Mew

Well of COURSE I had plans to spend my Sunday afternoon writing posts, I did!

But then my friends I don't see enough called and wanted to know if I was free to hang out so I did that instead.  So I'm happy, and tired and blog post-less.

But I do still remember my bad dream from yesterday morning so that's what I'll mumble about!

So in this dream (which was what I call a "stress" dream... as in it feels so stressful it wakes me up) I had four small cats.  Two were young and the other two were little kittens.  So like four kittens, but two super young kittens (if that makes sense... like two teens and two baby cats... anyway...)

So I had these cats and I kept them in a compartmentalized travel case.  Like, the type of cat carrier to use to take them to the vet or something but this one had four little apartments and was lit up inside.  (I don't know, my brain just makes this stuff up!)

I had this little routine with them down pat.  I'd take them out, feed them (yum, yum happy kitties!) and then put them back into the carrier for nap time.  Then they'd come out later, and play, and I'd make sure they didn't go downstairs (and get lost, duh).  Then I did this over four days (in the dream) and it was so much fun and adorable and I was so happy.

And then I realized I hadn't been letting them poop (?)  Like there was nowhere for them to go and so they hadn't (I'm not quite sure on that part just that I realized they hadn't pooped in the four days I'd had them) AND, I hadn't been giving them water, just the food.  Oh crap!

So I was suddenly scared and worried that they were going to get sick or maybe already were, so I went to ask for help and the first lady I asked was like this "snobby, rich" lady who was sort of a step mom or something to me ? and she just looked down her nose at me and said "I do not like cats." So that was no help.  Then I went to ask my friend who I knew would know but she was at a big, fancy dinner party and I felt so bad interrupting but I did, but then she was flustered and I was so upset that I woke up.

I figure the dream was less about the cats and more about me feeling like I'm not doing well at something and maybe that I'm missing something important almost by accident and that there's no one willing to help me fix the problem.  Or, you know, something along those lines.  Because yeah, I don't have a cat.  Or four.

And also, apparently, I never should because I forget things like water and pooping!

Hope you had a nice weekend!

Uh

So, when I woke up this morning, the first thought that popped into my head was "faraday cage" and I honest to goodness have absolutely no idea why.

Like, really...

Ahhhhhhhhh

I actually slept last night.  I think it may have been in no small part due to the fact that it was a normal temperature.

I was actually excited to be able to use my comforter and not just a sheet!

Man is a good night's sleep ever a game changer, eh?

With Regards To The Heat

If I could, I would marry the tiny breeze that is every so once in a while sneaking in through my window.

I would marry it SO hard.

(PS  It's hot here)

Ever After

When I was little (so you know, not that long ago cuz clearly I'm not ALL that old!!!) I used to wish upon shooting stars that I would "live happily ever after".

I know, I'm not supposed to tell my wish or else it won't come true, but I think that wish was generic enough I'm safe.  I try to make them more specific these days...

When I was very young, I think that meant what I saw around me.  My parents; raising kids, having a great house and yard, going camping, being happy together married.

I remember going to a lot of weddings when I was a kid and thinking that this was a big yes for me.  The outfits, the ceremony, the food and cake!  And always with that sense of "happily ever after".

I remember watching Princess Diana's wedding and more than anything wanting that train.  I think I knew I'd probably not marry a prince (although who knows?) but that I could probably still have a super long train on my eventual wedding dress. 

I think for most of my life that idea of being a married person was what I wanted to give me that happily ever after.  I mean, that's what happened to all the fairy tale (and Disney) princesses, wasn't it?  "Saved" by the gorgeous man (prince!) and whisked off to a rich, easy, filled with dreamy love life?!

I went to a fair number of weddings when I was not a kid too.  Friends.  And for a time, friends of friends.  I remember at one point thinking to myself "I'm going to have to invite all these people to my wedding, just to get a gift back from them, geez!" because it was always such an expensive thing.

The last two weddings I've attended I was in the bridal party.  It was awesome and wonderful to be able to support my friends on the day they declared just how much they loved their chosen partner.

I've got a lot of solid marriages in my life.  And a few divorces too.  But I'm happy for everyone who is happy in their marriage.  And my "choose not to get married" friends.  They're happy too.

My dreams are more specific these days, although "happily ever after" is still something I will go for, for sure!

A wedding is no longer something I feel like I want to spend a whole lot of hard earned money on, and at this point, there isn't even necessarily going to be one.  Who knows.

I'm not sure what got me thinking about weddings today.  It just kind of happened.  I don't think I'll be having a train like Princess Diana had.  I doubt I'll be getting married in a chapel.  Or to a prince.  I guess we'll see what the future brings.  If anything.  Or anyone.

Ugh...

And now it's Monday night (as I type this) and I'm exhausted and drained and do not have the brainpower to even think about what I might post about.

Have a good Tuesday.... I'll try to sit down and write some soon.

Before

My life right now feels like it has a "before" and an "after".

A time when something happened..... changed... and nothing has been quite the same since.

Before, I used to write a week's worth of blog posts on a Sunday and let them post throughout the week.  I liked doing that a lot.

I would sometimes write other times as well, but by the end of the night Sunday, I knew I could relax and that the storytelling would happen throughout the week and I'd just keep an eye on comments and make mental notes on what I might want to talk about the next time I sat down to write.

Well, after.... that didn't happen anymore.  Because I couldn't write about almost anything.  Because I didn't want to write about a lot of things.  Most notably, "the" thing.

I'm sure I've hinted at it or mumbled my way through attempted secretive tellings of and around it but one thing's for certain, I got out of my habit of weekend writing.

So here I am, Sunday night.  Having had the intention to spend part of today writing out a week's worth of posts but inspiration did not happen.  The muse is still on a smoke break.  Or something.  All expenses paid trip to the sub Saharan desert, I don't know.  So I'm probably going to have to do some forcing or pushing of myself until I can break through that lack.  That block.  That missing.

I've been waiting for things to go back to normal.  But it's been a long long time and it may be that "normal" isn't coming back.

At least not in a way I recognize.

But the long days are here, and that is giving me so much.

So much.

Oh!

Yesterday I was over at a friend's place and they had some other friends over and those friends had a young child.

When I arrived, and was introduced, said child (five? years old?) came over and gave me a big hug.  Awwwww!  And as I was "awww-ing" and feeling all sweet, I asked "and what's your name?" as I was returning the hug.

An adult started to answer me, so I released the hug and looked over at them, at which point the child lifted up the bottom of my shirt ALL THE WAY and leaned in to kiss my belly.

I stammered "oh, no thank you!" or something like that while backing away and let me just say I didn't expect for my friends to see my bra, nor did I expect for my belly to be exposed or kissed that day!

Said child was reminded that "we use high fives to say hello" so I have to guess that this is not a new thing.  It was cute, and would have been even cuter had I known it was coming.... (or had I not been in a room of people I didn''t know all that well and would rather not have had my bare stomach and bra-clad boobs exposed to!)  But hey, kids are gonna be kids, eh?

Not Even In A Bad Dream!

I had a stress dream the other night that had me in a "huge" fight with C-Dawg.  (I assume the fight had been going on a while, I only got there for the end of it!)  And I was so angry in this dream that I was ending our friendship.

So I looked at her, and I yelled, "I am DONE with you and this friendship, you are always so"  and then in the dream I paused.  Because I couldn't think of anything!

Which then woke me up because it was both so cute and funny.  So, yeah... not even in a nightmare can I get annoyed enough with her to come up with a bad thing about her.  Yay!

Oh!?

I thought of something the other night (and then fell asleep and forgot about it for a couple of days) (Oh, and by the way I am typing this with a giant band-aid on my finger from a tin can papercut and I can't seem to get "t" without also hitting "g" so argh).

I realized that while I maybe can't speed up my flickr process (of reducing/saving photos) maybe I CAN put photos back up on the blog!

I would be repeating already used photos but I'm not sure anyone would complain about that, so it was probably just me not wanting to that was the issue.

So yeah... I was lying there trying to fall asleep and some part of my brain went "hey, why not just re use the photos you're taking down from flickr"?  Like, yeah.... why not?  Because someone might be upset that they saw that photo already?  Hmmm... well that's maybe not even something that would happen so... hey, maybe if I want photos for pretty making, I can use old ones on repeat!

I might just do that.  You can send a letter to management if you need to complain.

Hermit Accomplishments

We're in June now and that means the start of ALL THE THINGS season.  There were a ton of events this weekend and even some that I've gone to before but that totally sprung up on me this year and plus I just kind of wanted to take care of myself and not do much, you know?

So I didn't.  I didn't GO anywhere and I didn't DO anything.  Not outside of the house, anyway.

I mean, I dusted and vacuumed/swept and I cleaned baseboards and wiped them down... not everywhere but the places that really needed it.  I tidied, I dishwashered (made that word up!) and, well, that's more than enough for a quiet weekend.

So it's this funny feeling of like "I didn't do anything this weekend" but I also kind of did.  Just... not outside of my own space.

People

A)  Holy crap it's June!

B)  I'm so interested in things about people.  But just kind of little details.  And I really want to know these things but I don't want to ask. 

Like for example, one of my neighbours comes home every night around 10:30.  I know because her car alarm has a particular beep to it.  I totally want to know why?  Does she work very very long shifts?  Work hours away?  Go to visit a parent?  Work two jobs (because she's gone by 8 each morning)?  And why is it so consistent?  WHAT IS HAPPENING!!!!???

It's little things like that that I'm so curious about. 

I just want little insights into their stories, you know?

Nature

I have a request of nature.

If I'm to be woken at who knows what o'clock by animals fighting (? or... making babies?)  I would appreciate if they could identify themselves.

See, at some point Wednesday night... yes, the night I was so exhausted I put myself to bed like a child, I was awoken by snarling.

You know, the snarling of something fighting (ahem?)

I'm generally pretty good at figuring out when it's cats (they have a particular yowl) or raccoons (because they're pretty common) but whatever it was would go snarl, snarl, snarl and then make a sound like, I swear, a guinea pig.  So like that high pitched... REEEEEEEEEEEEE!

So not only was I woken up by the fighting... but then my brain was like what on earth is making that noise?

I didn't want to open my eyes and get up to see if I could see but once they stopped I would have appreciated it if they'd announced "hi, we're 'possums, have a good rest of your night!" or something.

(I've never actually seen a possum but I also have no other guesses as to what might have made that noise...)

Pre Tantrum

I am writing this at 9:30 last night (cuz I'm setting this to post in the morning) but I just had to get off the phone because I felt like I was an over-tired five year old about to have a tantrum.

I actually said to Jason (who I was on the phone with) that I was sorry I was being grumpy and that I was going to get off the phone now before it got worse.  He said "well, I hope you have a good sleep" and y'all?  I'm not exaggerating, I yelled "I NEED IT!"

I must have startled him because he paused and said "sorry, what?"  And I yelled back at him "I NEED A GOOD SLEEP!"

And then I stopped myself and said that yeah, it was really time to get off the phone now and I really do feel like if I was five... or three... I was in that over tired space of being moments away from a tantrum.

I mean, I was yelling about needing sleep.... so, you know... maybe more sleep is needed?

Science!

A while ago, I mentioned that they installed new windows in our building.

The windows are still awesome and the bug screens amazing, yay!

I also learned an interesting thing... well ok, maybe not THAT interesting but still!

I noticed that when I close my blinds at night, they bash against the new windows if there's a wind.

But only if I turn them one way!

As in... if I turn them so that the slats (horizontal blinds) turn... "up"wards, no issue, but if I turn them "down"wards, bash bash bash!

I dunno, I think it's kind of interesting.  And while the "noisy" way blocks more light, if I notice it's windy in the evening, I now make sure to turn them the other way.

I'm sure I could investigate and tell you the actual reason behind it, but instead let's just say "science" and wave our hands like it's magic!  *science*

Halp!

I apologize in advance if you pick up on what I'm about to whine about but I've had Shania Twain's "You're Still The One" stuck in my head for close to a week now and it's ANNOYING!

I mean, I don't hate the song or anything, I'm pretty neutral about it (although I probably liked it when it came out I figure?) but I have no idea why it got into my head or why it won't go away!

It was replaced for a small while yesterday afternoon by "Have Yourself A Merry Little Christmas" which wasn't much better and way way out of season, but yeah.  I have no idea if I heard one or both of these songs on a tv show or something because I can't think of another reason for them to have gotten so stuck in my head!

Sigh.... you're still the one y'all. 

Argh!

I accidentally helped a friend mow their jungle of a back yard yesterday.

I say "accidentally" because it was not planned... which I say because I didn't have "proper gear."

I mention this because I had a short sleeved shirt on and while I was weed whacking, I got "hit" by little bits of grass and stuff, duh.

But I say "argh" in the title because even after a shower I was still itchy and that was not a happy making feeling.

I'm not allergic to grass, never have been, and I'm not willing to pick up a new allergy now but man oh man that was not fun y'all!  GAH! 

(My friend did give me an allergy pill with dinner which seemed to help so phew)

You Know...

One of the benefits that comes from journalling (and yes, this blog is a journal - a personal online diary, not a fiction) is that sometimes you write something and as or after you write it you get an aha moment.

I had one of those yesterday.

As in I wrote what I wrote.  And then I finished writing it, and what I had said hit me like a ton of bricks.

I've been feeling so very unsettled.  And then I realized the why of it.  And I felt like "duh" and "holy crap" all at the same time.  I've been debating ever since about continuing to write about it, in the hopes it would give me more clarity.  Or peace.  Even if it meant knocking holes in the privacy wall I've put up.  Even if it meant exposing things I've been told it's better not to.  I dunno.

I'm also (unrelated...) half way through the year of flickr pro I bought in order to control the dumping of nearly a thousand photos flickr's new owners will do if I stay with a free account.  

I honestly really miss having photos on this blog.  I liked the visual.  I liked having an image break up the text from day to day.  But I don't want future dead links.  So I've stopped using photos, and haven't really figured out what to do going forward, image wise.

Now, cleaning up my photo collection is not a high priority but I do make time here and there and even having put a good few hours into it, I haven't really made a dent.  I don't want to pay for the pro account again but I'm aware I may have to.  I still think some grandfathering would have been nice, but I also understand they're running their business in the way they feel is best.  I just think since I used flickr in a slightly different way (to link to blog posts), I'm outside of their normal user sphere.

It is what it is, but I'm not making the progress I'd like to be making.  And, no, I don't have the skills to make a bot to do it for me, although I'm sure someone else could!

Oh, Life

(cue R.E.M.)

Life is so life-y and lately I've been wanting and wishing that I could pause, or reset or, I think I even said at one point that I'd like to put this book down and start another.  You know, change the channel to a "better" show?

Like I get it doesn't work that way.  Jason suggested upending everything and moving away and starting all over again but that's not me.  That's not the book I want to start.

I guess it's partly wanting to not be sick anymore.  Or do I say "unwell"?  It's partly, or maybe mainly due to my life being currently unsettled, SO unsettled by my unwell-ness and how that affects work/not work and just nothing is settled really... and maybe that's messing with me more than I realize.

I know, I know, you don't really know what's going on or where I'm at, I KNOW this because I haven't shared it, but I mean, ugh.  I'd like to use a melon baller to scoop out the parts of my mind I don't want anymore.  Nice and clean and tidy and only the good stuff left, please and thank you.

But, hey, it's the weekend.  Let's enjoy it shall we?

So Tired

Last night, in the middle of the night, in the middle of me being dead asleep, a car alarm went off.

Now usually when a car alarm goes off I might wake up, hear that it's far enough away and go back to sleep. 

This time, I woke up, and it took a while to process, but it was a very near car alarm.  As in, it might be MY car alarm.  Crud.

So it's 3 am and I was dead asleep so my thinking is not all that.... good.  But I look out the window and my car is not flashing, so it's not my car alarm.  But this doesn't actually register with my brain apparently (and the car alarm is super loud and super still going off) so I go into the hallway and grab my keys and I go to the window and I beep my car.  Because an alarm is going off.  But then I realize that I might have unlocked my car so I beep it locked.  But then I'm confused because I can't remember if I opened it or locked it and I don't actually want to make more beeping noises because there's already a lot of noise going off and hopefully I just locked my car?  But now my adrenaline is going and then the neighbour's car alarm gets shut off and I'm all aflutter but like, ok, I think my car is locked now???

I put the keys back and lie back down in bed and then I hear my neighbour come out so I get back up to peek out and he's, I guess checking to see why his alarm went off (which, geez, that didn't even occur to me! seriously...) and so I go back to bed but of course my body is all like WE WERE PANICKING BECAUSE WE WERE ASLEEP! and I was on like hyper alert to noises and I don't think I actually really slept at all the rest of the night and I just am so so tired.

I say no thank you to car alarms at three in the morning right outside.  No thank you!

Sky Confusion

Yesterday was COOOOOOLD (comparatively) but I was hoping for a week of rain to help against future dry/fire stuff happening, but now it's apparently going to be HOTTTTTT by this weekend and, well, all I know is that I love love love these longer days.  I so love them.

Plus I made a new cat friend, so there you go.

I Don't Want To Think About It

So this is one of those things I'd really rather not think too closely about but... I think a spider might have bitten me on my boob.

LALALALALALALALA!

I noticed a ... bump(?) last week and it wasn't anything I'd ever seen on my skin before, so my first concern was that it was some indication of something bad... like cancer.  I will, of course, be asking my doctor to take a look if it's still around next time I'm in, but as the days pass I'm starting to see it shrink in size so it's more likely... um... ew and ick.  And I do not not not want to think about when or where or how the alternative (GAH) might have happened! 

And I mean, even if some other bug rather than a spider I'm no happier about that because really, just no crawling on my skin just no.  No, stop, no, nuh uh!

Long Weekend Again!

Hi all,
Hope you have an opportunity for a long weekend.  I'm very grateful I do!
My brain started this morning with a series of stress-nightmares including my little brother (I don't have a little brother) and I running away from home.  Except he decided not to wear shoes because he'd just read about people who don't wear shoes but then his little feet hurt so I had to go back to the house to steal his crocs (I don't know!) without getting seen but hey, at least he had his hiking poles?
(Huh?)

D'Awwwww

I just discovered that an old (as in former, not as in elderly) co-worker of mine got married!  I have no idea when, but it's one of those people who had seemingly given up and resigned themselves to being single and now... yay!  HAPPY!

I'm so happy for them.  Yay for love and friendship and all those good things.

I Forget

I'm getting my eyes dilated today for the (I forget) test that you get with your (should be) regular eye exams.

I can't remember the last time I had it done, although I'm sure I did... maybe this is the one where I remember my eyes leaking orange tears?

Anyway, they reminded me I can't drive after, which makes me wonder who I asked to help me last time or what?!

I totally forget, but I'm sure it'll be all over before I know it.




Updated to add:  Ok, so things are a little blurry but I'm actually pretty used to that cuz I don't wear my glasses much and on days when I'm run down or under the weather, things get blurry.  But the brightness of that ball in the sky is BRIGHT and so that's the most "difficult" part.  As in, I'm inside right now, blinds down and sunglasses on.  I'm soooooooo cool man!

Where?

So, if we're assuming that missing socks get lost in the wash/dry cycle... where are we assuming missing tupperware (or whatever) lids go?

Because I suddenly have three little containers with no lids.  WHERE DID THEY GO????

Nope!

I do not want to think about where the giant ant came from or why it was on my pillow, NOPE!  I DO NOT!

Broken

Well, I think we've broken this current heat wave thingy... rain in the forecast, which I'm happy to have... the less likely we are to have a raging fire season, the happier I am.

Although there was an evacuation already in our province this week due to a fire.... sigh.

Anyway.

I know this weekend isn't always the easiest of weekends (it being Mother's Day here) so if it was a rough one for you for any reason, big hugs.

I gimped up my hip so took a rest day on Sunday and am feeling like it's on the mend, yay!

These are the fascinating ruminations of little old me, you're welcome!  (Please note, fascinating is totally in quotation marks here!)

Not Brr

It's still warm around these here parts and it reminded me of something I know I'm not alone on... or at least I'm pretty sure!

At night, even if it's totally toasty (which it is right now), I still have to have something over me!

It's like I can't fall asleep without at least a sheet over me, although I really don't know why.

(I do seem to "wake" half up at some point in the night to pull up more blankets but that's ok)

It's Here

Well, this weekend was the first time my apartment got warm.  As in, I ended up putting my blinds on my windows down for a few hours in the afternoon.  And I took off my top quilt. 

And then this weekend stayed warm.  Yesterday, I didn't even close my windows at night, it didn't cool down enough for that.  So I guess I'll say Spring/Summer is here?

It's hard to know these days when a season shifts as it's all a lot mushier than it used to be, but yeah, my blinds are down and my windows open and I guess the warmer weather is here now.  (For now?)

White Whale

Do any of you have a "white whale" of a book (or movie?)

As in, something that you can't quite figure out.... or get to...

Like, there was this book I read when I was young.  I really enjoyed it (as far as I can remember) and would love to read it again.

(Actually, as I type this I feel like I may have written about this here before but I shall proceed!)

The problem is that I don't remember enough about the book to find it again to re-read.  All I remember (and this is from when I was like 10 or something so the memory may not even be all that accurate!) is that the protagonist (girl) had to (?) to go a farm/ranch (?) and there were horses.  And, you know, HORSES!  (I loved horse books, as many do.)

I seem to remember there being forests involved or dark trees or something but my mind tells me something about flying over a farm house and the horse pen area and something something uncle maybe?  I dunno, I just wish I had any sort of solid information to go on to find this book (that maybe isn't all that great but in my mind it was!)

So... do you have something like that that you don't have enough info to quite figure out?

My Odd Little Brain

My half awake morning brain (as in my brain when I'm still sleeping but not in a deep sleep before I wake up) has been thinking some funny things lately.

Like, the other day, it came up with "zombie acne" as the most frightening thing.  Like... zombies with zits?  It was so scary at the time that I had to wake myself up to get out of that terrifying thought.  (And then I woke up more and just kind of laughed because.. really?)

And then this morning two people in my dream were being SO rude to each other I just had to wake up.  And by "rude" I mean they were using language like "jerk" or "you're lame".... so, you know, not ACTUALLY all that rude.

I guess I have to hope that no zombies with pimples start to speak and tell me I am a jerk or I might just lose my mind, heh.

Tick Tock

And here we are in May.

Somehow.  Again.

Even though I keep thinking that "2019" is next year.  You know, not... now. 

I had a rough week this week.  Some financial stuff and some work stuff, which are two of my biggest anxiety producers (or triggers, but that term gets a bit over and incorrectly used methinks) and while I've done my best to calm myself it's been a really high anxiety week.  Which is hard for a whole number of reasons.

When I take some time to look objectively at how I'm handling things, I do think there is and has been improvement.  And I don't think I'm quite as hard on myself as I used to be.  Which... hot damn it was a lot.

As I type this out my thoughts slip towards the things I'm super worried and anxious about right now and I don't want to think about that, because it makes me feel awful and I would rather continue feeling relatively ok, so... away I go back into the other things and I send you off into the weekend with good, happy, calm thoughts.

Factoids

I know a lot of weird factoids I'm not sure why I know.

Like, I saw a cool vehicle the other day and my brain said "oh, that's a Ranchero."  It was, but why did I know that?  I mean, I like old cars, but.... that was weird. 

And I know the manager/coach of Liverpool (football team)'s name and I'm not sure why as I don't really follow all that closely.

And then at the same time I can't remember what day my friend said she was going away.  So like, you know.... Ranchero for the win?

Oh Very Young

So many things I keep discovering as my body continues to get older every day.

Like... puffiness...

I watched a certain tv show this weekend and I cried a lot.  Like a LOT lot.  And although I'd stopped crying by the time I went to bed I was still puffy eyed a bit and a little sniffly.

But when I woke up the next morning, my eyes were still super puffy!  Like, they did not go down overnight!  PUFFY EYELIDS!

So even though I'd had a couple of hours of not lying down between my sobbing and my lying down to go to bed, my eyelids retained all that.. um... I'm not sure what... and then it didn't dissipate overnight.

Bodies... so fascinating.  And so many things I had no idea to be grateful for when I was younger.

Super Mild Though

I think after years of wondering, I'm going to admit that I think I get mild seasonal allergies.

I know a few people who get pretty nasty allergies so I know that's not what I'm dealing with and for the last few years I was like well, no way I'm reacting to Spring pollen, because so and so is practically dead and so and so can't stop sneezing and so and so looks miserable so I'm probably just fighting off a cold or something.  No biggie.

But the last few years around this time of year, I've noticed that I get kind of a drippy nose.  Not terribly so, but I'm all sniffly.  I figured it was the change of temperature (it'll be warm outside and then cold inside, or it'll rain but I'll be walking so warm, etc.) or something.  And I'd have the occasional sneeze, no big deal.  But then the last year or two, I started getting a cough.  No feeling of being sick with it, no irritation, just a cough.  Just from time to time... hmmm... Then this year I've had some other symptoms that amount to "my mucus membranes are all annoyed, like seriously" and I thought to myself, well maybe it is kind of light a light allergy maybe?

I took an antihistamine at my doctor's recommendation and a lot of things eased up.  I mean, they probably would anyway if it was a cold, but I'm still experimenting to see if it's worth combating an allergy I'm not sure I have.

It's going to sound weird, but I think it's affecting my esophageal lining and making it hard to breathe after eating... doesn't that sound weird?  But, seriously, I'll often eat something and then spend a good few minutes coughing (like a phlegm-y cough, not just a dry one) and the other day I went out for sushi and felt like I couldn't breathe after with the coughing, it was not a nice feeling.  I know this could be acid reflux, but I thought I'd take a look at the possibility of it being a pollen thing before I look into it being a "my entire digestive system is irritated" thing.... because we all know medicine is rarely just an isolated simple fix, eh!

Ten Kay

I was "woken up" yesterday by the cheering for the local 10K run.

I say "woken up" in quotes because it did wake me up but I dozed and half napped through it and before too long it was over and I'd missed it all.

I ran that race a few times, and I should probably put "run" in quotations as well and I think it's not just body discomfort and injuries that lead me to not keep doing it.

As far as I remember, last time I ran it, I was with C-Dawg and we'd both been doing running courses for a while so while we weren't anywhere near fast, we also weren't terribly slow.  And what we found was that in the time period we were (you line up according to your approximate finish time), for the first few kilometers of the race we were dodging people who were either walking or running slower than our pace.  And this, I discovered, is extra draining.  When I think on it, we probably added a lot of extra mileage in those first few K going around people rather than in a straight line.

I bonked pretty hard mid way through the race (a running term for hitting that wall of no longer having any energy) and the last half of it was super long and uncomfortable.

I'm not saying "I don't do the race anymore" for any big reason, it's more me recollecting my last time doing it.

Every time I did do the race, the people cheering and encouraging on the sides of the route always made me cry.  No, really.  I'd get all choked up and emotional at people out there cheering us all on.

This morning it was nice to wake up to those sounds, although it took me a minute to figure out why!  (Some weekends I can't remember in the mornings if it's a Saturday or a Sunday so I was a little confused.)

The other funny thing about that race is that the finishers are crossing the finish line before us slow folks are even at the 2K mark.  That always struck me as funny... I'd get to the 4K mark and be like "many thousands of people are already done!"

Tweee Twooo Wooo

A couple of weeks back I heard a robin sing somewhere past midnight.

Ok, that makes it sound like a bird was singing a song by that name.... I mean, birds don't usually make noise at night but this one was and it was after midnight!

I heard this bird again last night.  I wasn't having a good sleep so it was probably two or so in the morning and there was that robin singing.

I heard it off and on all morning and when I was home again I still heard it (I mean, I'm assuming it's the same bird!)

I googled and there's a suggestion that when birds sing at night it's because it's "too noisy" during the day for them... ugh.

So, yeah, I have a robin near me that is somehow disoriented and thinks the middle of the night is the time of day to flirt... or whatever.

Oh dear.

Some People Are Lame

This weekend I did something I'd never done before, and never really thought or expected to do - I picked up shotgun shells.

Jason and I went for a drive and up a logging road (I think?) that I guess folks use for recreational reasons, including, I discovered, shooting.

We drove past a group of people shooting and I was like "huh, that's not anything I've seen before" and then we got to a spot where we were going to hang out for a while and I got out of the car and saw the ground littered with casings.  (Please excuse me if I have the wrong terminology!)

It was ugly and made me so frustrated.  So I spent some time picking up the shell/casings and felt a whole lot better about things once I'd done it.

I have personal thoughts about shooting as a... thing, but I am so very seriously not ok with anyone leaving any kind of litter no matter what their activity of choice is.  Lame, lame, lame.

Jason said it's one of those things were lame (he didn't use that word but I will be polite) people give a bad name to everyone.

The best part of the story though is that he has a friend who's Dad recycled the casings and that made me feel even better!


(It might not look like much in the photos, but I probably collected upwards of a hundred of these things.  I'm glad they're no longer there.)  Before and After:

You Put The Lime In The Coconut

Ok, I feel like I have to explain the "lime and sea salt" thing!

See, I use this dish soap in a hand pump by my kitchen sink and in the uh... hand held cleaning wand thing?  (Does that make sense?)  Like, I don't use it in my dishwasher, but it's dish soap, so... yeah.  I do use it on dishes and hands and whatever I'm cleaning in the sink.

I use an "earth friendly" brand and I've been using their clementine flavour....ok, not flavour cuz I don't eat it but... you know what I mean... scent for a while. 

I'd been running low and always keep an eye out for when it's on sale and boom, it went on sale!

Now, on the other story line, my acupuncturist sometimes uses essential oils (scented oils?) during a session and a while ago she used one and I loved it and asked what it was and she said it was lime.  So I have a little thing of lime scented oil stuff that I sniff from time to time and it's just a nice scent!

Which is funny because lime juice doesn't do the same thing for me, but anyway...

So when I was going to buy more of this soap I saw the "lime and sea salt" and I thought "OOOOH LIME!  I'd LOVE to smell lime every time I washed something yay!"  And I figured the 'sea salt' portion was for grit.  You know, like some added cleaning power with a bit of salt thrown in there. So I bought it yay, lime!

I transferred it into the hand pump and cleaning wand thing and didn't think much of it.  And, apparently didn't think to give it a sniff as I just assumed (wrongly!) that it would smell like the lime essential oil stuff.

Sigh.

Fast forward to this weekend when I used it for the first time and gah.  GAH!

I mean, I'm sure there are folks who will/would love the scent, it's not awful per say so much as it is a scent I really don't like.

It doesn't smell lime-y and it doesn't smell salt-y it just smells... I don't know, actually.  But I really don't like it and so I will have to go get me some clementine and find someone who wants my not lime and not sea salt soap!

(It's lingering, I tells ya!)

Long Weekend

I had a nice long weekend.

It started with some very difficult stuff, but went on to include some creme eggs, some relaxing, a small backyard fire, and a certain tv show that I cried and cried over.

Yesterday was rainy and my difficult stuff caught up with me and I cried a bit over it all and then took the rest of the day to myself.

I also, she says, attempting to lighten the mood, bought a new to me scent for my kitchen dish soap and it is not not not something I will be keeping!

Let me just say that "lime and sea salt" is not what I thought it would be.

Ahhhh.... Ok

So laptop is back, yay!

But the replacement part as a separate, new issue that will need to be fixed, so I suppose I'll take it BACK in next week and, well.... le sigh.

Maybe it's just a quick fix of jiggling some wires, who knows, but yeah, kind of frustrating.

I mean, a fantastic, "I live a spoiled life" kind of problem to have, for sure. 

If you have a long weekend this weekend, I hope you enjoy it.  If you celebrate or have family time this weekend I hope you enjoy it.  If it's just a weekend for you, I hope you enjoy it! 

Happy long weekend, y'all, may you eat something yummy (I'd say chocolate but that's not everyone's thing!) and have happy days.

A Whole Night's Worth!

Sometimes I'm amazed at how much sleep it feels like I got during the nine minutes between me hitting snooze.

(Like, seriously, I swear I got an hour's worth this morning... in nine minutes!)

Clickitly Click Clack

Computer's going into the shop (again) for.... as long as it takes (because they won't even order the replacement part for the known issue until I drop it off, sigh) and so I do still have my old, unwell, limping along laptop but I may not be able to do much with it....

I can't remember if I mentioned it, but I've been leasing a new laptop since December or so, and this is the second time I will be taking it in for a "known issue" (sigh).  Warranties are great and all, but not having to use them in the first place is greater, no?

No Idea Why!

I have no idea why but I keep waking up in the mornings with like, soft 80s rock (don't know what else to call it?) ballads going through my head!

Today it's that one .... "why don't you staaaaay"... (We've Got Tonight?)

Yesterday it was the Eagles (I forget what but all sad like again).

Is my brain going through a breakup I don't know about?  Send ice cream I guess?

Often

A lot of the time these days I find myself not knowing.

Not knowing what to think.  Or how to think in a way that will be better for me... healthier for me.

I, like everyone else, have no real idea of what the future holds and I'm trying to find a balance between being realistic and being positive.

I often don't know how to handle something upsetting, especially if it involves someone else.

I write this without a specific purpose or intent.  I am gently suggesting to myself that it's ok to write differently... (or not at all.)

I am continuing to actively change.

It is continuing to be difficult.

Sometimes it feels like I don't know anything.  Or that the things I thought I knew I'm not so sure are knowable.

Or something.

And the other night, the skin on my hands looked like that of an "old" woman.

The physical signs of aging are sometimes hard to take.

The mental and emotional signs of aging are often invisible.

I grow, I change, I try, I tire.

I am yet to give up.  I'd rather not.

The coming of Spring does help, no?

That Jiggle

Just remembered that my brother had a water bed and at some point I inherited the water bed and now I can't think if I would still like it or be able to sleep on it and are waterbeds even still a thing?

Waiting...

So this is maybe a weird one, but I had a frustrating and stressful to me "problem" yesterday.

I had the day off (at home) and we got a notice over the weekend that they'd be coming to change our smoke alarm batteries, as they do from time to time (once a year I think?)

The notice said they'd be doing it somewhere between 8:30 and 4:30 so... even though I had the day off and hadn't slept all that soundly the night before I felt obliged to be up at the crack of 8.   And then I spent all morning thinking maybe they were coming so I shouldn't jump in the shower or whatever else.

I think this is probably in large part something I can put down to "anxiety" stuff but it is also a little frustrating to have such a wide range of time when someone MIGHT be showing up.

New And Improved

So a while ago they put in new windows for our building.  We were all a bit sad to hear they were doing this as it's an older building and the windows had that "olden" appeal. 

I was nervous of the new windows going in but y'all?  They are SO AWESOME!!!

It's delightful to hear my neighbours talking to each other about the awesome new windows and we all say the same thing "aren't they wonderful?!"

Because, yes, they are.  They reduce outside noise greatly.  They will, I'm sure, mean better heat protection or whatever the proper term is for it'll be warmer when it's cold and cooler when it's hot.  They lift with the touch of a finger, rather than occasionally needing to be yanked on with all your strength, or not opening at all if overly wet or something (they were wood, and very very thin single paned.)  And, most exciting to me?  They come with build in, fitted bug screens!  EEEEEEE!

I mean, I had bought (and kept) old bug screens but they didn't completely fit and bugs were always getting in.  Maybe bugs will still get in in other ways but damn, these screens are so wonderful!

As if it wasn't enough to suddenly have a window that opens like a breeze, that has bug screen fittted completely perfectly, has double panes and, well, just really really works, I just learned something else wonderful about them this weekend.

So there was a big windstorm Saturday morning and Jason mentioned it to me in a text when I was awake.  "Wow, did you hear that wind?" And I said back to him that no, I hadn't... I guess I'd slept through it?

Which seemed odd to me as I'd actually woken up around 6:30 (to pee!) and then gone back to bed and that's when he said the wind was super noisy so I was wondering how I'd managed to fall so completely back asleep.

And then it hit me. 

The windows didn't rattle!  OMG THE WINDOWS DIDN'T RATTLE!

See, the old windows would rattle when you opened and shut them, but they would also rattle at any wind, most especially strong wind.  I would often have to get up and completely close my windows when a wind storm got strong enough to just make it impossible to sleep through.  I also had a couple of the store bought, ill fitting bug screens that would also rattle so I had thumb tacks positioned to try to stop that rattling on top of the window rattling.  So to have not even noticed a wind storm was something of a miracle!

I'm sure that I will notice wind storms and weather and all sorts of things but what a nice thing to not notice.... lovely to have a super functional modern window... even if it takes away a little bit of character. 

The Stretch

This next few months is my busy birthday month(s)!  I have at least three that I can think of offhand in the next week alone, then at least two next month and then it's birthday AND wedding anniversary season and, well, I will now rant about how expensive store bought cards are these days and how "back in my day" no but really... sorry but my cards are now either hand made or from the dollar store, cheesy as that may be!

Is this a busy time of year for celebrations for you too or is that just my family and friends?

Woah

I just had the most upsetting dream that for all intents and purposes shouldn't have been...

The people in the dream are likely just placeholders for the underlying feelings but they were both people I know.  One, the "cutest guy ever" that was the first person I ever spoke to at Burning Man, and the other my friend that I went to Burning Man with my first year (and had a lot of frustration with.)

So some details are fuzzy but I was driving the cute guy's car (like borrowed?) and we were visiting him at work (bar) and then back to his place after work, and I feel like he and I were totally hitting it off and that some smooching might happen and I was wandering around his place and I think I caught him coming out of the shower (giggle!) and then next thing I knew he and my "friend" were getting into bed together and they said it was just that they are friends who platonically sleep together (as in no sex) but I was devastated because I really thought he and I were going to... you know, smooch and stuff. 

And I was, I guess, showing my disappointment and hurt and she and he were shrugging it off which was somehow worse and then he said that I could always go tidy his car to make it how I like it to be for driving and I know this dream doesn't seem all that upsetting but it was one of those dreams that have that awful feeling attached to it and you wake up so so upset. 

Not sure there's too too much to analyze here but I really do hope I can shake off this feeling because wow, what an awful way to start the day...

The Second

Did we all survive April Fool's Day? 

I'm not sure I can say it's ever been a day I enjoy.  I think my parents probably got me with a prank or two when I was a kid, usually because I forgot what day it was, or didn't know and they'd wake me in the morning with something harmless and then I'd realize it later.  No big deal.  But honestly I don't enjoy pranks or tricks or teasing and the day, as I got older, became quite stressful.  So I'm glad it's, yet again over.  Phew!

I had a nice weekend this weekend.  Got out and about a lot.  It was beautifully sunny and warm but not overly so.  The air is fresh and clean right now and we really are fully into Spring.  Blossoms about, birds doing bird things, all that good stuff.

I saw various awesome animals this weekend.  Some otter-seal-sea lion types, lots of birds including a raptor I can't quite identify that flew RIGHT overhead super low (it was amazing) and my first time seeing elk!

Currently finding the balance between sunscreen and hat and still managed to get too much sun apparently (maybe through the windscreen of the car, no seriously!)

It's the second of April now.  March was good.  Which is weird to say as it had some very difficult moments, but maybe it is just having the longer days and the brighter light that helps things feel a bit easier.  And I don't want to jinx anything by typing this, but getting some sleep in makes a world of difference too.  (Seriously.)

So here's to April and Spring and hopefully a fresh air bonanza these coming months. 

A Polite Reminder

Don't believe anything (much) you read on the internet this morning!

And Happy April.

Double Um?

So... how is it possible that I have cousins who have grandkids?

I mean, I can understand how logically it's possible... my parents have older siblings, they have kids who are older than I am, my cousins live in Scotland so I've not seen them in decades and so on and so forth but still... you what now?



Oh and in other news I've already killed four ants, they showed up earlier this month when we had our hot day (I figured they would)  My hope is I've killed the "scout" ants (that's a thing right?) and after a while they'll stop sending any my way and I can live ant free?  Yes?  Please?

So, Um...

This is almost funny.  Or, I suppose I should say I'm finding this funny!

I'm pretty run down and exhausted so took today off to just rest.

Well, turns out they're doing some construction stuff in the apartment below me and y'all?  I couldn't sleep through it if I tried!

Like, I heard them unloading so wasn't able to sleep in sleep in so am up on the couch under my blanket and thought I'd sneak in a nap but I think they're murdering a drill down there or something and, well, no rest for me!  (Seriously, it's like the loudest dental drill noise plus a dying dial up noise I can't even!)

I mean I'm still going to lie on my couch under my blanket but just, I'll be awake doing it.  Heh.

This Sucks

I'm currently researching air purifiers/filters in anticipation of another smokey "Summer" season and I really don't want to believe that this is how life is now.

(Also, everyone seems to love their Dyson but I just don't feel like I have the money...!)

The System

I know the medical system has challenges, and that's me being polite.

But I spent three days (at 5+ hours a day) waiting in the ER with my friend and every time I spoke with a nurse about how busy they were they responded with "it's always like this" and "people come here for clinic reasons". 

I know it's far more complicated than I can possibly type out here or probably even understand but despite there being good people working there, the ER system sent my friend home twice, missed some important things that shouldn't have been missed, and according to the final doctor upon discharge, my friend nearly died (because of this.)

I am exhausted.  My friend is mending.  I'm turning off comments just because I know it's a passionate, sensitive issue that involves money and taxes and government and all sorts of things I just try to keep off of my own little private blog space here. 

I'm letting my friend do the complaining that needs to be done, and I've sent off commendations to the nurse and doctor who did save a life by listening, being thorough, and taking the time (despite whatever limitations they're working within.)

And I wish wish wish people had a better understanding of what's a visit to the clinic (yes, there are also long waits there, I know) and what's a visit to the ER.  Turns out the ER can't send anyone home, even if they show up with a hang nail.  So that person will have a very very very long wait and will also slow down the system for folks who are in dire straits and need to be there. 

And if I were you, I'd do whatever I could to avoid having to go through the long long waits at the ER.  Or, you know, just try to stay out of hospitals all together if you can!

Doing The Work So You Don't Have To

I did some very important research for you all.  You're welcome.

Store in town here has imported some British Cadbury creme eggs.  So I bought one.  For science.

I can now officially report that they are still in that old metal wrapping (rather than the weird plastic shell we have now.)  They're slightly bigger and taste slightly different.

Now I'm not sure most people would notice the taste difference but I do consider myself something of a connoisseur after all.  I do miss the metal wrapping so that was nice to re-experience.

But yes, I have done the research and can let you know they're still yummy, even when flown (ridiculously) from the other side of the world.  (And ever so slightly different)

The end!

Huh?

So, according to my dream... I went in to see the doctor (who had a fancy office) and she was the Mom of a gal I vaguely know, and when she came in, she asked if I knew which tattoo I was getting, and I froze because I knew she was a tattoo artist, but I'd totally forgotten that's why I was going and so I'd forgotten to think of what tattoo I wanted, so I said no.

She said that was fine because she'd seen my parents at a get together the night before and they'd chosen some, and she showed me the patterns.  (What?)

They were all really lame (of course they were!) and so I politely tried to back out of it, while feeling guilty.

Then, my friend who'd been wandering around the property came back in and said he needed the first aid kit because someone was hurt. So I followed him out and he told me to say sorry to my friend for him wrecking the roof. He went on to explain that he saw the old Chevrolet (car) and just wanted to climb inside the roof (I don't know!) so he did but then it collapsed (probably because it was old and not designed for ... that) and shattered everything and then I started to wake up because I'm not sure how the other person got injured but... I have no idea what that was all about!

Well, I mean I can guess at some components but really not sure how or why my brain but it all together like that!

Wasn't A Trick Question

I was on a call the other day and for "verification purposes" or something they asked me how old I was.

I gave an answer, but as I was giving it I was genuinely uncertain if I was correct. 

Now, this could be in part because my birthday was only two months ago (maybe?) or possibly because I have actually gotten to the point where I am not exactly paying attention to my age anymore.  So, you know, not "I'm 4 and 3/4!" more like "am within this decade?"

So Tired

Spent much of the day in the ER yesterday (not for me, I'm ok) and am so overwhelmed and exhausted and drained. 

Not that you needed to know that, but I noticed I didn't have a post ready but was way out of it last night, so here's my morning missive instead, sorry!

Rest would be lovely if you have any extra.

Spring In The Air

I noticed this weekend that the air coming through my window is different.  It has a feel of warmth to it.

Now, that's not to say that it's warm air or hot air, just that up until now, having my window open meant chilly air coming in.  Sometimes air that was so biting I'd have to have the window just cracked or closed entirely.

It seems sort of sudden.  As in, within the last few days, not quite a week.  I've also thrown most of my bedtime blankets off and may just be removing them altogether soon.

I know it is Spring, I mean, even technically tomorrow!  But we had a winter that was a not very winter and then a late comeback total winter and now it's feeling a little bit all of a sudden that I can probably have my window all the way open... and not have to wear fuzzy warm things and a blanket and a hot water bottle.

So, yeah.  Weather's changing.  And yes, I am soaking in the sun while it's here.

And yes, I'm sad to say I'm anticipating another wildfire summer, which sucks to be thinking about.

(Someone accidentally (was apparently smoking?) caused a brush fire on the waterfront here this weekend.  Now, I'm no fire expert, but it makes me a bit nervous to think that things are already that... dry?  Even with snowfall not too long ago.)

But yes, the air coming in my windows is warmer.  Like someone finally turned the heat on outside. 

Spring.

Waaaaahhhh

I've consulted with C-Dawg and she agrees.

While I'm not going to the gym TO sleep, the fact that I have managed to get myself to the gym should mean that as a bonus I DO sleep.

It's the LAW!!!  I GO TO THE GYM IT MAKES ME TIRED I GET TO SLEEEP!  IS LAW!

(No?)  (I mean, I'm not going before bed or anything but still!)

Zoinks

To whomever is getting the sleep I am not, I hope you are fully enjoying it and taking advantage of all that energy, brain power, strength and happiness it is bringing you.

I'm Trying!

I really am trying to do ok with the time change this year, I really really am, I swear!

I'm doing ... vaguely ok in the mornings so far (although yesterday morning was frigging rough so who knows) in part because my mornings have been really rough for a while so... no major difference?

But the days seem to be getting lost on me and then all of a sudden it's 7:30 and I'm not hungry and it's too late to start dinner anyway and I'm confused and so yeah.  I mentioned to Jason that I've been messed up on dinner this week and he just looked at me... "you get all f*cked up this week every year"

Oh.

Yeah...

Fine.

Bugger

I was just about to start a post asking if anyone else ever gets these random pains in their legs (mainly) that just come out of nowhere and I was going to describe it (as it had just happened) and then I saw a mosquito flying away.  Crap.

I wasn't sure it was a mosquito, and I usually don't feel their bites (I have to assume that's what that frigging pain was, damnit) but it came back a few minutes later and landed long enough for me to squish it dead.  (I may save spiders and other bugs but I never let mosquitos live, for so many reasons.)

So now I'm writing a post about the fact that I guess it's mosquito season again... and maybe it never wasn't... I dunno.  Just, ugh and boo and maybe, just maybe?  They didn't get enough of a bite into me for the itch to happen, I guess we'll see.

Sigh.

It's the Hips (And Shoulders?)

I'm not entirely sure why but I was thinking the other day about the fact that I "should" maybe (probably?) have an escape ladder in, say my bedroom, in case of a fire situation where I can't get out the front door.

So I was googling to see what was out there and how pricey they might be when I realized... I don't think I can actually fit out my bedroom window and there's no good way to find out!

My main living room windows I'm sure I can fit through them, but my bedroom ones are two smaller (thinner) windows rather than one large one (for... reasons?)

Which... I suppose means if I'm stuck in my bedroom when the imaginary fire or whatever happens, I probably can't get out.

Although you bet I'm going to have to try to figure out some way of measuring the window to see if I *could* indeed fit through it!

But let's be honest, I'm not sure how to see if my butt will fit out of a window...

To My Fellow Time Travellers

May we navigate this time change with humour and awakeness...

May we see the end of this madness oh so very soon (hurry up lawmakers!)

May we turn into someone who barely notices the hour's difference.

May we go back to sleep because everyone understands we shouldn't have had to get up so "early" this morning.

I wish you well.... during this.... time....

Aw, Man!

I got screwed!

Which is exactly the joke I made when I walked into the tire shop with a screw in my tire!

The guy didn't bat an eyelash (but I thought I was pretty funny so I was laughing in my head) and they did their thing and half an hour later I had a plugged tire and no screw.

I'm glad it went as well as it did, but it still blows my mind at whatever physics have to be involved for that screw to have gotten... stabbed (?) into my tire, and I wish I knew where it came from so I could be mad at them for it... like stop screwing around, y'all!

Heh.

Sorry, I'll show myself out.

Ugh

Well, turns out this weekend is Daylight Savings Mess With You For A Month or More Time.

Ugh.

I think we know how I feel about this.

Although I'm sleeping terribly these days anyway so maybe I won't notice?

Maybe?

Sigh.

Anyway, don't forget to do the thing, unless you live somewhere where you don't have to.  Sigh.

One Hundred and Fifty Five

I have been meditating (using the Headspace site/app to help) now for one hundred and fifty five days straight.  That's five months!

I have a calendar page (for the month) on one of my kitchen cabinet doors and I mark off the day with a big black dot (cuz I have a big black marker handy) when I'm done and that helps me remember on a busy day if I've done it or not, but also to motivate me on a day when I don't feel like it (which happens, honestly, quite a lot) because I don't want to mess up the streak, and because I want every day on that calendar to have a mark showing I did it.

I may have mentioned that I started in October when I saw someone post a "one month challenge" and I thought well, hey, I can maybe do that.  Because the idea of doing something for the REST OF MY LIFE is overwhelming.  But trying it for thirty (or so) days?  That felt doable.  And then once I'd done the thirty (one) days I didn't really see the point of stopping.  Plus, maybe I could do sixty (something) days?

So yeah, I've been meditating now, almost always in the morning for nearly half a year.  As I said, I don't always want to.  A lot of the time I'd really just rather not.  But then I'd break the streak... so I throw on a short one and even on the days when it's not easy to do (because it's not really an easy thing to be frank, and that, they say, is part of it) I don't feel *worse* for it.

And at this point, to be honest, I'm not really willing to stop doing it just to see if I feel worse, you know?

Like I feel about a lot of things, other than it costing a few dollars (Headspace does charge, but I don't mind paying, I really like it) and other than taking up a few minutes (which really, how many minutes do I 'waste' online on things that make me miserable or stressed?  SO MANY!) there's no harm to it.  If it's "not working", I'm not losing much.  You know?

I'm certainly no monk at the top of a mountain or anything, and I mean, heck, I lie down when I do it rather than sitting up (so what!  Am still doing it!) but I do think it makes a difference to things and to me and to my calm.  So, here's to a good few months of consistent, daily meditation, yay!

Awww Yay!

I had a happy dream last night that I bought a house!

(Or, ok, as I was saying to someone in the dream, well the bank kind of owns it because mortgage, but still!)

The dream was super super nice because it was happy (as in not at ALL stressful, yay!)

I was unpacking in the house or something and realizing it was much bigger than I'd thought.  And there were little things I was realizing I hadn't considered, like the fact that the gorgeous back lawn would need a lawn mower.  (I assume the older couple who owned it previously didn't leave theirs) And then as I was looking to see if maybe they had left a lawn mower, I realized that I'd need somewhere to store one, and the place didn't have a garage, so maybe I'd have to put up a shed in the back yard?  Because garbage cans too... where would they go?

And I figured that there were so many rooms I kind of hadn't realized about that I could really see if Jason wanted to rent one and then that would take six to eight hundred bucks off of my mortgage a month (no idea where those numbers came from but ok!) and then he could help with the back yard because I just realized I could have a garden!  AND GROW FOOD!  Oh my gosh this is just getting better and better!!!

It was a bit further away than where I live now, so maybe a bit more driving but when I woke up and thought "hmmm, where was that house?" I don't think it was where I thought it was so maybe it's not actually that far away at all.

So yeah, in my dream, I own a super cute house that's got more than enough space for me and a great yard where I can grow things and I was talking to my parents about how a grass yard isn't important to me but that these folks did an amazing job on this gorgeous, lush lawn, so I would be looking for natural/organic ways to maintain it because that's responsible and I wasn't going to deal with chemicals.

It was lovely, to be honest, to have a non stress dream (for a frigging change!)  There was no stress about money; I wasn't thinking "I can't afford a lawn mower or organic grass food" I just was excited and happy to be planning and thinking and owning my own home that I could DO things in and with!

As I type this out I am realizing I didn't even consider the fact that I can get a dog!  So had I stayed asleep and spent time in the house I bet that would have occurred to me, yay!

I like to think that some day I'll be buying my own house and something in my brain will go "wait, deja vu?" and I'll think back to typing out about the dream where I'd just bought a house and I'll go hey!  My dream (literal, ha) house!

Super Pet Peeve Rant

There should be a law, A LAW I SAY!, that if you eat healthy type good for you food that you don't even really like but are eating because they are HEALTHY AND GOOD FOR YOU that you do not get sick from said food.

Like seriously. 

I got sick after a lunch that had no bad food in it, that was fresh and all the good things and it's not like I even wanted to eat it, like I mean if I have a bag of Doritos and get a headache or stomach ache after it's like like "oh, well, you know, all those chemicals, my bad, sorry body" but this?  Betrayed by tomatoes?  ARE YOU KIDDING ME?

And no, it wasn't a nasty awful food poisoning type thing it was just feeling really off an unsettled until... er... things uh... cleared my system and then feeling better.

I'm just saying.  If I'm eating this stuff?  No sick or pain ok?  THAT'S A FAIR DEAL!!!!!

FFS.

A Bad Good

I feel like this is a dumb thing to say but if I was a thief, I'd take the good stuff and then leave the rest somewhere where it could be found.

Like... if I was going to steal a wallet or purse, I'd take the money (and credit card I guess?) and then leave the rest of the stuff somewhere so it could get returned to the person.  I mean, I don't see the point in stealing something like a bag or purse and then keeping it all.  No way you need that person's used lip gloss or tissues or the photo of their dog, you know?

(I've been watching a show where bag thieves take bags at a beach and I just want the tourists to get their stuff back!)

In Like A Lion

Well, we're in March now, eh?

Which is such a spring sounding month.

And also the one I often confuse with May.

Plus I can never remember when Easter is anymore.

And I'm going to try to not eat creme eggs this month.

I think.

Because I really should stop.

No, seriously.

So, happy March to you!

Like Magic

I'm about to type something into non existence.

They say it is likely to snow a small amount.  Now that I have typed that out it is not going to happen.

You heard it not here first!

Wind Chill

I'm sure I've experienced wind chill before but I had a super strong experience with it yesterday that really made me feel like "oh, ok, THIS is wind chill, damn!"

Jason and I went for a walk and although it was sunny, I knew it was cold out so I bundled up.  It was still cold, but once we got walking I was warm enough, so it wasn't a big deal and yeah, any time we were out of the wind it was a lot warmer, almost nice in the sun.

But then on my way home, I had taken off the extra layers of hat and gloves and stopped to pick up some (er... creme eggs, shush!) stuff from the store and as soon as I got out of the car (and out of the heat of the car!) without the hat and gloves it was cold cold cold!

Just the walk from the car to the store was so cold, the wind really did have that much of a bite.

Wind chill confuses me from a physical standpoint (as in, I probably once learned how it works but now I'm going to have to go google it again because I've forgotten) because I don't... *get* it.  But I can tell you first hand now that yeah, it's a thing.  It's a frigging cold, biting, mean old thing!

Brrr.

Not Panicking

While I'm not horrifically concerned about the current measles outbreaks, I was interested to hear that I am in the age group of folks who maybe have only ever had one round of MMR vaccinations.

I looked to see if I could find some immunization records but the only one I have on hand is one I was given when I went in for the bird flu vaccination a few years back. 

So I looked up what to do about getting my old records and since I didn't grow up here I'd have to call the health authority of where I grew up.

I knew they'd be overwhelmed with calls, but I went ahead and gave them a shout yesterday.

They had a whole pre recorded message about measles and such and I decided not to wait on the line to get through to them right now to ask for a copy of my records, instead, I'll just go in and see my doctor and see what she has to say about it.

But it did make me realize, there are a few things about my health that without records, I'm not exactly sure about! 

A Binge

This weekend I totally binge watched Bondi Rescue!

It just showed up, a show about Australian lifeguards, and I'll be perfectly honest, I thought I'd give it a watch just in case there were delightfully handsome men to watch... but that sort of ended up being incidental. 

I wasn't sure I'd make it through the series as the rescues were a bit nerve wracking, but once I figured they'd probably not show us anything too too bad, I was able to relax and enjoy the show.  It's light and a quick watch and not too serious.  The fellows are all very nice and seem to really enjoy their job and I actually found the show quite inspiring because here is a job you HAVE to be fit to do.

So these super fit people are super fit not for vanity or showing off, but to save lives.  So cool!

So while I'll likely never be a lifeguard at Bondi beach, I can certainly say that that simple little show inspired me to want to be healthier, so thanks random tv show!

Um

The holter monitor was pretty annoying, my heart didn't do the weird things it sometimes does (of COURSE it didn't) and I got a horrible rash/burn combo from the sticky stuff that kept the leads on and I wasn't able to sleep at all with the thing on (not exaggerating)

So my review is a 3/10, would not like to do again. (And hopefully don't have to.)

Technology is wonderful at helping us watch our health, but not always super fun.

Ordinarily

Ordinarily I'd be saying "how is it the 21st of the month already?" but I feel like I know how this month went by.  As in, I don't feel like this month rushed.  Or something not quite tangible makes me feel like I'm not surprised by the date.  I've had a weirdly difficult few weeks.  On top of an extremely difficult last month.

I'm wearing a holter monitor as we speak.  It's a device that measures heart activity, like an extended ECG.  It's annoying and I'm finding the sticky things that hold the ... measury things (leads? I dunno, I could google, but then you'd lose out on googling yourself!) super irritating and I figure I'll have some skin irritation there when it comes off, but it's more the tag to take it off that's rubbing, well, on my boobs... because, as you can maybe imagine, there are some sticky things under my boobs.

There are five altogether, which is fine, and a device that's doing the reading that I'm wearing on a belt loop thing.  I feel strangely scared to do anything not because of upsetting my heart but because I'm scared of the thing falling off or bumping it and pulling out the wires or something.

Probably by the time you read this it'll be off me already and I'm aware my heart might not do anything of note while I have it on and I suppose a pretty normal reading is the best bet here.

Insert a joke here about hearts and Valentine's day if you wish...

Security Alert Part Two!

As if having an account I didn't know I had broken in to, I then came home yesterday to find I'd forgotten to lock my door!

GAH!

I can't think of any other time I've ever done that so I'll put it down to a one off thing where I must have been distracted or something and I'm glad to live in such a safe building and phew, glad it went well!

Wait, What?

I got an email alert yesterday that someone had signed on to an account from an unknown browser and if it wasn't me to change my password.

Well, usually when I get these it IS me but this time I figured it was most likely spam as the account in question was an EA gaming account and I don't own a gaming system.

But I decided to follow through anyway and the email seemed legit and so I went to their site (not via the email) and guessed at my account name and password and got in.  So... I guess I made an account with EA?  Probably for Origin for some game I used to play on my phone?

I changed passwords, even though I don't really play many games on my phone anymore but now I'm feeling pretty paranoid (as one should) and am wondering how on earth someone knew to "hack" an account I didn't even know I had.

I'm finding passwords particularly frustrating right now as I switched computers and manually transferred what passwords I could and I clearly missed a few or something, but now I feel like burning everything to the ground and never having another password ever!

Sigh.

I've also thought about getting a password manager type thing but then if I lose it (wherever it might be.. on a laptop or what have you) it's an awful lot of work to reset them all...

Which I guess is where the "bad guys" have us, eh?  Convenience vs frustration/effort.

Melting

It's Sunday morning as I type this.  The sun is out, which is so lovely, and the snow is continuing to melt away, which I know makes things easier for a lot of people (but I will certainly miss it.)

I feel like I've made it through winter now.  You can start to see the days being longer.  Heck, there was still light out some time after five this week, it was decidedly wonderful.  I feel like now it's time for Spring, all the "winter things" are done... Christmas, New Years, Valentine's Day, it's time for easier days.  Because yes, I struggle in Winter and maybe sometimes even in Fall. 

My birthday is in this last chunk of time, and it was a weird one this year.  I had plans for the day itself, dinner with my parents, lunch with C-Dawg, but my parents had a rough bout of the flu and had to cancel and C-Dawg's been unwell herself and she messaged me on the morning of and said she was so sorry but just not well enough to have lunch.

I completely understood and I wasn't upset, that's just life.  But it was my first birthday ever alone.

I could have gone to see Jason, or even exposed myself to my parents' flu.  I thought of seeing my brother but it turns out his back had gone out so... yeah, my first ever birthday alone.

It was sad.

I sung myself happy birthday, I stuck a match in a jaffa cake (don't ask why I had some!) and, well, for the first time I didn't see my family on my birthday day.

I did see friends that week and I did see my parents not long after (my Mom only as my Dad was still not up for it...) I'm not looking for sympathy, just sharing that it was a difficult and sad/lonely experience for me.

C-Dawg's message, however, gave me a strange feeling of permission.  To actually say out loud that I am not well.  We both mean a great deal to each other and we know birthdays are fun and special days and I really appreciated that she *wanted* to see me and have a delicious lunch but that she wasn't well enough to do so and told me so.  I'm not good at that. 

I power through far too often and tell people that I'm managing or hanging in or whatever the line is.  Which is true sometimes, but also sometimes not.

I haven't really said it outloud myself, I did break down this weekend and tell Jason that I really think I'm not all that well, but it's hard to admit.  I'm looking to C-Dawg as my inspiration that on the days I'm really not ok, that's when I should be saying to myself and others that I'm not well today.

So, I did.  When I went out that weekend to catch up with friends I haven't seen in, well since my last birthday, I met with one of them a bit earlier and explained where I'm at and how I've been doing.  See, I haven't really talked to anyone outside of my very very immediate circle about what's going on, and really within that circle, I've only really talked fully with Jason.  I dunno.. the earth didn't stop spinning when I told my friends I was really struggling with anxiety.  I don't know if they think any differently of me.  They haven't suddenly started to call every five minutes to check if I'm ok so... you know, maybe it's not so awful if people "know"?

It's just private and personal and awful and I know how some will think about it, or about me.  I've heard them talk about people who had "breakdowns" or "lost it" or... whatever and there's often such judgement that I'd rather avoid.

But knowing there is judgement anyway, I suppose.  That were I the healthiest I've ever been some people still might think poorly of me or dislike me or judge me.

I can *know* this and still not feel comfortable with talking about my mental and emotional health.

But I'm also feeling like I'm at a point where I need change.  Big change.  Big, POSITIVE change and keeping this all secret/silent hasn't made me better.

I just know there are certain things you can't take back once they're out.

Well, let's be real, everything.  But yeah, I'm not well, and I don't know that I've fully accepted or admitted that as I've been trying so hard to push through everything.

And it's also possible this is just how I'm feeling after a long winter, and some new physical health concerns.

Ouch! Really?

I know we love our bodies because they're the only body we have and I do... but I'm also frustrated so going to vent!

My body seems super ultra picky.  Which gets frustrating.

Case in point...

I went for a short wander the other day in my snow boots and the deep snow.  I didn't go far, I didn't rush, I was careful where I stepped.  I stopped from time to time to take pictures and the only reason the walk was long was that I was going slowly and carefully.

So... my body decided that walking in that different (unusual?) way was enough to make my knee hurt for a day.  Like.. are you kidding me?

I didn't DO anything!  I didn't fall down, I didn't run, I didn't twist it or tweak it, there was no injury, I just... wore different shoes that usual and so... a sprained knee?

And I've been spending extra time on these snow days on my laptop.  And so I have now to ice my left elbow because it has that tendonitis feeling from being bent that way for longer than it wanted to be?  WHAT?

Sigh.

I do take supplements for joint stuff and all that, so I am watching out for my body but it is frustrating to get owies for very little...

Odd

So apparently the snow this time did a thing it usually doesn't do...

Often when we get snow in town here there will be far more snow elsewhere.  Like a forty minute drive will give you more snow and a three hour drive will give you a ton more snow.

Well, this time it seems that there were huge variations just ten or fifteen (maybe twenty) minutes away from each other.  As in, C-Dawg figures she got twice the amount of snow I did.  (She had to be in both areas yesterday and texted me all WHAT?!)

Usually the snow hits Victoria in a pretty blanket amount, so it's a little odd to have had it so varied in a relatively small area.  Go figure.

When we texted yesterday morning she figures they'd even gotten another five or so centimeters overnight and we only got a couple at most.  Plus a lot of ours melted.  We are a lot closer to the water than she is and I know that warms things.  (Or cools it in warmer times...go figure)

There were apparently snow plows getting stuck and things the last couple of days which, again, you can mock us for "freaking out" when it snows here but it really is a weird situation when it actually for real snows!

Happy Valentine's day by the way.  Hope you have some loved ones you can send hugs to.  And maybe you have your eyes on some chocolate tomorrow!  And let the Easter stuff roll on, right?  (Although I found one source in town for creme eggs a couple of weeks ago, but let's not talk about that ok!?)

Oooookhay

It snowed pretty seriously all day Monday and the city had one of those "virtually shut down" days yesterday. I was safely and happily warm at home with nowhere to be which is the best way to be on a snow day!

I did think of walking to the store to get some (extra!) treats but I didn't need them, and more importantly, I don't need store managers to think that they should make employees come in on days like that, so I ate what I had and didn't shop.  Plus, sidewalks were a real mishmash, I actually felt more comfortable in the deep snow off the side of sidewalks when I did go out for a wander.

They were calling for more snow all yesterday but it didn't happen.  Probably happened elsewhere (apparently a few hours up Island got super hit) but for us it was a strange slightly melty day.

I've been feeling a bit sad, to be honest, thinking to a few days from now when the snow melts away and then we don't see it again for who knows how long.  I do love how fresh snow looks and how everything sounds a little different and feels different.  It really is quite magical.

I say again... because I was able to be safe at home with nowhere to go!

When I have a bit more money, I'll re-evaluate my snow gear again as it's been a few years.  I'm missing a good, warm under layer for my legs and my jacket is apparently no longer waterproof (which I discovered when camping) so that should be replaced.  (I actually think it might never have been waterproof, but no point in wondering now)

A strange thing... when I dug out my snow gloves (vs my regular cold weather gloves) one of them had stuff in the fingertips.  It kind of creeped me out to be honest because I wondered if it was animal or bug poop or something from storage, so I dumped it out into the snow and then realized I should probably at least know what it was because if gross, I'd have to dispose of them.  So I dumped what was left into my hand and they seemed to be crystals.

I would assume salt, but did not try to taste them and I was outside so didn't keep any to test (however I would have tested it is beyond me!)  My best guess is that last time I wore them I handled some snow that had some salt stuff on it and when they dried that crystalized?

But even that is just my best guess.  I have no actual idea what it was or why it was on the inside of my insulated ski/snow gloves.

Any guesses?

So yeah, it snowed.  Busses got stuck kind of snowed.  I even read an article that a street plow thing got stuck kind of snowed.  And as my friends who have lived elsewhere have taken to explaining, it's not *just* that we don't get a lot of snow here, it's that the snow here is very different than the snow the rest of Canada (I can't speak for the Maritimes now that I think about it).  It is wet and heavy and sticks hard.  It will often melt and refreeze and we'll get a layer of compacted snow that will turn into ice and then snow on top of that and from what I've been told, the snow here is really weird.

So, there you go.  We got a lot of snow.  Still not the most I've ever seen or dealt with here (that goes to the infamous "Blizzard of '96" but still.  A goodly amount.  Much enjoyed.  Kind of wish it had been a nicer day today to enjoy it in.  (Or that I hadn't woken up in a less than delightful mood and just wanted to be a hermit, boo)

Um

Ok, so it snowed! Like.. it seriously snowed!!!

It's Monday night at 8pm as I write this and I'm guessing we already have 15+ cm and they say that overnight is going to be the biggest accumulation!!!! EEEE!!!!

My today (tomorrow.. Tuesday) is cleared and appointments cancelled (by them, I didn't even have to!) and I have food and a little bit of chocolate (because I AM trying to cut back but it's hard to do so in an exciting snow storm!) and thankfully my heat has been fixed (knock on wood) and I have power (not everyone does!) and I really am thankful I can just sit in my warm, cozy apartment with cozy clothes on and only have to go out if I want to!

I know snow here doesn't last long and this pile will likely be gone in a couple of days so I'm trying to enjoy as much of it as I can... knowing that I could probably be doing more than I am, but also really enjoying staring out the window and going "woah!"

Not California Dreaming

I'm writing this on Sunday morning, before another batch of snow does or doesn't arrive.  So the next post you see, I'm hoping will be another EEEEEE!  It snowed!  (Although I'm not holding my breath... that leads to disappointment... and fainting!  Ahem)

I had a dream last night that I needed another crown.  (I'm sure I wrote here somewhere that I got a crown on one of my teeth for the first time .... yep, here it is.) 

The dentist I was at wasn't the dentist who did my first one and this new dentist was all like you need a crown and I was all oh, ok.  But then I left her office and was all stressed because my actual dentist did such a great job and they'd probably not match the colours so well and maybe not do a good job and the STRESS, y'all, was how to tell the dentist that I wanted my actual, other dentist to do this crown, when new (not real) dentist had found it.

I figure that teeth dreams are because I'm clenching or grinding that night (yes, wearing my guard, don't worry!)  But this particular dream was a pretty good example of the social anxiety stuff my brain puts me through right now.  I was worried about telling a professional that I wanted to work with a different professional and it was stressing me out enough to be a nightmare kind of dream.

When I woke up enough to realize it was a dream and I only actually have one dentist (and hopefully don't need another crown, maybe ever! [fingers crossed]) I tried to talk myself through what I *could* do if I have to.  You know, call the office and say, I'm getting a second opinion, or something like that and then try to not be upset by whatever "upset" dentist 1 might have.

So yeah, that was a teeth stress dream joined up with an anxiety stress dream.  Geez.  Can't a girl dream of happy things?  (Like Cadbury Creme Eggs that taste the same but have no sugar in them through some magical process and so are actually really healthy!?)

Sigh

Well, it wouldn't be the coldest part of Winter without my building losing heat and hot water.

Sigh.

So far the power outages haven't hit us so I can still boil water for hot water bottles.  Am warm enough to be ok, and am trying to make it into a fun adventure but it is still a little frustrating.

2pm Edit:  We have heat and hot water again yay!

2:45 Edit:  I maybe shouldn't have said anything.. may have jinxed things. SEND CHOCOLATE!

Status

Well it snowed.  YAY!

It seems to really depend where you are as to how much you got and how your roads were to drive, but I'd say where I was/am, we got a beautiful five or so hours of snow and things look super pretty.

I'm good, don't have to be anywhere now, so if my radiators would start working again that'd be the icing on top of the ... uh.. snow cake?

They say no more snow (as in, they took down the "snowfall warning") and that there is a wind warning, so wind and blowing snow make for interesting times!

There have, of course, been reports of accidents.  I would imagine most of them from people not adjusting their driving to the conditions and some with tires that shouldn't be out in snow, or winter at all for that matter. 

I'm hopeful we'll have a wild winter weekend of more snow and cold and fun yummy cozy times, but for now I'm just admiring how pretty it is with snow covered trees and roofs.  (Wait, why isn't that "rooves"?)  (Ok, I googled, it *can* be but is "out of date" kind of thing now.)

So, yes, am trying to soak in the snow pretty while it's here as I know it is often short lived around these parts.

I do love watching snow fall.  In case I've not mentioned that before (winky emoticon here for sure!)

Snow's a Comin'

Well, I've checked all the sites and by all accounts, we're going to get some snow.

But that's about as far as I'm willing to predict.

Partly because they all keep saying "according to the model we THINK" etc etc etc so they're not even sure yet... not sure of the when or the how much or the where but I think we'll get... some?

But, I also may have jinxed it.  Because yesterday I made sure my car was topped up (it was low on gas) and I ran a couple of errands and I got some groceries and made sure I had no plans that needed to get done over the end of week/weekend/early week just in case it did dump.  Which, as you know, probably means it won't snow at all!

It's like when you take your laptop in to get a screen glitch checked out and they can't replicate the issue (yes, true story, sigh) or when you go to get your hair cut and your hair looks amazing that day for the first time in months (also a true story, sigh)  and I think I should stop now before I end up singing an Alanis Mirossette song!

So yeah.  If this snow storm doesn't happen, it's totally my fault for preparing for it but if it does happen I'm prepared for it! TA DA

So Tangly!

I'm not sure if I've directly asked about this before, but does anyone have any advice about long hair and scarves?

It never happened to me until a few years ago but now when I wear a scarf I get giant knots in my hair (the underneath portion).  Not little tiny knots either but giant crazy knots! 

I've used spray in conditioner to help get them out but I'm wondering if anyone has any advice because while it's cold I really would like to be able to wear a scarf, you know?

Mumbles To Self

Ok... fine.. they were right.  It's pretty darn cold!

Well...

As of this writing (Sunday evening) there has been a light dusting of snow in my area of town.

It was chilly enough when it fell that it stuck to surfaces, but not on the roads.  At least not where I am.

It'll be interesting to see what we wake up to, if anything.  Possibly one of those snowfalls where some people end up with a whole lot and others nothing at all and the difference will be a ten minute drive. 

The snow was beautiful when it came.  Big big flakes that came down quietly and then that unusual light that snow brings and that dampening of sound.  I love the experience of snow... when I don't have to be anywhere!

It is chillier.  The air has that briskness to it specific to cold.  It's hard to explain.  It's like it's cold but the air is.... holding something.  Dampness perhaps.  But, yeah, to me, snow weather just feels different in so many ways.

I like snow.  And I think it's super pretty.

Panic, Panic!!! Oh... Nevermind. Un-Panic

So we got a "special weather statement" put out yesterday.

C-Dawg texted me about it (because we love weather and are weird that way together!) and I checked it out and was like damn...

My radiators (only heating I have) aren't working very well or something and I can't be bothered to ask for the people to come look at them again (they've already been "bled") so I was thinking I might get a little cold in my place again.

And then this morning I looked at the weather forecast again and no, it's not going to be "Polar Vortex" cold, which is what I had sort of assumed (because why else put out a statement???) it's just going to be "a bit colder than normal.  As in, it's going to be cold.  In February.  You know, Winter.

Not even supposed to get all that cold, just... not as "unusually warm" as it has been.  *shrug*?

They also said there's a chance of maybe some snow but they have no idea where or when it might land so also a chance of no snow at all but you know, maybe some, ok?

So... of course I don't know what will actually happen with the weather this coming week.  Sounds like it'll be chilly.  But not the kind of chill that most of North America has been dealing with this last while.  So, again, not sure why Environment Canada is so set on putting out warnings unless we're all right about the but covering.

But yeah, no panic here.  I mean, I have blankets and hot water bottles anyway, so will be fine.