Thursday, 31 January 2008

Oohhhhhh, Right!

I woke up this morning wondering why I'd been dreaming about Italian mob bosses flirting with me.

And then I remembered.

Wednesday, 30 January 2008

Ummmmm.... Yeah.. No.

You know, I'm just not going to ever date again.

No, really.

I have re-dipped my toe back in the dating pool and found that it's not a place I want to be. So now my toes and all the rest of me is being taken back off the shelf to live happily ever after as a single girl therefore never having to worry about changing the name of this site.

I really can't be bothered and I really don't have the emotional energy and I really can't put up with one more lame situation so I'm done.

So. Yeah. How YOU doin?

Tuesday, 29 January 2008

Another TV Crush

I want to sleep with Tommy Donnelly, but I'd settle for heavy petting.

I'm only one episode in though, so this may be a temporary crush. We'll see.

Monday, 28 January 2008

How Am I Supposed to Sleep Now?

Now you may not believe me, but that's snow falling in them thar hills.

Er. From them thar clouds.

Or somethin.

Anyway, my point is, it's a snowin!

And it may be wet and drippy, but it's snow and it's falling and they say there will be more and my hopes are high that it's just going to keep on keeping on.

Seriously. I'm not going to be able to sleep what with having to jump out of bed and check outside every ten minutes.

Updated to add: PS. Don't click on the picture to make it bigger. Trust me. It ends up looking totally creepy big. *shudder*

Tuesday morning: Nevermind. (insert sad face here)

B is for Boyfriends

I think I promised you that sometime this century soon, I'd tell you more about my ex-boyfriends. So, where to start....

Most of my boyfriends I've met through friends. Er. Maybe all of them now that I come to think of it.

Other than Smith, DD is probably the ex-boyfriend I've talked about most here. Talked most about? Talked about most? Wha? Huh?

DD, as it turned out, was in one of the many tourist industry jobs in town and a good friend of mine was working at the same place as a summer job. (Hey, you gotta pay your way through University some way, right?) At the end of the season they held a party and I went with my friend to keep her company. And possibly to drink and meet cute boys. I forget.

DD and I ended up sitting next to each other and talking as I was leaving he stopped me and asked for my number. Thus leading, later that week, to the car door kiss. Which led later to the "well it's so late, can I just sleep over?" Which led to etc. etc. Which was complicated by him leaving two months later to live on the other side of the world for nearly a year. Ahhhh long distance. How you haunt me.

Any other fascinatingly boring boyfriend stories I can tell you?

Sunday, 27 January 2008


It's so totally snowing right now and even if it only lasts for a few minutes it's awesome but just in case I'm going to go get some movies to watch because it's snowing and YAY!

Friday, 25 January 2008

I Make Television Ads For A Living

Well, ok, no. I don't. But sometimes I wish I did.

I saw this one the other day:

Lexus Ad - Moments

and thought it was sweet. A nice message.

And then it reminded me of this:

Honda TV Commercial (UK)

One of the coolest commercials I've ever seen. I mean just think; someone had to write that "music" and that choir performed it. How friggin cool is that?

I don't think I'm influenced by commercials, but I do enjoy the good ones. They're like mini-movies.

And now, I'm going to go make sound effects as I go about my day.


Thursday, 24 January 2008

Then Go Answer Your Door

It was about this time two years ago that one of the sweetest things a guy's ever done for me happened. Occurred? Took place? (Please put the appropriate words in there cuz I can't come up with them. Or maybe just scratch the whole sentence. Yeah, let's do that.)

A couple of years ago I was having a small get together of people (Otherwise known as pee-pees, for those of you playing along at home) over to celebrate my birthday with Jello shots and cake. (Holy smokes it's bad writing day today, please bear with me.)

The guy I was seeing at the time had just recently moved up to Courtenay for an excellent job opportunity and we weren't really sure how things were going to work. I'd invited him to the party but what with him working late and the three or so hour drive he just couldn't make it. I was pretty disappointed but told him I understood and that maybe we'd be able to see each other next weekend.

About nine o'clock the night of the party he called to see how things were going. I took the phone into my bedroom to avoid the teasing and cat-calling of my friends (the Jello shots were strong man!) and he told me how much he wished he could be there since it sounded like we were all having fun.

I told him we were and that he should be there too and that I missed him.

"You miss me?" he said.

"Yep." I replied, eloquent as usual.

"You wish I was there?" he asked.

"I do." I answered.

"Then go answer your door." He said and hung up the phone.

I don't think I've ever blushed so much in my entire life as I did when he showed up, completely unannounced, an utterly adorable surprise right at my door. I think I forgot my own name. We had a great time and everyone thought it was adorable and I was, apparently, the cutest wreck for a little while. (The Jello shots helped settle my nerves.)

It really was the sweetest thing and the best surprise and a wonderful gift. He was a real sweetheart and I hope he's doing well. Sometimes I forget about the good guys.

Wednesday, 23 January 2008


I have no idea how I did it, but my Mom just told me about this website where you can help donate rice.

And dudes, I managed to add a functioning button to take you right there! I'm like some kind of genius who has absolutely no idea what I'm doing but managed to do it anyway, go me!

Go check it out, kay?

Not Like Winter With No Snow*

It really has been an odd winter for me so far. And maybe by writing this I'll un-jinx myself and end up with just what I'm talking about not having. (You following? I'm trying to work reverse psychology on Mother Nature. Let's hope it confuses her too!)

Usually, by now we'll have had a couple of small snowfalls. Normally, a couple in November that don't stick, maybe one or two that does and certainly by January we'll have had a few.

This year we just keep not getting it. They keep saying we're going to get it. Some. Probably. And then we don't. It's bizarre.

I'm not going all "global warming" here because the Island is getting some snow and Vancouver is getting some snow and "higher elevations" (wherever that is) is getting some snow. Just not my Greater Victoria Regional District.

If nothing else, it's showing me what an inexact science meteorology must be. I wonder if they're shaking their heads just as much as I am.

Not that I'm completely giving up hope. Spring's still a little ways off and I do remember a couple of March flurries a few years back.

Just in case (and yes, I did research on this just for you) let's all wear our pj's inside out, put white crayons in our freezers, flush ice down the toilet and sleep with spoons under our pillows.

Oh, and we may as well cross our fingers while we're at it, no?

*A slight twisting of a song from one of my favourite seasonal movies that I somehow didn't get around to watching this year.

Tuesday, 22 January 2008

I'm incredibly shocked by Heath Ledger's death. It makes me very sad and I'm surprised by that.

Don't really want to talk about it. I just wanted to say it. Young people shouldn't die.

Lost in Translation

In my mind "I'll be done by seven" means "I'll call you around seven."

Apparently it means something completely different in guy speak?

Monday, 21 January 2008

True Story

There was a boy in my high school who could undo your bra by snapping his fingers right up against the strap in the middle of your back. Through your clothes. Which was really embarrassing because it meant you'd have to grab your "girls" and run to the nearest washroom to re-hook.

No, I don't know why this thought suddenly popped into my head either.

Friday, 18 January 2008

Relationships Are Confusing

Dear Victoria,


Yours sincerely,
Your back

Dear Back,

Where did that come from?

With all sorts of respect and alternating heat and ice,

Dear Victoria,

If I have to tell you, obviously you don't love me enough.

Your back

My dearest Back,

I do love you, I just, in all honesty, have no idea what I did, or possibly, didn't do and would really appreciate it if you would just tell me so that I can avoid repeating whatever it is I did, unknowingly, to hurt you. We're a good team and I think we should work through things together.

Your biggest fan,


You're sleeping on the couch tonight. Just don't even talk to me.


Thursday, 17 January 2008

And Light

Sometimes it's like we walk around with the shadows of our past relationships hanging over us, setting us up to fear things that haven't even happened yet, somehow inviting them to happen so that we can be proved right.

Maybe we need to remember some of the good things we got out of those relationships instead of focussing so hard on the "bad" things.

My past relationships have taught me so much that I need to remember.

I also like to think that each one that ends is bringing me that much closer to the one that won't.

Shadows aren't dark without the light. It just takes time, sometimes, and distance, to remember and see.

Wednesday, 16 January 2008

C is for Candy and C is for Chocolate

I've been thinking a lot lately about candy and chocolate. Chocolate more so, since it's one of my favourite things. I used to go through chocolate phases and while OHenry has recently moved back into my hall of love, for a while there it was all about Caramilk thick. (Which, despite what they might try to tell you, does not taste the same as the smaller bars, it tastes BETTER!) I should also give out honourable mentions to M&M's peanut (and on a very rare occasion peanut butter), and milk chocolate Hershey's bar (which I've only ever found in the States or Mexico). And if you open up a box of chocolates? I call dibs on the orange creams.

In the "no thank you" pile, I'd have to put Coffee Crisp and black liquorice.

As for candy? I'm not sure I'd say I have a favourite, but I do tend to enjoy Starburst/Skittles type things. And, Grape flavoured candies are the best, orange second, and banana or watermelon flavours aren't even worth trying. I'll usually skip over lemon and lime too. Soda bottles are good, but only in large size and... bubble gum flavoured gum.

But if you really want to win me over? Fry's Cream Bar or Cadbury's Cream Egg.


*drifts off into sugary dreamland*

And did you know that Smarties here aren't the same as Smarties in the US? And did you know that if you get them from the UK, the orange ones have the most delectable flavour?

(PS. I know I'm out of order with the alphabet thang. I do have a "B" post out there, it's just not finished. Yet.)

Tuesday, 15 January 2008


I like this time of year.

And maybe I say that every season, but it's true. I like this time of year.

There were a bunch of pretty sunsets and then these awesome windstorms, and should we be lucky enough to get some snow, that's always awesome too.

I'm lucky that I don't have to spend much (if any) of my day out in the wild rain and weather so I get to admire it from inside. Especially in the evenings when I curl up under my blanket and drink hot drinks.

Winter's good and January's good.

It's all good, really.

What's the best part of Winter for you? (Or Summer, if that's where ye be.)

Monday, 14 January 2008

Help Me Out Here

It's ok to have a total crush on characters from a tv show, right?

Even if they're in a show set in a high school?

Saturday, 12 January 2008

Say What?

They asked me if I knew where they were supposed to be and I held up my list and said

"No, I only have a list of my pee pees"

Which, really, isn't what I meant at all.

I didn't even have to go to the bathroom. It's just that I meant to say "people", but my brain thought "peeps" and somehow my mouth came up with "pee pees".

I had to walk away because there was really nothing else to say.

I'm still laughing every time I think about it.

Friday, 11 January 2008


For your viewing pleasure and unending amusement, I'm going to share with you with some of the lovely emails I got in my inbox over the last week. I can't decide which of the last two's my favourite, really.

And let us begin. Like a so:

She'll beg for more. "Why settle for what you have?"
Yeah, why settle for what you have? Wait... who... me? Who's this "she" and what's she going to be begging for anyway?

BIG CAS1N0 Party BIG JACKPOT CA$H DOLLARS!! "Your Winnings! Are waiting!"
Um, ok, but I don't know how to play poker and the one time I went to a casino I was both creeped out and bored. But I'll take my winnings if they're just sitting there waiting for me, thanks.

Few inches longer? "Don't settle for less"
My hair? You can grow it a few inches longer? Sweet!

Esoogzya "After taking VPXL, I can have sex all night long
OK, awesome. I'm happy for you. I'll be asleep, so maybe call me when you're done? (By the way, we're talking about eating the consonants from Alphaghetti, right?)

How about the best service around? "Play your favorite games from the comfort of your home, USA players ARE included!"
Awww, shucks, I'm not in the USA and I so wanted to play Cranium!

FDA Pharmcy Online! - 75-90% OFF! "Buy Viagra Now!"
Nah, I'm good thanks. PS. You spelled Pharmacy wrong.

Perfectly crafted exclusive watches rolex "Perfectly crafted luxury timepieces...the finest of products at the LOWEST prices!!"
And just when I was looking for a new watch!

Super-sized one-eyed monster will live in your pants in New Year! "Check our amazing proposition now!"
A super sized one eyed monster? Awesome! Can I name him whatever I want? And pet him?

Don't turn up your nose at this offer unless you're real hung! " Don't you think it's derogatory, when they call your male stick a "baby carrot"?" Wait, hung as in dead old-west style? I'm not sure how that'd do any of us any good really.

Thursday, 10 January 2008

Don't Mention the War *

Oh hey y'all. Just thought you'd like to know what I saw in the store today.

Easter candy.

That's right.

January 10th. Easter's a comin!

Hippity hop hop, that means I don't have to do Valentine's day. Yay!


Updated Jan. 21st to add:

I just bought my first Cadbury's Creme Egg of the year. Hey, if they're selling them, I figure I should buy some before they run out. Or some other such logic.

Yes, I feel a little dirty when I think about how fast I ate it.

No, I waited 'til I was home. I wanted to eat it in the car though.

Internal Dominoes


I've sat staring at that word there for a while now not really sure how to continue... things are... things right now.... so many things. Things.

For the most part, I try to keep my bad stuff away from here. I feel that if I tell people...the world out there, the things that are bothering me or upsetting me, all I'm really doing is sharing negative energy, sharing negativity. Not adding anything good to the world.

But there also comes a point where not sharing the bad things becomes just not sharing. And that's where I seem to have stuck myself lately. Just not sharing. I need to. You can stop reading now, visit the places that make you happy, this isn't one of those places today. Tomorrow perhaps, but not today.

A while ago, I kind of mentioned there was something going on with my stomach. There still is, and we (being the Doctor and I) haven't figured out yet what it is.

I've been having tests and so far we know that it's not an ulcer.

Which, to be honest, is what I was hoping for. See, a stomach ulcer, as painful as it can be, is curable. Treatable. Diagnosable. An "easy" fix, so to speak. Take these pills, don't drink for a while, learn to relax. But I don't seem to have that.

All I know is that I'm in pain most of the day, which really sucks. I've also had to learn a few things over the past few months.

I've learned that food can quickly become your worst enemy, which is hard when it's what you're supposed to use to nourish yourself and I've learned that when you can't drink people ask you if you're pregnant and I've learned that whenever you mention to someone that you have some kind of health problem they've often had something worse themselves. Or they know someone who has. (As my Dad said, everyone likes to "out misery" the next guy. ) I've also learned that popping Pepto-Bismol and Gaviscon for months on end is probably a sign that your body is trying to tell you something.

I'm just not sure what.

I'm anxious now that since the answer hasn't been the simple one, it's going to be something more difficult to live with. What do they call it? Chronic. Something that you learn to manage but that never goes away.

It's tough. I fight the battle in my head all the time "other people have it worse", "suck it up", "get on with things". But, dude, it's no longer a matter of maintaining the status quo, physically, it's now a matter of trying to get through one day at a time without feeling worse than I did this time yesterday.

Not a battle I'm currently winning.

The title of this post comes from the feeling I have that I'm this dangerously balanced thing right now. Everything's so connected, and everything's so hard. One tiny little thing can set off this cascade of problems and it's the most backwards type of feeling. Imagine those guys who set up those massive domino courses but every time they got near the end of setting it up they did something, even accidentally, that knocked it over. So they'd start to set it up again. But somehow it gets cascaded again. And again. And again. Days and days of it over and over, never really sure what was going to cause the first domino to wobble, never entirely sure if the next thing was going to undo everything all over again.

You get the idea.

Physical health, our bodies, are so amazing. So much of how we function is interconnected. So when there's a bad day that leads into a sleepless night, that may mean the next days going to be worse. And when things are starting to feel a little bit better and I just want to have a little fun like I used to be able to, say maybe some good food, it can throw me off for weeks. Everything cascades. Which is hard on me mentally, which makes it harder to sleep. Which means the next days are going to be rough, which means things that might not have set me off the day before might which means..etc...etc.

So there's a lot going on. The knots in my stomach I've always felt, the worries and emotions and fears I've always "stuffed down" have become literal. They've manifested themselves physically.

I'm going to have to change. Maybe everything.

So that's where I'm at.


I don't know what those things are, but they're there, and right now they're hard to get away from.

Pain's like that. Physical or emotional.

Here's hoping healing one will heal the other.

It's all inter-related you know. I just need the strength to do it.

Wednesday, 9 January 2008

Besides a Pony and a Puppy

What's something you always wanted for Christmas or your birthday but never got as a kid?

Me? I always wanted an Easy Bake Oven.

I'm not sure why. Probably the lure of treats.

Tuesday, 8 January 2008

It Was All A Bad Dream Spinning In Your Head

I've been having some pretty intense dreams lately, what with the wacky sleeps and all the emotions that fly around at this time of year and stuff.

The last few ones I've remembered have been about Smith. Or, at least, a Smith-like character. (You know how in dreams you know who the person is even if it's not quite them? Yeah. That.)

In the one last night the transport hover train he was in (with the Forces) crashed but he and this girl (kind of me) survived and had to walk through the forest away from it. And then we had to sneak into a hotel but when we did I became him and he became the girl and we couldn't find a room and the hotel was scary.

I know, it may not sound like much, but trust me, it was one of those hideous nightmares that you just want to be over even though at the time you don't know it's a dream. Actually, all of these have been that intense. And hard to break out of.

Around Christmas time I had a dream where Smith showed up unannounced at my house. Well, my awesome mansion actually! And he brought a litter of kittens and a bunch of girls who were all trying out for his show which was like a combo of evil-Bachelor and Next Top Model. The girls were all teenage versions of the nasty girls I went to highschool with and Smith had brought them on purpose knowing they'd be mean to me and dude, they were. All blonde and leggy and mean mean girls.

And then there was the weird one (as if the others weren't weird enough) where we were on a ship travelling through the Arctic (but the Arctic with trees, this beautiful place) and when we went outside so I could take some photos of the scenery, this massive rogue wave appeared and knocked us over and we barely made it back inside the ship and then the whole thing sunk.

Bad, bad, bad, they've all been bad. And to be frank, I'm a little tired of dreams that are less than restful.

I'm getting better at leaving them behind, but the ones with a Smith-esque person seem to stick with me longer than most. Good ol' subconscious eh?

I guess I hope he's ok, but my brain's sure as heck letting me know that it thinks being with Smith isn't a good thing for me.

I get it brain. Now how 'bout some happy dreams, kay?

Queensryche - Silent Lucidity

Monday, 7 January 2008

January Follows December With A Month Of Rain *

Well, actually, around here lately, it's been more like a month of wind.

And, yes, I'm aware that January is merely beginning and that, yes, it has been raining, but dude. The wind? Has been awesome.

It's funny, it seems as if everyone around us has been getting some snow. (My girlfriend on the mainland even got a white Christmas!) But we just keep missing it. Or it keeps missing us. The wind however, has been a really regular visitor, and one I quite like. Wind is exciting and energizing and in the best of situations, power outaging. (Come on, y'all know they're fun when they're just long enough to let you get all cozy under blankets and use candles to play board games just before bed, right?)

So, yes, there may be rain, but I've hardly noticed it for all the wind.


Sunday, 6 January 2008

A Summary of My Dating History



Saturday, 5 January 2008

Les Choses

I had a gift certificate for the book store so I swung by the mall to pick me up a new book. I was surprised by how many people were there trying to find a parking spot.

Writing is a habit, one that I'm not really in anymore. The good news is that the stories are coming back into my head. Now I just have to get myself to sit down and write them out. Why is it so easy to start a bad habit but not a good one?

This week's been a little mentally hectic. More on that later, maybe. For now I'm completely hooked to the first season of Heroes. I'm even dreaming it.

They lowered the GST (that's one of our taxes). I don't really have much to say about that.

I'm craving a sesame seed bagel right now.

What do you do to calm your mind?

I am exactly here right now:

Friday, 4 January 2008

It's Like a Horoscope. But Funnier!

So, hey, I completely stole this from Celebrate Woo-Woo!

I hope you enjoy reading it as much I did hers. At the very least, you'll get to see some of what I've got in my music library.

Here's what I gone and done
1. Put iTunes on shuffle so that random songs come up.
2. Pressed play.
3. Wrote down each song as the answer to each question as it came up.
4. Laughed hysterically at times and nodded wisely at others.

Q. What would best describe your personality?
A. I Found A Reason (Cat Power)
OK, sure. As in... I found a reason to do something? To live? To be? *shrug*

Q. If some one says it's okay you say...
A. Ramalama Bang Bang (Roisin Murphy)
Hmmmmm, right. Not sure I've ever said that in conversation, but maybe it's the thought that counts?

Q. What do you like in a guy?
A. Hallelujah (Jeff Buckley)

Q.How do you feel today?
A. Closer to Fine (Indigo Girls)
Fair enough. True dat.

Q.What is your life's purpose?
A. These Eyes (The Guess Who)
Oooooh, deep man. Just... not sure what that means. It'd be awesome if I was an optometrist though and this came up, no?

Q. What is your motto?
A. Embryonic Journey (Jefferson Airplane)
Ok, yeah, if by "embryonic" you mean safe and happy and warm...

Q. What do your friends think of you?
A. Sunshine (Handsome Boy Modelling School)
Well I hope so anyway! Actually, one of my good friends calls me this as a nickname. *beam*

Q. What do you think of your friends?
A. A Whiter Shade of Pale (Procol Harem)
I'm not sure if this is a statement of race or the fact that... uh... I don't know. Maybe we all need a little more sunshine?

Q. What do you think of your parents?
A. Girl (Beatles)
OK, yeah, I have no idea here. I don't have two Mommies. Not that there's anything wrong with that.

Q.What do your parents think of you?
A. Cruising Together (Hewey Lewis and Gwenyth Paltrow)
We're going on a cruise? Sweet! Oh, or maybe we're just cruising through life together. Maybe that's it.

Q. What do you think about very often?
A. Beat Me (Magnet)
I just have nothing to say here.

Q. What do you think of your best friend(s)?
A. Head over Feet (Alanis Morissette)
I do love my best friends, that's true. And they do help me try to stay sane when I go all loopy over silly guys.

Q. What do you think of the person you love?
A. Yet Another Movie (Pink Floyd)
I'm not even sure who this'd be referring to. Maybe I want my love stories to be like movies? I'm not currently in love with anyone besides myself. (Awwwwwwwww, that's so cute!)

Q.What is your life story?
A. I Am Ready For Love (India Arie)
I am?

Q. What do you want to be when you grow up?
A. Goldfinger (Shirley Bassey)
So damn true.

Q. What do you think when you see the person you love?
A. Never Tear Us Apart (INXS)
Yeah, I do think that.

Q. What is your hobby/interest?
A. Let's Get It On (Marvin Gaye)
Oh my lord, I'm so embarrassed right now.

Q. What will they play at your funeral?
A. Grave Digger (Dave Matthews)
Good choice. Poignant and appropriate.

Q. What is your biggest secret?
A. Easy Lover (Spain)
Again with the embarrassment.
*slinks off*

Thursday, 3 January 2008

Please Sing This Off Key To An Opera Type Song Of Your Making

La la laaaaaaa!
I am not sleeping
Because I can not!


Even though it is three am.

It is my own fault too
I knew better than to sleep in so late

As in
In the afternoon

(Oy vey)

So now
ow ow owwwwwwww
I'm awake
and so is a bird.

I thought I'd get up and write posts for you oooo oooooo
but they're all stuck inside
my brain.

or what's left of it.

mushy like.

So ta da! Instead.... a psychedelic sunset for you
(holy smokes
I can't believe
I spelled that right)

Let's all hope I can get
an acupuncture appointment
So that I can sleep. I like to sleep. Oh yes I do!

(insert heavy metal guitar screeching solo here while banging head)

*Victoria bows to wild applause*

Tuesday, 1 January 2008

Bad Idea, This

I'm watching a scary movie and every time I mumble "stupid girl" I don't know if I'm talking about the girl in the movie who knows better than to do that or if I'm talking about myself, for watching it all alone in the evening when there's no daylight out!


How's your New Year going so far?
Please don't steal stuff from here, it's not nice. But leave a comment, why don't cha? And drink more water. It's good for you.

P.S. If you think you know me? You probably don't. If you're sure you know me? Pretend you don't. I'll never admit I know what you're talking about anyway.

P.P.S. All this stuff is copyright from then til now (Like, 2006-2018 and then some.) Kay? Kay.