sitting next to me and shouting at my boobs in order to make the shirt light up.


It was funny and silly, but... I didn't wear the shirt out and about because I didn't feel like having strangers make my boobs light up.  Or talking to my chest area in general.

But it was a fun little while watching these fellows giddy with amusement over making my chest light up.

Oh boys... you never really grow up do you?

Tuesday, 25 November 2014

A Thing

I found myself grumbling the other day about all things Christmas and how I don't like this and that and I realized I didn't really want to spend the next month hating everything.

So even though Christmas has not been easy or fun for me the last while, I'm going to try to look for the good things around and about this December.

Like, the lights are pretty and help to brighten up the long evenings.

And... I do like that there are a bunch of songs that lots of people know and sing along to, that's a nice thing too.

And... that'll do for now I think.  It's a start, and even if that's all I remind myself of all season, that's ok.

Monday, 24 November 2014


I think I've noticed a pattern the last few weekends, but haven't really done much about it....

See, come weekends, I'm so happy to just sit and chill and relax.  And because of this sort of sense of ahhhhh, I'm generally not in the mood to cook.

So often, come Friday night I'm like, bah.. I don't want to pick up groceries on the way home I'll just have... popcorn... or something equally "easy" but, so not food or protein source or good.

And then that will sometimes repeat on Saturday and Sunday, where I'll have toast instead of my weekday breakfast, or I'll have breakfast and then just kind of snack and ooh popcorn would be a nice treat (I've stopped the chips issue at least) and then I find that on the weekends I'm all blah and lethargic and blue.

Um... hello?  Shouldn't take a genius to put together the two and two of eating poorly and feeling poorly.  Ugh.  And yet... so many times the "lazy"... the relaxing wins out.  Not all the time, mind, but I've had some pretty blah Saturdays that had no reason to be so blah.

I also (I think I mentioned) hadn't been doing my mindfulness/meditation.  Probably for a couple of months.  Maybe even when things got really hard with Jason and I?  I don't know, I just know I've been avoiding it or something.  So last week I made the time and like I said, it probably helped and certainly didn't hurt.

And then last night I didn't do it.  I don't know why... watched one too many shows or noodled around on the internet for an hour two long or something and then I just wanted to go to bed rather than spend another hour trying to calm my mind.  (Because it's not an easy process, it takes effort... even if it ends with a calmer me...)  And I didn't have a good time falling asleep.  Could be just coincidence, or it could be that I do actually sleep better when I've done mindfulness that evening.... certainly I'll be doing it tonight to see how my sleeping goes.

I've also had weird dreams these last few weeks... or month maybe, I'm not sure.  But, odd dreams that I want to remember but that slip away from me in the morning.  Slightly disturbing dreams, like Jason and I living near my parents and my parents witnessing him getting arrested because the sniffer dog (a beagle, go figure) was sent to find drugs in our house...  I remembered that one... it was from early this morning, and totally my fault for watching Sons of Anarchy before bed.  (We happened to "live" at the house where a gruesome scene in the episode took place...go figure.)

Anyway.  I'm frustrated with myself because I really like relaxing and not doing anything or having to do anything.  I even groaned Saturday morning when I realized I "had" to do laundry.  (Of course, I didn't have to do laundry, but it's the best, easiest time for me to do it... I just didn't want to.)

So I'm going to try to be more consistent with things I guess... because they do seem to help me feel better.

And I don't want to spend my down days feeling all blah.

Saturday, 22 November 2014

It's the Brotherly Interaction That Gets Me

Well, since that video gone done broke... anyone have anything they'd like me to babble about this week?

Friday, 21 November 2014


So I totally had a post or two in my brain to write and since I've just sat down to write them... of course they're gone... Sigh.

So here's a random update instead!

I bawled my eyes out at the final episode of The O.C. last night.  Yes, that O.C.  I was watching it again as a mind mellowing zone out show and, well, the last episode of any series usually gets me because I know the actors were probably crying and upset about it all too.  But, yeah, tears.

I've managed to make "pan" popcorn a few times now, it was much easier than I thought.  It's not completely flavourless, but it's not... you know, butter and salty either.  A decent compromise?  We shall see.

Still hanging in at Boot Camp, figure I'm getting stronger because I'm up a couple of hand weight weights and don't seem to be dying although I am trying hard.  I never want to go though.  It's not as if the day of Boot Camp I'm like yay!  Well, sometimes I am, but then by the end of the day I do not want to go.  This is why it's good for me to have a buddy to go with.  I wouldn't be going if C-Dawg weren't going too.

Did I mention C-Dawg got engaged?  I can't remember.  But she did.  They did.  Summer wedding!  She's promised no high heels.  Amen.

Also, C-Dawg's flu shot didn't hurt her at all.  Crazy... but at least now I have some idea why!  Lucky dawg.  (Heh... I made a funny.)

Our town's mini cold snap is over, a co-worker and his wife had a baby, I keep thinking about Jay lately (it's about a year since we broke up for the final time), and trying to keep myself from worrying about how Burning Man will all work out this year.  Things are pretty decent with Jason and I right now, we seem to have made it through another really bad patch.  Facebook is still the devil's work...  Christmas lights are springing up all over... time for me to stay out of the malls.

But, as someone pointed out, it's not too long before the days, techinically, start getting longer again.  Yay!

Oh, and I upgraded to Yosemite and am trying to figure that all out, plus my sonicare needs recharging every couple of days now and I can't really afford a replacement right now so I'm just putting up with more regular recharging.

Finally (I think) energy wise, I realized I'd not been consistent with taking my B12 (I have droplets, the shots hurt too much and the vitamins disagree with me) and I've been taking that daily and I really think it has helped my energy and maybe even my mood.  Plus, I'd not been doing my mindfulness/meditation and I got myself back on track with that this week and while I do think it helps I can't find anything it makes worse other than taking twenty minutes of my time to do.

Thursday, 20 November 2014

Things That Make Things Not Worse

Things that make things
not worse -
for hours on the phone
about everything

ending up
at a beautiful sunset

a hug
from a three year old

making dinner together
in my
warm kitchen

watching the Simpsons
my head
on his shoulder

back rub
and me
and holding him
and letting some of it go

Wednesday, 19 November 2014

T for Two (A Poem for J)

There was a punching bag with your name on it tonight
well, ok, not literally
it wasn't my bag to write on after all but you get the idea...
me, punching away at that bag
punching any anger I had into the bag and it wasn't too long before your name came up

Your name
and the fact that you never said thank you
and never tried to help
just used and took
and didn't even see it as that

And I'm not mad at myself
because I have a good heart
and I wanted to give
and care
and nurture
and love
and it's you I was punching that bag about

because you used me
and my generosity
and saw no reason not to
and gave no apologies when I called foul
had no grace or gratitude
just puppy dog eyes
holding me tight
after you were sated
never mind how I might feel

Tuesday, 18 November 2014

Down With The Man, Man!

It's a long, not necessarily interesting story that involves my strong dislike of being tracked and advertised to and an amazing Sociology professor and how much a lot of internet advertising weirds me out.

You see, I opt out of getting flyers and junk mail, I've opted out of whatchamacallit phone calls and I just now discovered I can opt out of some ad customization (fancy term) online.   You know, the type of ads where you check something on amazon and then all of a sudden ads appear on other pages for the same thing and you're like... excuuuuse me?  So I'm adjusting my tin-foil hat and other cliches and sending my fellow Canadians the same choice...

Not saying it's bothering you too, but... why make it easy on them, eh?  I prefer to be less trackable and I know the internet doesn't really work that way but still... if they're giving me an opt out option, you bet I'm using it!

PS  I'm registered on the Do Not Call List (telemarketers) until 2021 now!  Woot!

Monday, 17 November 2014


I had two shots last week.

One was the flu shot, given by my doctor, the other was my booster for tetanus, diptheria and pertussus (needed every ten years, btw, public service announcement, you're welcome) given by a nurse in the pharmacy/shot clinic thingamy.

Here's what's weird.  The flu shot?  Hurt like a sunofagun.  For a couple of days.  Like not comfortable.  Owie owie, ow.

The other shot?  Not so much.  Not going in, not after, I mean, sure, it was tender and I could tell it was there and it wasn't comfortable but it hurt much much less than the flu shot had.  And I could feel the shot hurting when I turned my arm certain ways, like the actual muscle that had been... injected into hurt or something.

Is there a reason for this?  For one to hurt less than the other?  I'm not sure, but you can bet I'm going to google it and see!

And yeah, I'm happy to say I should be good to step on a rusty nail for the next ten years.

Not that I want to or anything... just saying.

Saturday, 15 November 2014


The day off this week was lovely, but I'm still very very happy it's the weekend.


Friday, 14 November 2014


I am not a fan of scented things.

Products, I should say.... or people, really.

Like, I can't handle it if a woman is wearing perfume.  Not a fan of a guy with a lot of cologne either, although it's somewhat easier to handle than perfume.

But scented household products?  Not my thing.

Like, my laundry detergent?  Has to be unscented. Why would I want my laundry to smell like something?  I'm washing it.

Scents just smell overwhelming to me.  And annoying.

I bought some Swiffer refills the other day, opened up the box and WHIFF.  I hadn't noticed I'd accidentally picked up a box of something or other orange scented Swiffer things.  WHY?  I JUST WANT MY FLOOR TO BE CLEAN!  CLEAN DOESN'T HAVE A SMELL!

Now, that's not to say I like everything to be unscented.

I discovered this when my brother told me about an unscented shampoo and conditioner he loves.  He got me a mini bottle of each and... it's weird.

I can't get over my shampoo not having a nice, mild, fruity scent to it.  (I don't like the brand name stinky ones, but go for more natural ones, or AG or other "salon" type ones.)  I don't mind a bit of a smell to my hair products because I expect it.  And they're not overwhelming to me, probably because I choose the scent.  (I did have a counsellor once who was extremely scent sensitive and some shampoos she just couldn't be around the person for the session.)

So yeah... I don't like household products with scent.  It weirds me out and my nose doesn't like it.  It annoys me.  Because now I just smell chemical smells... I just want my laundry and my bathroom to be clean.  Not "seabreeze" scentedly clean.

Thursday, 13 November 2014

No Night Night

Speaking of poetry and writing, I've found that a lot of times my brain starts to write (it just does that sometimes, starts writing in my head) at times that aren't actually conducive to writing.

Most commonly?  When I'm in bed, reading a book, about to go to sleep.

In fact, that's when this blog was started (back in the 1800s).  Me, lying in bed, reading, about to go to sleep.

I've lost a lot of writing by lying there, saying it over and over in my head and convincing myself I'll still remember it in the morning.


Sometimes I'll force myself to get up and get the computer and type it out, but other times I know that that's going to make it another hour or two before I do sleep and on the days where I have to work in the morning... well, sometimes sleep is a very valuable commodity.

I do have a pen and paper in my drawer next to my bed but I write slower than I type and so sometimes things even get lost that way.  (My brain seems to have converted to typing for writing... and it's weird that someone just showed me "dictation" for text messaging... it doesn't seem easier to me...yet?)

I've also lost a few poems while walking or something.  Again, those moments when I tell myself I'll remember it and then get distracted by something and get home just in time to remember I've forgotten something.

It'll even happen when I'm blogging.

I'll have an idea for a post, go find a photo to match with the post and by the time I've set up the photo the post is gone.

And sometimes when I have the time to sit down and write, there's nothing there that wants to come out.

I know a lot of writers say that they have scheduled writing time no matter what.  I don't have that daily, but I do have a habit of sitting down to write for an extended period of time on days off (weekends usually, or the occasional holiday) and so I do have that time period.  Except for the moments when I try that and nothing's there to be said.

Writing's a funny thing.  Takes no time at all to read what has taken a lot of time to write.

And for me, the things I write that seem to connect most to people are the things I've written when I'm very much being open in how I'm feeling, and that's not always an easy thing to do.

Ah well.  The sun is shining, Fall is here, and it's Wednesday.

Plus, I'm not trying to sleep as I'm writing this, so it's all good!

Wednesday, 12 November 2014


Not exactly in a "need more sleep" kind of way but a "it's a rough time" kind of way.

I keep thinking (well, this last week or so) that I should go ahead and share some of my poetry kind of writing here, but then that seems weird, because I don't do that here.  This has always just sort of been my babbling spot.  Like, actual diary kind of stuff where I don't think, just write.  I guess it just feels odd to consider "writing" here in any sort of different way.

Got my flu shot Monday, maybe that's adding to the tired a little... also got a prescription for my tetanus/pertussus/I forget what elseus.  Putting it out as a reminder that you need to update those there vaccinations every ten years.  I was bitten by a squirrel ten years ago so I have my reminder date quite handily.  (What? I wanted to pet it... it thought I was feeding it... chomp, ouch, shots.)  Actually, now that I think of it, it probably wasn't a tetanus shot I got at that time, it was probably rabies...but...oh well.  I think I'll wait a while before I slam my arm and body with another shot or so though.

Cold and sunny here right now.  I'll take the cold that brings the sun any day. 

Made the leaves on the ground go all dry and crispy.

Tuesday, 11 November 2014


Today, especially, my thoughts and thanks go out to the brave soldiers who fought for others in World War One.

I will never forget travelling to Vimy ridge and feeling the power of the loss and sacrifice there.

Nor will I ever forget how we, as visiting Canadians, were treated there.  Again, in memory and thanks for the sacrifices made.

Remembering all those who died.

Thank you.

Monday, 10 November 2014

Middle of it All

I've been at a loss for quite what to talk about/write here for a couple of weeks now.  I don't know if it's writer's block or some combination of writer's block and the fact that I'm feeling like I'm just holding back a major catastrophe in my mind.

Jason's situation is bad.  And while I'm trying to tell myself that things are starting to improve, it's the same as the short days... yes, I know the days will get longer, but it feels like an awfully long time until we get there... and I need to keep myself together until we do.

To have a partner (even a strange sort of situation technically ex partner?) who is going through extraordinarily tough times is really really hard.  Because it's not just helping someone, it's also losing the person who is usually the one you talk to, the one who supports you.  So it's three times the effort.  You're taking care of them, yourself, and you can't share the burden.

I wish I felt I could lay it all out on the line for you... write it all out in black and white but I can't.  Or maybe I just don't want to because of all the judgement that I'd have to wade through.  I know where I'm screwing myself over.  I know I deserve "better" and all the rest of the platitudes so I don't want to hear the errors of my ways.

I just want a little bit more of the guy back that I started dating way back in January/February.  I want a partner in this sh*t storm.  Because it's fucking exhausting rowing the boat while bailing it out while steering through the waves and trying not to get sea sick.  And if I jump out of the boat to swim myself to safety, someone else is most likely just going to die at sea.

And I don't have it in me to be that callous.

Saturday, 8 November 2014


Why is it that sleeping in in the morning or falling asleep during a nap feel so different from falling asleep at night?

Friday, 7 November 2014

The Chip Fiasco

So my logic was this...

I often feel like a salty snack treat and have been making air popped popcorn when I do.  But that involves a fair amount of butter (it just does!) and so I thought to myself that maybe it would be somehow... healthier if I bought chips instead.

So I bought a mini bag of "healthy" chips from a local company and then a bag from a UK company and then I did it again, rinse and repeat until I started craving chips and buying big bags when I couldn't find the small bags.

And then I started going through a big bag in a day and...well... I stopped.

Told myself that Halloween was my last day of chips.

But... does anyone actually know if my buttery buttery popcorn is "better" for me or if my chippy Mc Chippersons are?

I'm sure the answer is "neither" but...

I don't know.  I'm not buying chips anyway, but I think I'm somewhat curious.

Suppose I could just google it...

Google says popcorn, but... I don't think they're talking about popcorn with delicious delicious butter.

Thursday, 6 November 2014

So, Yeah

So I was on my way home from Boot Camp last night (because yeah, still going, still coping, moved up a set of hand weights) and I had this whole awesome post half written in my head and it was pretty amusing and then by the time I got home (because I have to drive home from C-Dawg's house as she drives us out to the place) it was utterly gone from my mind.

So you, my dears, get this fantastic post instead! YEAH!

Um... Mom said the bites are just bites and didn't seem worried, but did tell me I HAVE to get my flu shot.  (I've been debating not getting it this year as I had it last year and still got mega sick and she said that I would have gotten even sicker so flu shot, blah)

I promised myself I wouldn't whine to you guys about the time change this year but man oh man is it ever dark.  I do get bummed about the fact that I have short, dark days to face for a while now.

Oh, I pulled something at Boot Camp last night.  Am hoping it was just a minor thing and doesn't turn into anything more but yeah...

Ok.  Not the post I'd intended but a post nonetheless.

Have a good day y'all!

Wednesday, 5 November 2014

Uh Oh

So in the continuing saga of "What time is it and why is it so dark already?" and "Why are these damn bites so itchy and weird looking?" I hung out with Jason for a bit last night.

At some point it occurred to me that it would be a good idea to have another human being tell me my bug bites weren't as weird as I thought they were so I pulled up my pant leg and showed Jason my flea bites.

"Those aren't flea bites" he said, grabbing my leg and taking a closer look.

"Have you had chicken pox?" 


"You know," he said, touching the bites, which are now red with a raised weird center that's less red "fleas don't bite like that.  That, to me, looks like something with" and before he could go any further I yelled "STOP!" because I did not want to hear the word I knew was coming next.

And then he got up and washed his hands because he'd touched my bites and maybe now I AM GOING TO DIE YOU GUYS!!!!

They're not as itchy, so I think I'll just... kinda let it go and not go to the doctor like Jason suggested.

I might, instead, go to my Mom and have her look.

And she'll probably tell me to go to the doctor too and I'll ignore her too and then the two of them can talk at my funeral about how I never listen.


PS  Stupid time change.  Seriously.

Tuesday, 4 November 2014


So something bit me.

Either something bit me twice or two things bit me once.

Generally, when I have two bites next to each other I assume it's fleas because I was told once that that's what they do.

But, whatever bit me, it's itching like a sunofabitch.  Argh.

I noticed it at some point this weekend and the anti-itch creams only do about half an hour's worth of relief.  And then they're bad again.

I've always been hyper reactive to itchy bites (one of the reasons my Mom said we couldn't have a dog...) but argh, these are no fun!

I came home from work yesterday and realized I hadn't noticed them all day (thank goodness) but as soon as I noticed them they were bad again.  I went to put more lotion on them and they're weirdly bad looking which often means I've scratched the bejeezus out of them in my sleep or something.

Either that or this is the last post I'll be making because I'm going to be dead from the poison.

But, yeah, I'm actually considering seeing if I have an antihistamine in the house to take to see if that helps because the creams are just not cutting it and I don't want to scratch a hole in my leg.

There, that was a fun story, yay!

Argh.  SO ITCHY!

Monday, 3 November 2014


Not really sure what all I have to say just at this moment.

The usual about how weird the time change is... sleep wise... and eating wise.  And light wise. 

I think the eating one is the one I noticed the most yesterday... being hungry for dinner in the middle of the afternoon and feeling like I had to force myself to wait because it was "only" such and such o'clock.

Yeah, whine whine.

I think I had something else I was going to talk about in this post but I distracted myself and realized once I got here that I didn't really know what I was going to talk about so...

How was your weekend?  Halloween? 

I'm proud of how little candy I ate and Saturday was gorgeously sunny, so that was nice.

Finally got around to watching "Outlander" which is just as enjoyable as people told me it was.  Makes me want to re-read the books and find me my own Jamie Fraser.

Saturday, 1 November 2014

It's... Tonight, Right?

The clock change thingy?

"Tonight" at 2 am which means tomorrow morning technically but that's just even more confusing and ugh... short days...

Please don't steal stuff from here, it's not nice. But leave a comment, why don't cha? And drink more water. It's good for you.

P.S. If you think you know me? You probably don't. If you're sure you know me? Pretend you don't. I'll never admit I know what you're talking about anyway.

P.P.S. All this stuff is copyright from then til now (Like, 2006-2018 and then some.) Kay? Kay.