Hey, Um

So is there anyone out there willing to pay me large sums of money to *not* go to work today?

Or, like, ever again kind of thing?

Anyone? Hello?

*tap, tap* This thing on?

Nobody?

Sigh.

Nothing like the holidays to make you never want to go back to work, eh?

Hogmanay

Amidst all the retrospective, 2009 reviewing that's going on, I'm tempted to do more, but I had a good year. I liked 2009. I even liked saying it. Two thousand and nine. It sounded good. It felt good.

I'm not sure, exactly, what it is I hope for in this next year, this next decade, even, but I know it's good. Great.

That's my job for tonight. To sit down and make it more concrete. Figure out what I want. For real. Because it's always now or never, but decades remind you of the last time you sat at a ten-year-changeover and thought. And then you realize that (to quote Teh Floyd) ten years have got behind you. It happens whether you notice it or not.

Ten years since the panic of year two thousand and the world might just explode when the computers all fail.

But this isn't about the past, this post (although it certainly sounds like it, eh?) This is about the future and I honestly, honestly, feel like Dilling summed it up in her comment the other day. She said she wished me a "new year blessed with nothing other than vibrant, healthy, loving, non-perplexing situations in your family, friendships and personal relationships. . . . .truly . . . fingers and hearts crossed for you . . . . and all your inspiration."

I wish all of us, all of us, the same.

Happy New Year my friends.

I'm sending you love.

Well, Hi!

Hi! How are ya? How was your Christmas? Or non-Christmas? Or whatnot?

This is always a kind of strange week, what with it being mid-holidays and stats and not quite a "real" week but still sort of one and um, hi, did you know it's almost a new decade?

How the heck did that happen?

My holidays have been fine. Unfortunately mainly spent fighting this cold virus. Nasty thing. I have had some wickedly weird dreams though, without the help of cold medication even.

There was even one night where as soon as I found myself falling asleep I slipped right back into where the dream had ended the night before. Now that was weird. Cool idea for a movie or something, if I could remember enough of it.

And there was the "I'm pregnant!"* dream where I went around telling people at work I was a month pregnant and that was weird to wake up from. But man was I excited in the dream.

I think I have tendonitis of the pointer finger, if that's a thing and I really enjoyed this book. (The hunky Clive Owen on the cover got many a kiss as I was reading it. Just... because.)

I slept 15 hours on Boxing Day night. That was an accomplishment. Must have needed it, eh?

So all is well on my front. . . . how about yours?




* Just to clarify, I'm not. Really not. No chance.

Mixed

Using last year's Christmas photo again because a) it's pretty and b) I've been floored by a nasty virus.

So while I'm looking forward to some time off work and seasonal celebrations, I'd really like some time off work and sleeping.

Hoping to be on the mend by the time I'm back in town from Christmas holidays, so I'll wish you all a happy, warm, love-filled Christmas and I'll see you soon.

Hugs,
Victoria

It's All Relative

I was chatting with some of my co-spy-workers today about how much warmer it's been.

There was a pause and I tilted my head in that way that dogs do when they're confused and pointed out that by "warmer" we mean "above zero."

And it's true. After that brrr spell we had the other week, it gets to plus two and we're all, whew, sure is warm these days!

It's kind of funny.

In completely unrelated news, I saw "Iron Man" last night and I loved it! Why didn't anyone tell me before? Well, I'm guessing someone did and I just didn't really listen, but I really enjoyed it, so yay!

And, last but not least for today, can I just say how very very glad I am that the days are starting to get longer again? So very glad, HURRAY!

Heh

I Know This Comic Is From Hallowe'en, But It Seemed Appropriate

Can I go back to sleep now?

The Things You Do Endear You To Me*

So, how *is* your December going?


* (Beatles again)

Look For The Girl With The Sun In Her Eyes But She's Gone*

We're going to have a staff Christmas party tonight. A bunch of spies and their spouses sitting around and having a blast together.

Because let me tell you, we're people who have a lot of steam to blow off.

And I think we invite spouses to limit the amount of spy talk that takes place, although some is inevitable.

What I'm looking forward to is the rumour I heard that someone's bringing Rock Band.

After a drink or two, I make a mean lead singer.

I've just never quite figured out the drums.

I'll leave that up to some other spy!

And, yes, I have a designated driver getting me home, so don't you worry.

Happy Friday, y'all!



* (Beatles, of course)

Won't Escape My Attention*

John Mayer has a twitter account that I check in with every once in a while (My favourite twitter account to check is actually Sundry's, but that's a whole other post.) Last week, he made a comment that's stuck with me ever since. I have it up on a sticky note and I keep looking at it. It's stuck itself in my psyche. It's a truth I'm going to keep on reminding myself:

For all the times we punish ourselves, very few times have we actually done something wrong.




* (Tears for Fears)

They Say That Things Just Can Not Grow Beneath The Winter Snow *

I've had a crush on a married man.

I even currently have a crush on a man who's engaged.

But I won't act on it.

Whenever there's infidelity, there are two people who do it. Two people who knowingly allow the cheating to happen.

I understand hormones and intensity and the appeal of the un-allowed, but there's someone else involved. A husband. A wife. A committed partner.

It's one thing to sit (as I do sometimes) and have dreamy thoughts about an unavailable co-worker. But to be the woman who sleeps with a married man is wrong. Where's the loyalty to your sisters? Where's the respect? Where's your self-worth?

Why do we always focus on the man. What about the woman who *knew* she was entering into a relationship with a man who was already IN a relationship?

I could never do that to another woman. I will never do that to another woman.

I wish we all felt the same way.

* (Sara Bareilles & Ingrid Michaelson)

This Is A Place That I Call My Home*

The passion of musicians inspires me. Moves me to tears.

My first serious boyfriend was a musician. Was a music student when I met him. I can barely remember how we met, but I think he was the friend of a guy who liked a girl I was friends with. Something like that.

I remember listening to him play late one night in the dark of a performance room we'd found open and there was moonlight shining in through one of the windows and the dusty beam of white light just barely illuminated the keys of the grand piano that he was bent over.

"He's channeling God." was the thought in my mind.

This from an 18 year old who'd never been to church.

He's channeling God.

And he was. He did.

I wonder what he's doing now.


* (The Cinematic Orchestra)

You Know It Hurts Me Deep Down Inside*

When I look back on Christmas photos from last year, it's the food I miss the most. Or, really, the food freedom. Like a photo of a gingerbread house reminds me that I used to be able to eat gingerbread houses, even if I didn't want to, at least I could.

I've had a rough week, stomach wise, which is always a little frustrating and scary and sometimes upsetting. I'm going back to the specialist in a month or so to say "hey, listen, are we sure about this diagnosis because I'm not feeling miraculously better, which is what the books promised."

I think the other thing I miss from last year is the snow, and I'm glad I do enjoy snow when it's here. I know winter's only just starting (but, um, hello, how did it get to be mid-December without me really noticing?) so I won't write it off yet, but still, I have photographic and blogographic proof of last year's snow.

Hmmmm. . . perhaps I'm feeling melancholy. Looking over this post it would certainly appear so, eh?

Let's lighten things up shall we?

First of all, a Happy Hanukkah to any/all of you who are celebrating it, and for all of us in this hemisphere, let's look forward to the fact that soon enough, the days are going to start getting longer again! Hurrah!




* I'm going to get some (if not all) of my titles this week from lines from random songs that play while I'm typing. If they match up with and/or inspire what I'm talking about all the better. Bonus points if you can figure out the song. (This is a Zep song.)

Um

Driving is weird.

No, seriously it is.

I realized this yesterday driving home from work.

We're sitting there, in a seat, holding on to a wheel pushing on a pedal that makes the seat we're sitting on move forward. And we're all just sitting there. Sitting there not doing anything in a thing that moves. But we don't.

We just sit there. It's so bizarre.

I almost had to pull over I weirded myself out so much.

Driving's weird.

Caught

I realized the other night that the fourth season of one of my favourite shows, Friday Night Lights, had started and I was able to catch up on a few episodes in a row.

I can't tell you how many times while watching those new episodes I found myself saying, out loud, "Man, I *love* this show." I really do love it and while I rarely make recommendations because I know not everyone shares my taste, I'm going to go ahead and recommend that show. It's good. Damn good.

Another thing I rarely rarely make a recommendation on is books, but once again, I'm going all out on a limb kinda thing here to tell you about these books I read. I plowed through these books. As in, would read a third of the book a night. As in, had to FORCE myself to stop reading them one night so I could sleep. And now that I've read the second book in the series, I'm already anticipating the August release of the final book in the trilogy.

So, knowing, once again, that my taste is not to everyone's ... uh, taste, I just wanted to say that I thoroughly enjoyed both "The Hunger Games" and its sequel "Catching Fire" by Suzanne Collins.

It's been a while since I've enjoyed, thought about, replayed in my head, wanted to re-read immediately after finishing, couldn't stop reading, raced through books like that.

I love getting caught up in good story telling.

I really do.

Seriously!

It's been cold around these here parts these last few days.

And it's funny, because whenever I talk about it being cold, I feel like I have to qualify that statement.

Like, I know it's colder in other places and I know we're not in the minus twenties like some, but still, it's cold.

And if you don't believe me, I always refer back to a conversation I had in first year University with a gal who was born and raised in the Yukon. (That's a COLD place, people.) She told me that she felt it was colder here in Victoria and she wasn't sure why. She said something about how up North, it was a dry cold, but here it was a wet cold and so it got into your bones, and gosh darnit, if someone from the Yukon tells me it's cold here, I believe them!

(And, I overheard a conversation at the gym yesterday between two Ontario transplants saying about the same thing, how it was colder here than "back home" and how they hadn't been expecting cold weather here.)

But aaaaaanyway, it's been cold here. Like, just under freezing-ish. It's -2 at the moment, for example, which my handy dandy degree translating widget tells me is 28, which is kind of mildly cold since there's no wind to make it even wickeder and we're going down to -6 mid week (which don't make me rant about the lack of snow ok? but seriously, if it's going to be cold, it may as well snow amirite?)

The point of my pointing out that it's cold is so that I can tell you what I saw on the way home from work yesterday.

Because I had to do a double take.

Which I did.

Because as soon as I saw it I knew I wanted to tell you guys about it and I didn't want to be wrong.

So it's cold. And when it's cold, we wrap up to stay warm, yes? Yes.

Unless, of course, you are the twenty something year old gal I saw yesterday out walking her dog in her big old fluffy boots and her big old fluffy jacket and her little mini skirt.

AND HER BARE LEGS!

Seriously, I had the heat blasting in my car and gloves on and my fingers were still freezing cold and she was out there with a mini skirt and bare legs.

Dude.

Brrrrrrr.

It's Here

There was a bunch of fun Christmassy stuff that happened this weekend around town.

There was a lighted ship sailing parade a magigy, (one of a few that seem to happen around these here parts!) there was my favourite thing of the season, the lighted truck parade. There was a light up in Cook Street and singing in Cadboro Bay and downtown has carolers and free lit trolley rides and lights up all over and there was stuff in Sidney and all sorts of places I probably just didn't hear about and it's nice to see people doing nice things for others.

So now it's totally time for the snow to come!

Oh, And?

Further to yesterday's going to bed post, I realized something else from this weekend (and to a lesser extent, from yesterday morning.)

You probably don't know this about me, but I love sleeping in. Love, love, love it.

But, when I really think about it, (as I did this weekend) it's the snooze button that I really love.

The falling asleep again for "just a little while longer". I don't know if it's because it feels like I'm winning or getting away with something or if it's that it feels like a treat.

And, in case you think I'm exaggerating, I can hit snooze for hours.

That's right.

Hours!

These Thoughts Are From Three Days Ago, But They Still Count

I was so excited to climb into bed Friday night. (No, there wasn't anyone else waiting in there for me if that's what you're hoping / thinking / guessing.)

And when I asked myself why I was oh so very happy to lie myself down, it was because I knew I had two days off of work. Two days coming where I really didn't have to do anything if I didn't want to. Two days where I could, theoretically, not get out of bed at all and that would be perfectly ok.

It was just such a relaxing, reassuring thought. That I was going to bed and falling asleep into two free days. It was nice. Really nice.

F.Y.I.

Just so you know, I won't be in the malls any time in the next few weeks.

Or month, really.

Too many grumpy, stressed people being grumpy and stressed.

I'm going to stay home instead.

Or, at least, that's the plan!

Eeeee!

Guess what it might do soon?

I'm trying not to get too excited just in case it doesn't manage to quite happen.

But I think I'm maybe already too excited.

Because I likes it!

But I know not everyone else does.

So I haven't told very many people that I'm seriously excited that it might you-know-what soon!

Eeeeeeee!

Aw Nuts!

I read romance novels every once in a while. Usually on a beach during the summer, admittedly, but last month, after a trip to the used book store (Hello, my name's Victoria and I have an addiction to books.) (Hi Victoria) I decided to read a romance to give my brain a mini-holiday.

Man oh man, did it ever fit all my "cheesy romance novel" stereotypes. I'm not exaggerating when I say I rolled my eyes while reading the first chapter.

I really did.

Actually.

Literally.

And for the majority of the book I was groaning at the clichés and formulaic writing and how it all just worked out the way I knew it would and how it reminded me of what I used to think love was like and how I still secretly wish I could find a hunky hunky dream of a man who'd fall for me at first glance, but MAN was this book even cheesy.

But now that I'm done the book and the eye-rolling has ceased and it all worked out happily (just like I knew it would) I find myself missing the characters and wishing I was still reading it.

Go figure.

'Til It's Gone

For the past few months (and the only reason I know this is that it correlates to me buying my car) there's this one light I stop at on my drive to work that's right in front of a coffee shop.

For whatever reason, one morning, I glanced over into the coffee shop and noticed an older gentleman sitting on a stool by the window, drinking from his red re-usable mug, reading his paper.

I smiled to myself, because he seemed cozy and happy, and I drove off to work.

The next morning, again, for whatever reason, when I stopped at that light, I glanced over again to see if he was there.

He was and I smiled and headed on my way.

Months I did this.

Months he was there.

And for all I know, had been there for months before I just happened, for whatever reason, to look over and see him there enjoying his morning ritual.

The reason I mention it now is that I hadn't really noticed I was doing this; looking out for my morning drive buddy, until I noticed him *not* being there a few days ago.

And now I find myself missing him, worrying about him, hoping he's ok.

It's funny the little things that become a part of your life without you even knowing. And the people that are a part of your day without them even knowing.

I wish someone else would start sitting in his seat if he's not going to be there, reading his paper, drinking from his red re-usable mug.

Another Thing

Another thing about my new car?

I finally understand why some people love to drive.

I've found if I drive along beach drive (which is a road along the water here in town) at night with no one there but me and my music and no streetlights to stop me, it's just so relaxing.

And that's nice.

Really nice.

Well Then

I was hit by a thought as I lay in bed last night.



The last man who shared my bed with me, the last man I lay in bed with?


Is now married.


I don't know what I think about that.

Know What?

Hey, did you guys know that today's Saturday?

And do you know what my favourite thing about today is?

I don't have to work!

You may all now proceed with your celebrations.

Woot!

Stephan Pastis Is My Hero

Because this makes me laugh out loud.









Once again, ladies and gentlemen, Pearls Before Swine.

*Wild applause*

Um, You Guys?

I have so many paper cuts on my right hand right now.

Seriously? I have (wait, let me double check) seven.

SEVEN! I have seven paper cuts on my fingers.

And one of them isn't even a paper cut. It's a plastic cut.

And a couple of weeks ago I got a metal foil wrap pack cut.

What's with that? Who gets that many paper cuts on one hand in one week?

Seriously!

Sploosh

I went swimming last week with some friends of mine who have a nine year old daughter.

Now, I've always loved water, but it's been a number of years since I've swum in a pool (as opposed to swimming in lovely salty, tropical oceans such as the one you see here... ahhhhhhh.) as it's just not something I'd do on my own.

The best part about it was the my friends' daughter wanted me to come do all the fun stuff with her. Like go on the rope swing that SWINGS YOU RIGHT INTO THE WATER (and I'd never in my life before used one and how could I have lived this long and not done such a fun thing?)! And then go on the waterslide (that was so much fun I laughed the whole way down and then got right back up there and kept on going back up until they closed the thing at which point I returned to the rope swing.)

Let me tell you, it was so much fun!

I can't wait to go back and see how many times I can go down the waterslide and how high I can splash off of the rope swing.

It so rocked!

Guess What?

So, guess what I just found out? I'm going to be a bridesmaid!

I've never been a bridesmaid before, and so when I asked what my duties were, I was informed that one of my most important jobs would be to make out with the hot, single groomsman.

And let me tell you folks, I'm not one to let my friend down on her big day. If that's what she needs me to do, that's what I'm going to do.



Maybe I should arrange some practice sessions beforehand?

A Peek Inside

So, do you remember way back when, a monthish or so ago, I mentioned, or, didn't mention more like, that I'd met a nice, single, happens to be male, person?

Right, so, we've hung out a few times and I guess I just felt the need to tell you that.

And, no, I don't know where it's going or where it might go, but I am fairly sure that at some point, possibly soonish, I'll let him know that I write here and that's always a weird thing for me, so I don't quite know how I feel about that.

I mean, it's one thing to write about someone knowing they'll probably never read here, but it's another to write about someone knowing that they might. Or will.

Because on the one hand I do like being able to say anything and everything I want on here, but on the other hand, people are entitled to their privacy. Even on an anonymous / pseudononymous (dude, is that a word?) blog.

Lots of times I like to just write whatever it is that comes into my brain down here and somehow in doing that I make a little more sense of it, but what if what I'm making sense of isn't . . . I dunno, isn't what someone else might like to hear? Or what if in trying to babble it out, I say something that someone takes the wrong way and then I'm stuck in a position of having my words taken as proof of something I didn't intend.

And, yes, I am aware that for a friendship or relationship to be a good, healthy one, these conversations should take place between the two people, but don't you think it might be uncomfortable to have those conversations out on the internet where everyone and their cousin can read them and know what your friend or whatever is thinking?

I just don't know. Haven't had that conversation yet. Haven't said "Hey, I have this place, like a personal diary. Except people read it. Sometimes more than two. But they don't know who I am. Except the one or two that do. And so I don't want you to read it. Because if you read it I will have to edit my thoughts and I hate thinking that way. And I think it would be weird if you read it. But if I don't tell you about it that's kind of like lying. Ooops, sorry, my brain just exploded, sorry about the mess."

Plus it's all backwards this time.

Backwards from how I normally start a relationship. Not that I'm starting a relationship. But I would have to say that I'm making an attempt at gaining a single male friend. And I know I've changed a lot since Smith, and I don't think I quite know how to be.

And I don't know how to have a guy friend.

And it's weird.

It's Like I'm Psychic

As I thought, I am heading out of town for a few days on semi-spy related business. (See how I'm trying to throw you off the track there? That's some darn good spy training in action right there my friends!)

I should be back Monday-ish, so in the meanwhile, I'm going to have to ask you guys to hold the fort down around here. Or, is that just "hold the fort"? Wait. I can't leave without the right cliché in place!

(Uh oh, Google says both, now what do I do?)

Recycling is Good for the Environment

After re-finding yesterday's post, I kept on revisiting November 2006 (I really should read my archives one of these days. Sometimes I'm pretty darn funny.) and I found this post, which I decided to re-do, this time, allowing/forcing myself to give two word answers.

Feel free to join in in comments or on your own blog!

Yourself: Currently happy
Your partner: Still waiting
Your hair: Shoulder length
Your mother: Brings smiles
Your father: Very funny
Your favorite item: Not sure
Your dream last night: Don't remember
Your favorite drink: Still Bellinis
Your dream car: Sleek silver
Your dream home: Does exist
The room you are in: My favourite
Your ex: Got married
Your fear: Not knowing
Where you want to be in ten years: Relaxing happily
Who you hung out with last night: Good people
What you're not: Very hungry
Muffins: Can't eat
One of your wish list items: More books!
Time: Is relative
The last thing you did: Ate Skittles
What you are wearing: Bath robe
Your favorite weather: Sunny warmth
Your favorite book: So many!
Last thing you ate: Those Skittles
Your life: Happily great
Your mood: Pretty neutral
Your best friends: Super people
What are you thinking about right now: Typing this
Your car: IS AWESOME!
What are you doing at the moment: Lying down
Your summer: Coming soon?
Relationship status: Not exactly
What is on your tv: Turned off
What is the weather like: Cold rainy
When is the last time you laughed: Last night

Heh

So I was still feeling all grumbly and in a funk-y and I decided that maybe it was a seasonal thing and that I should go back into my old November posts and check if maybe just every November I get in a miserable-type mood of not wanting to do anything.

And then I found this post. And now I feel better!

I mean, come on. How could you not feel better after that?

. . .

I don't feel like talking.

Don't feel like saying anything. I don't feel like typing out a post.

I think it's just that I don't feel like I have the energy to think. Don't have the brain power to think of something to talk about and then talk about it.

Don't feel like sitting down and sorting out what I'm thinking.

And I don't feel like being nice.

Not that that necessarily has anything to do with anything. Just the thought that popped into my head as I was typing.

I'm feeling better physically. The cold is almost entirely gone, and that's good, but I just feel tired and, apparently, whiny.

And I don't want to talk.

Maybe I'll just give myself the week off from blogging.

Maybe I won't.

Guess we'll all have to wait til tomorrow to find out, eh?

Damn, I hate cliffhangers.

Nope

Yeah, not going to manage to unofficially do NaBloPoMo.

I think I might have to travel next weekend anyway and possibly go to Van the weekend after that so instead of trying to think of something to say today, I'm just gonna say nuh uh and take the pressure off of meself.

Ta da!

TGIS

It's Saturday, and I have nothing to say.

Now if you'll excuse me, my couch is calling. So are my blanket and my book.

What's calling you today?

This Just Makes Me Smile So Big

I love Pig:

P is for Pretzels

I miss pretzels.

Pretzels and Cheerios.

Pretzels and Cheerios and French bread and Benny's Sesame Seed Bagels.

Baguettes.

Tempura prawns.

There are only a few foods that I really crave and miss.

That, and the freedom to eat what I want when I want.

If you can eat anything and everything you want all the time? Cherish that. Enjoy it.

It's true what Joni said: sometimes you don't know what you've got 'til it's gone.

I never realized I took Cheerios and pretzels for granted.




PS I know I can get gluten free versions of all these things but I reserve the right to occasionally miss what things tasted like before.

Strong and Free

I'm proud to live in Canada.

I'm proud to be a dual citizen of Canada and the United Kingdom.

I'm proud to spend time today recognizing, remembering and honouring those who have chosen to dedicate their time, energy and lives to serving their countries.



May you have a peace-filled Remembrance Day

Achoo!

So I have a cold again.

Or, quite possibly, have just been fighting off the same cold for a month now, it's hard to tell.

It's a little frustrating to have been feeling not at my best for this long, but I'm telling myself that it's just my body doing a great job at keeping me pretty healthy during this flu season.

Whenever I get this whole runny nose sneezy thing, I'm always grateful that I'm not someone with seasonal allergies, because I'd hate to have this going on for months at a time.

I did get my flu shots a couple of days ago, so that may have something to do with the cold coming back.

How about you? Colds? Flus? Perfectly healthies?

Pouty Face

And now I have Hallowe'en candy withdrawal.

Anyone have any mini O Henry's left?

Here's the Thing

When I feel (and I know it's all in my brain) overwhelmed by a task, I often won't take it on. Such is my issue with NaBloPoMo. (National (really should be international) Blog Posting Month, an offshoot of National Novel Writing Month, NaNoWriMo for those of you lucky enough to not know the cause of the insanity)

I signed up and fully committed to it and succeeded in 2006 (and still have the button to prove it darnit!) when this here blog was brand new.

I didn't do it in 2007 (although apparently I posted multiple times on some days, go figure, so that would probably have evened out in the long run or something) but I did post daily in November 2008 and even mentioned how I was not really but kind of anyway NaBloPoMoing. (And again with the multi-post days, what's the deal November?)

Since that first year, (which must have traumatized me somehow) whenever I get to the end of October I always think about NaBloPoMo and my reaction is NoNoPoMo! I get overwhelmed by the idea of HAVING to write a blog post for every single day of this long, endless month!

Now, mind you, it really, for me, seeing as I tend to write 6 days a week anyway, only boils down to five extra posts which isn't that big a deal. But it's the feeling of committing to it and therefore having to follow through no matter what or else! that makes me not commit.

All this a really long way to say that I might, or might not post every day this month. And if I do, that's awesome. And if I don't? Well, I'll just try not to feel guilty by pointing out to myself that I didn't *actually* say I was going to do it anyway.

Does that make any sense?

I'm not (totally) crazy, right?

Right?

A Plea

Please, please, please! If you ride your bike and you're out past daylight (as in, after 4pm these days) PLEASE make yourself visible.

Last night, I saw a biker get nearly hit by a driver who was turning. It was the scariest thing, but luckily the driver was able to slam on his breaks in time and no one was hit.

I glanced over at the biker as I drove past him, my heart hammering in my chest, he was utterly invisible. No headlamp, no reflective jacket, nothing. He was just a pocket of black hurtling down the street in the dark.

Please, if you bike, or know someone who bikes, even if it's just around the corner, make yourself a glowing ball of visibility. Go overboard. You WANT to be seen.

Anything else is just too dangerous for everyone.

Out of The Mouths of Babes. . .

I'm Godmother to the loveliest little girl there ever was (Don't take offense parents, you *know* I'm allowed to be biased on this one!) and the other day, when we were doing a puzzle together, I asked her if she knew what I was to her.

She nodded and turned to me.

"Yes. You're my Fairy Godmother." she said, very sincerely.

I still haven't wiped the smile off my face.

Fairy Godmother. Awesome.

Anyone need to go to a ball?

Like Gravity!

You know how when something's always been a certain way, you just expect it to always be that certain way?

Like, when the hot water in your apartment is always lukewarm (at best) and so that for as long as you can remember (which is probably a year or two for sure at least) you can turn on the hot water full blast in the shower and it'll maybe, MAYBE (if you're lucky) be kind of tepidly warm?

And because it's always been like that and no one's said they're going to do anything about it you've just kind of gotten used to it?

Well, imagine how upside down the world suddenly becomes when one day, out of the blue you stick your foot into the "it's always nearly cold" shower stream and it's burny burny hot!

I swear, it took my brain a good thirty seconds to process that.

My foot, luckily, processed it right away and got yanked back out.

Kind of makes me wonder what else might just suddenly stop being what I've come to expect it to be.

Things That Make You Go Hmmm

So I'm stuck in my advice giving.

Jonathan and Dominic both came up with questions I just haven't been able to give solid advice/answers to. And so instead of continuing to over-think my answers, I'm just going to answer without thinking and see what comes out.

Jonathan asked "Imagine you are out on a date, and we can hear your thoughts. What are you wanting your date to say - to do - how do you want them to react, to behave to the things you say, and the things you do... and why."

Honestly, I just want him to be relaxed and himself. I'd like him to be polite and kind and thoughtful. It'd be great if we had things in common to talk about and if he was a good conversationalist. Friendly. I would hope that neither of us are trying to impress each other, and instead are just happy to be in each others' company.

I don't know Jonathan, it's such a big question and so many possible answers. First date, eighty first date, I don't know. Plus, I don't know if my idea of a date is really all that traditional. I think I'd just like it to be easy. You know? Not a strain.

So I don't know if that's the answer you were hoping for or what, but that's all I've got after a full month of mulling it over!


Dominic, on the other hand, asked "what you should do when you meet someone who is single, very attractive, you like them a lot, & everyone tells you to go for it.. but you're not actually interested."

And this one completely stumps me.

I mean, I've been in a situation Dominic, where I'm just not attracted to a guy who's otherwise great, or something like that, but I can't say I've ever been in a situation where there's an attractive person I like a lot that I haven't been interested in. I have nothing to pull from, so my gut reaction advice is to say DUDE! GO FOR IT! But seeing that you're not interested, well, yeah. *shrug* I don't know. Maybe just be open to it? I know sometimes people sneak up on you romantically. Maybe, on a deep, serious level, ask yourself why you're not interested? Is it the person, or is there a fear of getting into a relationship?

Or, just shrug at the everyone who tells you to go for it and move on. Whadda I know?




So, I totally need your advice/help on these two questions peeps.

a. What do you want someone to do/say/react like on a date?

and

b. What do you do when you're just not interested in someone?

Groan

I think I had too much candy.

That's right. I have a Hallowe'en hangover.

Remind Me

Why do we keep doing this?


I'm not sure if I'm tired or well rested or if . . .


Well, you get the idea.

Um

I don't think I'm going to be participating in NaBloPoMo (again) this year, but I'm writing this post just in case I change my mind.

I think we call that hedging your bets, no?

BOO!

Just wanted to wish you all a very Happy Hallowe'en.

Don't know if you'll be out trick or treating with young folks, or off to a party with older folks or maybe staying at home to hand out candy or what exactly you'll be up to, but I hope whatever it is, even if it's only staying at home and watching a good scary movie, you have a great time doing it.

I'm not sure what I'm going to get up to, probably something mellowish, but I'm pretty sure there will be (gluten free) candy involved. That much is a guarantee!

Have a great Hallowe'en y'all!

Cool!

Since my car (that's from the future) has Bluetooth capabilities and there's going to be a law around here soon that means you can't talk on your cell phone while driving (unless you're handsfree) I thought I'd go ahead and upgrade my cell phone.

And let me tell you, it's pretty darn cool.

No, that's not true. IT'S SUPER AWESOME COOL!

I mean, it's cool enough that I can call someone without having to actually reach into my bag and find my cell phone, but when someone called me yesterday and MY CAR RANG?! that was super cool.

I swear, I have the coolest car in the universe and I love it and want to pet it and hold it and love it and name it George.

Autumn's Here*

I knew the moment I saw these trees that it would be a beautiful photo.

Actually, I knew before I left the house that there would be beautiful photos to be taken. It was just one of those stunningly beautiful autumn days.

Yvonne asked me one of the harder questions to answer the other week. (Yes, I've been saving the hard ones, waiting for an answer to magically pop into my brain) She said she'd "I'd love a post on your approach to photography." And I've been thinking about it and trying to figure out what exactly my approach to photography *is* ever since.

Y,
Thanks for asking, because it did make me think, but I'm still not entirely sure what to say, but here goes. . .

I take my camera out with me when I head out on a sunny day or to an event or something. (I also take it to family get togethers, but those photos don't get flickred.) And then I start looking.

Sometimes I look for who stands out and what stands out. Sometimes, if I'm in a crowd, I just look for people who are interesting. Bright colours, situations, stuff like that.

If I'm not around people and am taking a picture of things, I don't really know, I just sort of see what it'll look like as a picture and try to frame it that way.

I think for me it's a matter of looking and observing and then trying to recapture what I see on film. (I guess that should be "film" as I haven't brought out my film SLR in years) Sometimes I can't get it and I get frustrated.

I play around with angles and positions when I remember to, but certainly when I'm in a crowd, I'm often too shy for that.

I think my favourite thing about a digital camera is that it lets me take a ton of photos and it lets me see. That way, I can see if I got something I like and I can also take a bunch and find the "best" later.

There's still a part of me that thinks that some of the pictures I took pre-digital were better, but I'm not sure on that one.

Having a camera that loves bright, sunny days also helps.

I think I just love it. And I think my brain sees in pictures.

I do try to think of where things are in the frame and all that kind of stuff, and when I remember, I pay attention to the background and all that jazz.

So I don't know that I really have an approach to photography other than "take pictures".

Look for pictures, take them, delete the bad ones, enjoy it.

And I think a lot of times, I know that the picture is going to remind me of something.

Maybe it reminds me the colour the sky was that particular evening, or how much fun that awesome day I got off of work because of the snow was, or what it was like to be gripping to a relationship that wasn't working, or maybe it reminds me of every single moment of a trip I've always wanted to take. I think my approach is to take the camera with me when there are likely to be lots of opportunities to take photos and to get out and take photos when opportunities present themselves.

Then, once I'm out there, I try to see the picture or the story or the image and then I take it and take it and take it and hope that at some point in there I do.

And when I do?

It makes me happy.

Not sure how enlightening that was Y, but I hope, somehow, it helped,
Victoria

*As an Autumn bonus because I love you:



Hawksley Workman - Autumn's Here (live)

Heh

I totally forgot about this until now, but a few weeks ago, I was over at B and S's house and S and I were noodling around on the computer looking at the guys on the dating site she'd coerced me into signing up for.

For whatever reason (I think the answer to that question is alcohol) we decided to make looking at profiles into a drinking game.

For every time a guy's profile said he was 1)"easy going" 2)"just looking/checking it out" or any time we found a profile where the guy was 3)shirtless or 4)holding a beer, we'd take a sip of our drink.

We thought it was hilarious. That is, until we realized just how many times we were having a sip.

Let's just say, we really didn't need all four.

Within a few minutes we both decided we needed to switch to water and less potent drinks.

Had we kept up, B would have found us both on the floor passed out.

Apparently a lot of guys are just checking out on line dating, and are really easy going guys who like to drink beer and show off their manly chest.

It's still kind of funny though.

Well, at least we thought so.

.

If you've flown, you've more than likely experienced turbulence.

If you've flown over particular places, or in particular weather, you'll know that there's turbulence, and then there's Turbulence with a capital T; the stuff that makes you grip the arm rests and hope.

I'm having a bit of turbulence in my life right now, but it's just the little t kind.

You know what I mean, right? Where things are bumpy and maybe tricky or uncomfortable or upsetting, but it's not major. You're ok, just need to get through it. It's handleable. No arm rests being gripped.

It's been a little rough at work for the strangest reasons.

My physical recovery from the car accident has backslid (do you backslide? or do you some other term?) and I'm in more pain than I have been in for a while.

Hanging out with a new guy, whether or not it's something that will turn into a friendship or a relationship or a "I knew this guy once"ship, still brings up emotions and "issues", for lack of a better term.

So just some minor turbulence. Should be flying through it soon.

Just a little bumpier than usual.

Dude

Do you ever get to the end of the weekend and you could SWEAR you hadn't had a weekend yet?

Yeah.

The Reason Angels Can Fly is Because They Take Themselves Lightly

Unrelated thoughts flying and fluttering through my mind:

- So You Think You Can Dance always always always introduces me to wonderful new songs. The Cinematic Orchestra is the latest such introduction. Awesome.

- Nice people make me smile.

- I think I've finally found a nail polish colour I could wear every day. Now if only it would stay unchipped for more than two days in a row.

- I have the deepest paper cut ever. Seriously. I think my thumb might split in two. Gross, right?

- Sometimes I run into an old post of mine when searching for something and I really like what I've had to say. Makes me think I should sit down one of these days and re-read my life.

- Now that's a weird thought.

- Sometimes I forget it's 2009.

- I think it's because my car's from the future.

- TGISaturday

- Technically, the first CD I ever bought was "Houses of the Holy" I bought it out of someone's locker at school because he didn't want it anymore. This proves my awesomeness, no?

- The first CD I ever bought for reals was "Nevermind". I bought it at A&B Sound. No one was really sure about the whole "CD" thing. How were you supposed to make a mixed tape with them there things? Ahhhhh, mixed tapes. No one has matched your awesomeness.

- I'm hungry

When?

I was joking with someone yesterday that no one told us how to grow up and when did all this life stuff happen and how is it that we're suddenly dealing with kids and mortgages and marriage and real life grown up stuff, aren't we just still sixteen sitting in the parking lot at lunch, waiting for the bell to go so we could be one class closer to the weekend?

It's funny. But it's not.

When did I become an adult? Can I change my mind? Can I get a refund and go back to simpler times. . . things?

Huh.

This Picture is as Close as I Could Come to Nunchucks in my Photostream. Go Figure.

A question was thrown at me by TheClock that has taken up the better part of my brain for the last few weeks:"Which of the following characteristics would you prefer in a man/ boy/ male/ masculin person?

a) Competent dancer
b) Competent musician
c) IQ of 180+
d) NUNCHUCK SKILLS
e) Well endowed.... you know"

TC,

Well, ok, knowing that girls only want boyfriends who have great skills. You know, like nunchuck skills, bow hunting skills, computer hacking skills, the answer should be pretty obvious. D!

Heh.

No, but seriously, I would love a boyfriend who was a competent dancer and musician. Not sure which one first. Probably dancer, then musician. After that it's kind of, "eh, whatever". See, if he's too smart, what'll we have to talk about? And if he has awesome nunchuck skills, he might accidentally knock me out when practicing one evening. And as for well endowed you know, well, I hate to be the one to break it to you, but it ain't the size, it's what you do with it that matters. Really.

So. There you go.

Hope you can rest your mind on that one now,
Victoria

Girls, any input on this? What're you looking for out of these fine choices?

Continuance

So Tom was wondering about when "You're on a bus, train or plane travelling somewhere. The guy next to you starts talking to you - how do you respond? How does he start talking to you without seeming like a freak?"

So, Tom,
If I take this as a two part question, I guess how I respond has to do with my interest level not only in him but in how long my journey is and how much I feel like talking to anyone. Sometimes I might just want to zone out and not talk to anyone on the trip, but, then again, I've never been lucky enough to sit next to a single, attractive male (or, really any male other than a family member if I think about it) so I'm not talking from experience.

How could he start talking to me without seeming like a freak? Well, just to start up a casual conversation about something. Am I reading something? Then he could ask me about the author. Am I doing work or playing on a computer? He could use that as a polite way to talk to me. Or maybe he needs to pass my drink of water to me (I like the window seat, you see) or ask me for something. Just any sort of casual starter would work, and then he could go from there. You know, introduce himself, etc.

That make sense?

Hope that helps,
Victoria

What about you guys, ever found a good way to strike up a conversation with someone while travelling without seeming freakish?

Sweet

I saw a So You Think You Can Dance audition with this wicked kid dancing to a song I fell madly, instantly in love with.

And kind of can't stop listening to now.

Enjoy:



If it Kills Me - Jason Mraz

Mended

This was an odd mix of a weekend for me, but a good one in the end.

I spent some of it, well, ok, a day and a half of it, fighting off a nasty cold/flu bug that decided to pick on me.

My mid-Saturday, I was feeling all sorry for myself and melancholy and looking up ex-boyfriends on the internety.

So, figuring that it was a "I'm sick and tired. . . literally" induced bum out, I went to bed early and slept it off.

It's interesting, I noticed, how differently people seem to be treating colds and flus right now. How much more willing people are to encourage you to stay home and get better. Which I did.

I also have a pregnant co-worker (yes, girl spies sometimes to have babies, you know!) and so I'm doing my best to keep my germs away from her. Had I not been feeling so much better by Sunday, I would have stayed off for another day or so.

I hope this is the worst sickness I get this season, and I'm glad to be feeling better.

Shhhhhhhhh

So, as I sort of said the other day, C (she who famously introduced me to Smith and who was with me when we were smushed up in her car earlier this year) has, for a while, told me I should meet her friend. I think she first mentioned him a year and a half ago or so, but I wasn't interested in a relationship then.

C had a get together at the end of July and I forgot about it and didn't go, but apparently this guy was there and asked C why I wasn't.

Then work got busy. Crazy busy. And I called C up one day and told her that I needed to think about something, anything, besides work and would she give my number to that guy or something?

So she did.

And he called, and we went out on a "nice to meet you" kind of date and he was nice. It was nice and he was nice. And we'll probably do it again.

And it's not that there's a but, but there's a but.

Because I don't want to think about it too much or talk about it too much. I don't want to get wrapped up already in thinking about something that doesn't exist.

I don't want to start thinking about someone before I even know if he's someone I want to be thinking about.

Even if I suspect he might be.

I don't want to rush. I just want it to happen if it happens. I don't. Want. To. Think.

So that's all I know. And that's all it has to be.

This is all it has to be: I met a nice person who happens to be a single male.

And that's all it is.

End of discussion.

I need you on board with me on this. It's not anything and that's more than ok.

Now let's pretend I never said anything, ok?

Advice, Continued

Ms Behaviour, or as I like to call her "Ms B", asked if I had any advice on "How to tell if he's uber metero or gay? Especially if he is being super friendly/demonstrating signs of being interested."

Ms B, this is a hard one, but one that I kind of have experience with. Sort of. (I had that cute temp spy worker guy who was super friendly and actually ended up asking me out for coffee, where he mentioned his partner. Who turned out to be another man. Which I hadn't seen coming.)

But I guess my advice may be more frustrating than helpful. Unfortunately, neither uber metro nor gay guys carry identity cards. So it's not like you can steal their wallet and rifle through to find the card that will tell you. The only way to find out is by actually . . . finding out.

My advice would be to ask him. Maybe not a tactlessly direct "So, does you like the ladies or the menfolks cuz I find you dishy but don't know if you'd kiss me?" but more of a "Tell me about your last relationship, where did you guys meet?" and then often during that conversation they'll mention their name or something. But keeping it in mind that often, in my experience, people may not be comfortable outing themselves until they know you well enough to be safe and so they may still just refer to their "partner".

I think the other advice I'd give you would be along the lines of "if he likes you, he'll let you know." I know sometimes we get all wrapped up in those "signs of being interested" as we interpret them, but usually if he is genuinely interested, he'll let you know. You won't have to guess.

It's hard to give great advice on this one without knowing more about how you know this guy and what your relationship with him is like, but I'd say the easiest way is to talk to him about it.

Hope that helps,
Victoria

What do you guys think? Any advice for Ms Behaviour? (Please note the "u" in her name. Go Canadian Spellings!)

A V.I.P.*

Jenn, Jenn! Are you ok?

Poor Jenn, six months pregnant and left me a question about ice cream days, no, WEEKS! ago and I left her hanging. Bad blogger, bad, bad, blogger. Sigh.

Ok. Jenn, here goes!

Jenn said "I'm 6 months pregnant, and out of ice cream. This? Is tragic. So....what kind of ice cream should I get? (Cookies and cream is getting old....)"

Jenn,
You're right, out of ice cream at 6 months? Yikes! (My friends who have had babies all nodded in agreement when I told them about your problem!)
And I can only try to help you with some suggestions of my favourites. How about any ( or possibly all?) of these?

Moose Tracks

Mint Chocolate Chip

Double chocolate

Can I go out on a limb and suggest Orange Sherbet?

Hope this helps Jenn!
Victoria

(Any other suggestions for awesome ice cream flavours y'all?)



*Very Important Post

Version Two

This was my first Thanksgiving dinner (or any big family dinner for that matter) where I knew I couldn't eat certain things.*

My sister in law was good about it and cooked the stuffing separate from the turkey and made sure she bought a plain turkey (not basted or flavour injected or anything).

It was still hard though, because I used to love dipping my white dinner roll in the leftover gravy on my plate, and I used to love eating the pie for dessert.

I know these things could have been made gluten free, but you can't really be a guest in someone's house and ask them to completely alter their cooking habits. So, no gravy, rolls, stuffing, or pie for me. *sniff*

So this year I missed out on a few things, but all in all, I was happy to have been there and the turkey was delicious.

Next year I think I'll bring my own pie. Because it just ain't Thanksgiving without pie!

*For those of you new to these here parts, I've got Celiac disease and can't have a lot of traditional, yummy, Thanksgiving-esque foods due to its having gluten.

Truth

I think that the best part of going away is how comfortable your bed is when you finally get to lie down in it again.


Best. Sleep. Ever.

Thanks

Before I run off for the long, turkey day, weekend, I wanted to give you all a big virtual hug and kiss and tell you how grateful I am that I have this space to write in and babble in and share my every thought I feel like sharing in.

Have a good Thanksgiving if you're having one, or a good Columbus day (what exactly that is I'm not sure) or a good just plain old regular weekend if it's not a long one for you.

Thanks for being you, y'all.

See you in a few days!

Vicariously

It's Friday. Yay!

Double, triple, quadruple yay!

So, tell me, what exciting things are you doing this Friday?

I'm planning on coming home from work and lying on my couch until it's late enough to go to bed and sleep. I know, awesome right?

Because I'm so (still) tired and un-lively, please entertain me with the plans you have for this weekend and I'll live vicariously through you.

While lying on my couch waiting for bedtime.

So what are we doing this weekend?

Woah

Apparently this is my 1000th post.

One thousand?

I had no idea there was that much thinking going on inside my head.

Happy First . . . um. . . Millenium? Postenium?*





*I think we should celebrate. Let's all have something either tasty or yummy or chocolatey or fizzy/champagny or all of the abovey today!

Living Up to the Name

(Please read the first paragraph in a serious voice, as if you're narrating a documentary or something, kay? Kay!)

And now the first in a small but well meant series of posts wherein Victoria actually gives advice and pretends to know what she's talking about.

So, Doodlebug, first and most importantly would like us to give help and support to the Phillippines after the typhoon and flooding and then second typhoon that has devastated the country. Please do what you can and ask others to help as well.

And so while we're send good wishes, Doodlebug would also like advice on "how not to fall or get infatuated on some celebrity or just somebody who is completely out of your reach." So, here goes:

Dear Doodlebug, (This is how you're supposed to start advice columns, right?)
I think celebrity's are the easier one to handle here and my advice would be to remind yourself that the person they are isn't necessarily the person we get to see. So it's a good idea to remind yourself that it's ok to have a crush on a celebrity while remembering that they're not really a "real" person. We tend to have crushes on their media presented personality.

If you tell yourself that and then find you *still* have a crush on them (because maybe you tell yourself that their real personality is even BETTER than their media version, um, not that I've ever done that, ahem) then maybe you could tell yourself little stories about imaginary flaws that they have that would just not make them a good match for you! You know, like how So-and-So never puts the cap back on the toothpaste and therefore is just not worth dating.

As for "real life" people who feel like they're out of your reach, I find it easier to remind myself that we're all on the same level so no one's really out of anyone else's reach. That being said, there are certainly some people whose lifestyles probably won't cross with ours (Brad Pitt, for example, is most likely never going to walk into my workplace, *sigh*) and so it's maybe better to focus on people who are already within our circles, so to speak.

So, in a nutshell (because I'm not sure I'm making much sense), I think if you remind yourself that celebrities are only pretend versions of the real person, almost as if they're a character on a tv show, you can keep the crush at a fun level.

Maybe pretend all celebrities are cartoon characters or something.

Hope that helps,
Victoria


What do you guys think? How do you keep your celebrity/out of your reach crushes from turning into infatuation/I think I love them type situations?

Heh

Another story from Symphony Splash this summer. . .

I was there with some friends of mine and one of them was eagerly scanning the crowds for cute, potential boyfriend type guys.

For me. (Since the other person we were with was her husband.)

After we'd been there for a while, she nudged me. "What about the guy in the blue shirt behind us?" she asked, and I turned around all casual like, to check him out.

And when I saw him, my first thought was "Yeah, he's cute." And my second thought was "Um, yeah, I know him. How?"

Turns out the cute guy my friend picked out of the crowd was a guy I'd gone on a coffee date with last year.

I guess she has pretty good taste, eh?

Zonked

Holy smokes I'm tired.

Woke up yesterday tie-tie-tired and sort of feel like I'm fighting off a cold. Which is better than having a full blown cold for sure, but still.

Kind of feel like it's my body's reminder that I need to take care of myself while I'm all stressy and busy and whatnot.

I'm hoping that work will settle down soon, ish, but I still have another couple of weeks that I know will be hard. Meanwhile, my parents are doing well after their car accident and the weather this weekend was gorgeous and it's sometimes hard to believe it's already October.

How are you?

Um

I can't remember. . . did I mention the new, cute, slightly older, maybe a potential spy at work? Or the guy my friend C thinks I should meet? Or the fact that Costco had Christmas stuff for sale in July?

Happy and Proud

I sometimes leave myself a note on a Post-it that is a reminder to blog about something, which is my way of explaining why today's post talks about something that happened nearly two months ago.

At the start of Symphony Splash this year (August 2nd, why?) the announcer comes on and says "Please rise for the singing of O Canada."

Now, I'm sure they do this every year, but this is the first year I've been there for the start. (I usually head down later.) So to see the thousands of people down in the inner harbour stand up and sing along to the national anthem was something awesome for me.

It was great to see, and really made me feel proud and happy and like a genuine member of a group of proud Canadians.

I don't know why I found it so cool, I just did.

We rock.

Adjusting

I've had my (oh so totally awesome) new car for a couple of months now and I'm only just starting to feel comfortable parking it.

For those of you who don't live here, we've got us some tight little parking lots that are pretty ugly to maneuver around. And to be honest? I've avoided them.

Or, in some cases, if the spot was too tight? I've driven back out and decided to come back another time.

Sometimes I've parked farther away from stores because that was where it was easier to park.

A few times I've had to re-park because I was ridiculously close to the other car.

I'm getting better though. Really.

Repeat. Repeat. Again. Repeat

I've been playing this song over and over and over this past two weeks.
Over and over.
It's not the first time this song has had repeat status, but the first time it's had repeat status for such an extended period of time.

You can watch the official video here or listen to it here:


Winter Song - Sara Bareilles & Ingrid Michaelson

Or watch this video of the making of the song, which I love to watch and (not so secretly) wish I was doing for a living.


Sara Bareilles and Ingrid Michaelson "Winter Song"

I think it's more the spirit, energy and sound of the song right now than the lyrics, although they certainly contribute.

Listen. Repeat. Listen. Repeat.

Listen.

Sweet Sweet Distraction

Do you know what we need around here?

Some advice!

I mean, what's the point of having a blog with the word "Advice" in the title if I don't have any advice to randomly hand out to?

(Also, I need some distraction)

So. Peeps. I needs you.

Ask me something, any old thing, and I'll write up an answer/advice post.

Keeping in mind that I'm not really an expert, but it'll be fun, right? Right!

So, what do you need advice on my darlings? Let me have it.

Weekend Warrior

I haven't been keeping up with the local news, or any news for that matter, lately. So the only reason I knew that one of Victoria's hospitals had just opened a new Emergency room is that that's what my Mom told me as she lay immobilized on a bed in said Emergency room after someone had accidentally driven into my parents' car an hour earlier.

My parents are fine. Bruised, battered, injured, sure, but fine. Walking. Mobile. Fine.

I'm having trouble falling asleep, the video of my parents being taken to emergency in ambulances after the firemen break them out of their car plays in my head once the lights to out, and all the "what ifs" I thought about after my own accident are back with a vengeance. And now with a second story.

But they're ok.

It's ok.




It's so easy to judge when you don't understand the situation. It's easy to tell people how to parent their children when you're single and child-less yourself. It's easy to tell single people to just get out there and find their soul mate when you're happily married to yours. It's easy to know better when you only know a little. So I try not to.

I'm not a political person, and I don't understand or know the details of the situation with health care in this province, buut I'm pretty sure that everyone there was doing their best. I just wish they'd been able to do more. Sooner. While the building and room seemed very nicely designed, where was the staff? Why was it hours before my Mom was seen and hours after that before my Dad was seen? (And, yes, I understand triage and priorities.)

Maybe that's just how it is in Emergency.

What do I know anyway? I know we're lucky to have the health care system we do and I'm grateful for that. I know it was stressful for all of us and I know the doctors and nurses all care about what's best for their patients and I'm grateful for their efforts. It's an important, difficult job. I just hope they're getting the support they deserve, and I suspect they're not.

At the end of it all, I'm thankful my parents are ok. I'm glad things weren't worse. I'm glad I was able to be there for them. I hope their recovery is quick.

Go hug your loved ones.

Comfort

I had a dream last night that was the bestest dream ever.

Heidi Klum hung out with me all evening talking to me about anything and everything. It was like we were best friends/sisters, but also like she was my babysitter. And when it was bedtime, she tucked me in and told me she'd be there in the morning when I woke up.

And dudes? It was the best dream because Heidi Klum (according to my dream) is the sweetest, kindest, loveliest person ever. I'm *so* hoping I can go to sleep tonight and Heidi'll be there again.

Best. Dream. Ever.

Unexpected

My closest friend at work just got engaged, and I'm so very happy for her.

Over the past year or so, I've watched her fall more and more in love with her boyfriend and when she told me he'd proposed I felt like calling him up and asking him what took him so long.

She asked me to go with her to look at wedding dresses over the weekend, and I was happy to do so. Strangely enough, this isn't something I'd ever done before. That I hadn't done it before then made me feel a little bit sad even though I've only had a few girlfriends get married, (many of my close friends were already married by the time I met them or at the time I met them, we didn't know each other well enough to share that kind of experience) and we didn't live in the same town at the time so it wouldn't really have been easy to do, it still felt somehow lonely to realize that I'd never been asked before.

I cried those happy proud tears watching her and how beautiful she looked in the dresses and it was great.

That evening, however, it all just seemed to creep up on me.

Most everyone, it seems, is getting married. Having babies. Newly in love. Trying on wedding dresses. Proposing to their girlfriends. Getting pregnant.

I'm not.

Not any of those things.

Not close to most of them.

I guess I just keep the hope that I'm close to being newly in love.

Maybe it's just around the corner.

I was just surprised by how hard it hit me sitting home alone, knowing it wasn't me trying on those dresses with a sparkly ring on my finger and a smile lighting up my face.

It wasn't jealousy, it just hurt.

O is for Orgasm of Course!

I figured out that title in my Alphabet saga a while ago, but I've been sitting staring at the title since.

Because, while there are a ton of things I could say about orgasms, I can't seem to say them out loud.

I mean, "out loud" as in on this blog.

I can sit around with girlfriends and talk and laugh and share about them and I'm sure I'd be able to talk about them with a boyfriend or something, but here? I... just can't quite bring myself to.

Sure, I could say "Gee, I like them there orgasms" but isn't that kind of... a given? Obvious? Taken for granted?

Or I could talk about a lady I knew (I suppose I still know her, she hasn't vanished or anything) who was forty-something and still hadn't had one and how I didn't know what to say to her when she told me, but that just is too big of a topic to go into.

Anything else I can think of to talk about is just a bit too personal, even for an anonymous blog like this.

So maybe I'll just leave it with this and call it a day:

Any of you ever faked an orgasm? Men? (Oh, and men, don't tell me it can't be done, because it *so* can. I've already had this conversation with guy friends you see!)

(I have, but I had to. Really.)

(Wow, this is totally one of those posts I hope my Mother never reads.)

(Hi, Mom! It's all just pretend, okay? Okay.)

(Whew.)

Gimmie a Break

This? This warning that work was about to become whateverly seriously hard was so so not an exaggeration.

Although my sanity wishes it had been.

I've reached a breaking point of sorts, which is making me feel like the only thing that will keep me sane is a vacation, which is funny in a not funny kind of way, not to mention improbably impossible.

Ok, so I don't talk about work, I get it, but here's the thing. As soon as I got back from my holiday (which seems like forever ago, not just two weeks-ish ago) I was thrown into the high-stress world of spy work in a more than slightly intense way. And do you know what flew out the window?

Any desire I had to talk to and/or meet with guys from that site S signed me up on. I just don't have it in me. I don't even have the energy to check the email message thing. So, so tired and busy and stressed and not interested in putting my non-existant extra energy into it.

Just one thing too many to juggle. Isn't it funny that that's the first thing to have gone?

When I think about it, I wouldn't mind meeting up with some friends and running into a single friend of theirs while we were out kind of thing, but the idea of chatting to a complete stranger right now is just too much.

Hopefully things will mellow out. Soon? Ish?

Sigh.

Dude

I just ate a Nerds that was the size of a blueberry.

Seriously.

Strange thing though? It didn't taste any more flavourful. I totally expected it to.

But still. Blueberry sized!

Pleasant Company

Fall's here, in a gentle sort of way.

It's like the season has arrived and instead of barging in and taking over, it has just quietly arrived at the doorstep and has knocked a couple of times and when you open the door, it's just standing there smiling, politely asking if you'd mind if it came in for a while.

It's not really even like Summer's over, just that it's crisper, mellower, less intense. It's falling asleep.

There was a sunset last night that was pastels and glowy. I was so glad to have stumbled across it, and am glad for whatever it was that pulled me outside at that particular time.

I don't mind the changing seasons, and really, what's the point in minding? They're going to come no matter what.

Change is that one thing you can't control, yeah? So you may as well enjoy it.

Especially when it invites itself in so politely.

Random

I wonder if I've ever known the last time I was going to sleep with someone was the last time I was going to sleep with them?

P.S. Arrrr, happy International Talk Like a Pirate Day me mateys. Avast!

Too Late

I am slowly going crazy,


One, two, three, four, five, six, switch


Crazy going slowly am I


Six, five, four, three, two, one, switch.

A Whole New World*

My parents happened to be over visiting when the window cleaners came for their semi-annual outside window cleaning.

My Dad, always awesome, offered to clean the inside of the windows once the guy was gone and we'd pulled the blinds back up. (I always put the blinds down if I'm home when they come or know they're coming. Otherwise it's just weird.)

I thought about it a bit as he Windexed away and realized I couldn't remember the last time I'd washed my windows. Or wiped them, for that matter.

Well, let me tell you, I had *no idea* windows could get that clean!

It's like there's no window there at all.

Maybe I should clean them more than once every few years, eh?

Thanks Dad!




*Sorry if you're now singing that song. I know I am. Sorry. But at least I didn't link to it, right? Cuz that'd have made it stick in your head even worse.