The gym I choose to go to is very low key. I'm not a fan of the "meat-head" type muscle guys, and my gym has fewer of them than others. Plus, any of the really muscle-type guys work out in a different area than I do so I'm happy. And un-testosteroned.
That being said, there is another type of gym goer I've noticed. I don't know if it happens at other gyms at well, but I've seen it enough at mine that I've named it. I call it the Gym Couple.
The Gym Couple is an interesting phenomenon. Allow me to help you identify this species...
The male of the Gym Couple is buff. Almost too buff. He is proud of his muscles and wears very tight t-shirts or shirts of a shiny material that show off his muscles. He doesn't appear to sweat and has hair that is styled and short. Possibly highlighted. He may wear glasses, but they, like his outfit will be fashionable and probably expensive. His outfit is most likely completed with black pants and runners of some sort. He firmly believes he is (as the kids these days say)
all that and a bag of chips. He may, indeed, be attractive, but the attitude and outfit work against him. Big time. Especially the attitude.
The female of the Gym Couple is not particularly buff. Her figure will vary from petite to slender with large bresteses. The figure, however, is not as important as the attire. The female will be wearing a very expensive and matching outfit. In this town, there is a 98% chance that her top will be from lululemon
More than this expensive, spaghetti strap, very low cut, brightly coloured top and black bottom combo is.... the rest. The most noticeable feature of the female G.C. is that she will be fully made up. Usually wearing more makeup than I'd wear on a date. Or a photoshoot, were I a world class model under heavy lighting. Along with her full makeup she will also be tanned and have long acrylic nails. The nails, though, will usually be french manicured as she is a sporty, natural type girl.
If you are not sure you have spotted a Gym Couple watch them for a while. After two or three minutes of observation, you will notice the female approaching the male and asking him for some sort of pointer or advice on using the machines or lifting the weights. He will show her how much he can lift and how she should do it. He will then do an extra set of reps in front of her while explaining what he is doing. The female will then retreat back to her own area for five or six minutes while the male lifts or pushes around a lot of heavy things and grunts in a way that makes you realize you now know what he sounds like when they're having sex. (Which, really, isn't a thought I appreciate being put in my head.
Now, all joking aside, I do have to say that there are other lovely, sweet, fit, happy and healthy couples at the gym. There are also couples who are there helping each other get fit and healthy and I love to see that too. I just have never seen the point of wearing makeup to exercise in when you're supposed to be there to sweat and get stinky and not worry about being gorgeous. But maybe that's just me. I'm not using the gym as a potential pick up spot and if and when I find my Mr. Perfect, I hope he doesn't mind if we go to the gym separately, or if while we're there we pretend we don't know each other. Because really, I won't have my glasses
on to see if he's winking at me anyway.
I don't hate the Gym Couple. I wish them well. They just make me feel a little uncomfortable. I just think there are other gyms more suitable for them.
It's like going to a zoo in Texas or somewhere else really hot and seeing a polar bear lounging on concrete in the sun. It just seems out of place.
Maybe I could start a rehabilitation program? Send them back to their natural environment? I could call it Help Send All Gym Couples Back To Gold's : HSAGCBTG.
Hmmm, that's not a great acronym. Not catchy enough for a phone campaign. I'll keep working on it.*Lululemon is such a craze right now that my friend and I made up a game around it. It was like punchbuggy, (where you get to punch the other person when you see a Volkswagen Bug go by.) but this was LululemonPunch. We had to stop after five minutes in a Starbucks in North Van because our arms and legs were getting bruised.