You Know Something?

This dating thing is hard.

And I don't mean that to say that it's, like, the most challenging thing I've ever done or anything, but it's certainly tiring in it's own way.

And when I think about it, I think it's because there's not that ease of being with someone you know well. Like, when you're with your friends, there's no need for anyone to be anything other than what they are. And there's no feeling of forcing anything.

Now, don't get me wrong, I'm not trying to be someone I'm not and I'm not putting on a show, but I'm a good judge of people and I can tend to feel what other people are feeling so I can feel the "nervous" energy of someone and I can hear it in their voice when they're forcing a laugh and I can see it in their body language when they're not relaxed. And that's tiring for me.

And maybe some of you will say that these are signs that the person I'm dating isn't the right person, that when it's the right person things just work and just click, but I don't know that I agree.

Things were awkward with Smith and I that first time he flew out to stay, the difference being that we'd already slept with each other which gave me that feeling of intimacy. Which felt real at the time, but when I look back on it, he was still just a stranger sharing my bed.

But that's not the point, I don't think. I think the point is that now that I've hung out with this new guy a couple of times, it's such a contrast to that feeling of close connection and ease I remember from being in a relationship.

And even Bird and I had a good closeness that meant we didn't have to try (even though maybe we should have.)

It's just different.

It's different to be in a place of having to get to know someone from scratch while remembering what it felt like to be close and connected and intimate with someone.

Sorry, I'm not sure I'm making sense.

Am I?

In Case You Were Wondering

The gym's almost back to pre-New-Year's-resolution busyness .

This makes me happy.

Confession

You know those red "pull in case of fire" things?



Yeah, well, lately, when I walk by one?



I really want to pull it.

Drawing a Blank

I don't gots no post today because when I sat down to write one, this is pretty much what my brain kept saying:

(Clicky here, because when I put the linky in it's too big for the bloggy.)

Which meant I wasn't actually able to think of anything.

Wow

The slightly weird and spacey state of mind I've been in lately is apparently still with me.


Last night, after my shower, I leaned over to pick something up off of a table and thought "Hey, wow, what's that smell, it's so nice!"


And then realized it was me.



Good thing I'm going to bed early these days, huh?*





*Wait, what does that have to do with anything?

Nightline, With Angella D

On Angella's blog, Dutch Blitz, the other day, she answered five questions that had been asked, sort of like an interview. Then she offered to "interview" anyone else who wanted and I said, sure, that sounded like fun!

So, here are the questions Angella asked me and my answers.

1. Why do you blog and what got you started? (I always love to hear people's stories on this)
I'd been reading (and enjoying) blogs for a couple of years when I started to write blog posts in my head. I'd "hear" them in my head and then kind of chuckle to myself over them and then I found they'd just stick in my head and not go away. So after I'd written a couple (still in my head) I decided I may as well write them out in a blog and see what happened. Since I've always enjoyed blogs that had photos, and love taking photos myself, I decided to include photos every second day in my blog as well.
Why do I blog? Well, in part to get that inner dialogue out. In part to connect with other people. (Man, was I ever excited when I got my first comment) But, in part, I don't really know why I do it. It just works for me and I've found that when I say something that was hard for me to say and someone thanks me for saying that because it helped them in some way I feel really good. So, I guess in a way, I do it in the hopes that sharing my journey may just make someone's journey a little easier. *shrug*


2. If you could travel to anywhere in the world, where would it be?
There are so many places I still want to see. I want to see the Northern Lights, I want to see Greece and Africa (so many countries there to visit) and Asia and Brazil and India and everywhere. But if I could go anywhere right now to relax for a few weeks, I'd either go back to the Mayan Riviera or Maui. Ahhhhhhhhh. *dreamy sigh*
But, my short answer would be Africa. I've always wanted to go and learn and play traditional African music in Zimbabwe or South Africa.

3. What would your dream job/career be?
Hmmmm. I'm not sure I know a label that would fit. I would love to be paid to not have to do anything. That may sound like I want to be a lazy bum, but I just mean that I'd like to *not* have to be somewhere every morning and have a job that felt easy and relaxing and fun. I'm not entirely sure what that would look like or be. But, maybe something creative. Photography, painting, something that allowed me to just be and do and enjoy and relax while bringing in enough money to allow me to feel secure and comfortable. Know anyone who's hiring for that magic, un-named job? All that being said, I do enjoy what I'm doing now and think most days are pretty darn good. (Ask me again in a couple weeks when it's crunch/deadline time though and I may have a different answer for you. Heh.)

4. Will you ever post a photo of your face online?
The short answer? No.

5. What are your top five favorite songs?
I wasn't sure how to answer this, so I thought I'd let iTunes answer for me. I brought up my playlist and took at look at my top played songs, but I kept saying "that's not my favourite . . . that's not my favourite either!" So that didn't help much. With music, I usually have a few favourites of the time that change as the year or season or whatever (me?) changes.
But, bar none, my favourite music group is Led Zeppelin, so if I look at them as my favourite, and then try to pick my favourite songs of theirs, I'd be able to narrow it down to the following, so I hope that's a long way of eventually getting around to answering your question!

That's the Way
The Rain Song
Bron-Yr-Aur
Thank You
and (man this is hard)
Ten Years Gone

(and if you don't think I changed my mind on the last two a few gazillion times, you're wrong!)




So if you'd like me to "interview" you, let me know (and I'll try to figure out how to email you! ) Or, to switch things up a little, if you'd like to "interview" me, leave me your questions in the comments and I'll answer them in another post!

I've Been Putting This One Off For A While

I don't know how to start this post so I'll just jump right in.

Back in October, I wrote this post about how I'd considered signing up for and then got really freaked out by the idea of on-line dating.

Well, what I never told you (and I've been feeling guilty about it since, sorry!) is that I eventually did sign up.

I guess I figured I may as well see what the experience was like, and I liked Laura's advice:

"If you do decide to try it at some point in the future, try not to look at signing up for the dating service as equivalent to jumping into a long term relationship, or don't even freak out about whether you're ready for that :) The thing is, it's just a method of bringing two people together. From there, you'll have conversations with someone, and it will take on a life of its own. If you really have a good connection with someone, you'll just be dying to meet them in real life. And until you get that feeling, I don't think you should bother having a first date."

So I signed up.

And the experience was weird. And uncomfortable. And with a few exceptions, I was "matched" with people that I just wasn't interested in getting to know.

And then I felt guilty because I was judging people on a profile and maybe a picture (and I felt even guiltier because I didn't even have a photo of me on there so how was it fair for me to judge people based on their photos) and when my paid subscription came to an end I decided I'd delete my profile and call the experiment closed.

Except, right at the last moment I was matched with a guy who looked pretty cute, and seemed pretty nice. So I signed on for another couple of months to give it one last shot.

So, why, you may ask, am I telling you all this now? Why am I finally confessing to you guys that signed up for (and did not really like) on line dating?

Because this weekend, I met, in real life, the cute guy.

And I thought you deserved to know.

So now you know.

I had a date.

It was good.

He seems nice.

The End.

(For now.)

I still don't really like on line dating though.

But you go ahead and try it if you want.

My Best Valentine's Day Ever

I think that Saturday may just have been my best Valentine's Day ever!

The day itself was nice and mellow, sunny and beautiful.

In the evening I went to the gym and it was totally dead, which was nice because I could imagine everyone out having their Valentine's dates. Because there weren't many people there, I decided to go on to one of the treadmills with a tv after I'd finished my half an hour on the plain treadmill.

And here's where things got awesome! I got to see, on the tv treadmill, the ending of Reality Bites, which I remember at the time it came out, was what I thought romance was all about, what with the part where she runs off to fly out to see him but when the cab comes HE'S in the cab cuz he's flown out to see her and oh they love each other and ahhhhhh no more angst.

So as if that wasn't awesome enough, when that was over, I got to see the last fifteen minutes of Pretty in Pink which is when all the best stuff happens and even Duckie ends up with a hot girl and the end and yay! And it was just perfect.

Then I picked up some groceries, came home, had a nice bath, ate some yummy food, and went to bed in my freshly washed sheets.

All in all, probably my best Valentine's Day ever, it was really nice.

Happy Valentine's Day, Y'all

In unrelated news:



Oh, and? I love you guys!

Be my Valentines?

Hmmmm

There was a post already written in my head, I swear, but between the drive home and my trip to the gym and then the shower and catching up on some blog reading, the post is all gone bye bye.

Which is really not all that surprising considering I tried to leave work without my car keys.

And then when I stopped to get gas I locked the car door as if I was parking and leaving the car there for a while.

I may be somewhat lacking in brainpower right this moment.

So, um, hi! Have a good Friday.

Mellowing Out

My brother sent me some CDs for my birthday and I wanted to share a song from one that I'm currently loving. I'll throw in a beautiful picture too so we can all imagine we're mellowing out on a beach somewhere without a care in the world. Ahhhhh.




Bon Iver - Re:Stacks

Woah

So, usually when I use crazy glue (or whatever it's called) I get a little bit on my finger and it's no big deal.

This time, however was different.

I guess the tube/container thingy didn't like being stored sideways because when I pulled the lid off, this big ol drop came out and attached itself to my left index finger.

I kind of stared at it, went ahead with the job I had to do and then went back to staring at the now hardened, blob of crazy glue that was on my finger and in and over my fingernail.

I tried to pull it off, but, apparently that only works when there's a mere fragment (and by the way, the middle finger that I did pull the fragment off of? Feels very owie. I don't recommend my "pulling" method y'all)

Thank goodness for the internet and thank goodness I like having pretty red toenails.

For future reference, nail polish remover did the trick and saved me from having to make a really embarrassing trip to a clinic. Imagine that conversation, if you will:

"Um, hi. I have a glob of crazy glue stuck on the end of my finger. Help?"

Where Were We?

I was sitting here listening to some darn good tunes and wondering what I might write a post on, when "Thick as a Brick" from Jethro Tull came on.

I have a mad love affair with the song and wanted to make a post using the song. But a little part of my brain (or should that read a part of my little brain? heh) spoke up and said that it thought I had already posted something with that song in it.

So a blog search later I ran across the post, which, sure enough talked about Jethro Tull and "Thick as a Brick". The post, in fact, was called "J is for Jethro Tull . . . And?" and I was pleasantly surprised to be reminded of something I was doing a while ago when I was stuck for something to blog about, or couldn't figure out what thoughts needed to be disloged from my brain or just (as you all know happens) had nothing to say.

So I'm happy to have re-found my alphabet posts and to catch us all up, I'll list them here and will see, once I finish this post, if I can get back on the alphabet post bandwagon. (Even though I'm neither in a band nor an owner of a wagon. Ahem)

A is for Alphabet

B is for Boyfriends

C is for Candy and C is for Chocolate

D is for Democracy

E is for Elevators

F is for ?

and then

F is for Food

G is for Grandparents

H is for Holiday

I is for Incongruous

J is for Jethro Tull . . . And?

K is for Karma

So there you go. Now we're all caught up.

Whew.

I'm guessing L is for Love, but who knows. I'm never quite sure of what my brain's going to come up with until it comes up with it!

To The Really Drunk Guy I Can Hear Singing Out My Window

Dear Sir,
I know you're having a good old time and aren't particularly thinking of your audience, but I'm wondering if you could be just a little bit clearer with your words.
See, I can almost recognize your tune, even though you're a little bit on the shouty side and kind of feel like singing along, perhaps in an equally shouty harmony.
Or, maybe I could just hum along?

Always Awkward

What I need to know from you is this:

When you're going past someone in an aisle, say on a plane or in a movie theatre or something, or just passing them in close quarters, do you turn bum towards them or bum away from them?

Because I'm never sure which is less awkward.

All I Can Think To Say Is

Thank the holy heavens that it's Friday.

Amen.

To All Sushi Makers

Dear Sirs and Madams,

Let me just start by saying that I love your concoctions.

Almost always.

But, see, I have a little problem.

I can not eat food that looks like food. Which, since it may not make sense to you at first glance, means that I shouldn't be able to recognize the animal that the food came from.

Now, usually with sushi, this isn't a problem as I tend to order little rolls of things that don't look anything but cute!

Um, except for that unagi roll. You know, the one that's actually one thing, but because thinking about what it *really* is gives me the heebie jeebies, I just call them "chicken" rolls? (And insist everyone around me calls them chicken rolls) Yeah, them. I usually like my chicken unagi rolls, but that one from last night? Gave me not only the heebie jeebies but the oh holy lordy I can't eat any of these because I can see the legs! Legs and sticky parts and why didn't they cut those off? Why must they be hanging out of the roll as if they want to swim away or wave at me or possibly just get stuck in my throat?

So please, I'd really appreciate it if you could just make sure that my sushi doesn't, you know, look like anything that was ever once alive.

That'd be awesome.

And if you could pass this on to the guy who makes calimari to remind him that calimari should never ever come to my plate looking like a breaded mini-octopus? That'd be great.

Yours so disturbedly that I had to post the most neutral photo I could find just to counteract the heebie jeebies,

Victoria


P.S. Y'all, I know I'm changing the subject rapidly from yesterday's post, but that's ok. Ok? Kthxbye

Stunned

I mentioned it back in September, my stomach "thing" and how it was getting better and on the mend.

But since it still wasn't back to, what I'd consider, normal, I asked my doctor to send me to a specialist. A gastroenterologist (which, despite what the spell checker thinks, I spelled correctly without even trying) to be specific.

And I was lucky to get a cancellation and get in to see him last week.

I say I was lucky because my symptoms aren't medically serious enough to warrant an "any time soon" appointment with most of the gastroenterologists in this town and I was about to be placed on a waiting list that was somewhere upwards of a year. (But please, no bashing of the medical system, that's not what I'm here to talk about.)

I say I was lucky, because mid-way through my appointment the doctor said "And of course, your family doctor has told you you have Celiac disease,* right?"

Um.

No.

No, she hadn't.

I don't have the typical symptoms so it had never crossed my mind in my (own personal medical) research that this was a potential diagnosis.

Especially since I was pretty sure my doctor had done the bloodwork test for it and would have told me if it had come back positive.

I'm not really sure what to say at this point, except that I feel no need to point the finger and lay blame about not being told by my GP. I know now and will figure it all out.

It just came as a bit of a shock.

So, a couple more tests to confirm and then I'll start living with a whole new label.








I think it's about time we added another label. Like a "girlfriend to the awesome guy who knows how to cook celiac friendly food and give backrubs amongst other things." label.

That'd help.





Updated to add: Comments now open because I'm feeling a little less "raw" about it all and, yeah. *shrug*




*Celiac disease for those of you who don't feel like clicking, means that my body reacts to glutens which is like, wheat and stuff and attacks (destroys, basically) the villi in the intestines which means they can't absorb nutrients which is, you know, how we survive so that's bad and there is um, well, no cure, only management and it's amazing what you can learn in a short amount of time even if you don't want to

Think of the Children!

Listen, I don't have a lot of time here, but I've been sent to warn you.

Don't start watching The Real World Brooklyn or The City. (Which, you'd know not to watch already because you've already not been watching The Hills)

Just don't. Because if you do start watching them, you'll watch *knowing* that they're sucking out your soul, but being more and more drawn to them and wondering why oh why did that person just do that, which will lead you back to wondering why you're watching when you know OH so much better?

So, yeah. Don't do it.

Think of the children. Don't throw your life away.




And see? I didn't even link to them, that's how much I love you.




Now please, someone stage an intervention over here?

Or Else I Won't Sleep With the Worry

There is something that feels urgent that I am forgetting.

But each time I remember it, I'm in the middle of something mindless and it doesn't seem important enough to write down right at that second so I don't, because I'm sure, at the time, that I'll remember it when I'm done.

But I'm not remembering it and I'm starting to feel a little panicked.

I need to remember what I'm forgetting.

News At 11.

I's a busy girl this weekend, so I'm turning it over to you....


How was your January? What's your highlight reel?


What are you looking forward to in February? What are your coming attractions?


Um, why am I speaking in movie metaphors? Oscar season overload maybe?

My Own Little Sit-Com

So you know that thing that they do in movies and tv shows when they're trying to make the main characters look really silly?

That thing where two of them are looking for each other and one goes into the room through one door while the other goes into the hall through the other door and then they both realize that the person's in the place they just left so they go back in but of course the other person's just gone in the other direction and it takes them a minute to realize this but then they both go back the other way which of course means they both miss each other again?

Yeah, you know what I'm talking about? Well, my co-worker and I did that yesterday, without even meaning to, I'm not exaggerating, FIVE TIMES!

Seriously, if I hadn't done it myself I wouldn't have believed me.

*shakin' my head at us*

I'm Totally Blushing Right Now.

Yay for saving energy!*

*And thanks to Nola for the opportunity to help her spread the word about how easy it is to be Power Smart!

Look, Shiny!

The main purpose (nay, the sole purpose!) of this photo is to distract you from the embarrassing story I'm about to tell you.

Although, it's really not that embarrassing, I just feel pretty dumb about it.

See, my brother's heading out of country for a month and since he has a PC and my parents have a Mac (yay Macs!) it was suggested they Skype while he was away instead of iChatting. (Which is a word I just made up, methinks)

So I went over to their place and helped them set up their Skype account. Turns out I'd already done this in previous years and they already had an account.

And the embarrassing thing is? I did too.

And had no idea.

So now I have a Skype account and have no recollection of my password or the email address I use to initially sign up.

Which means both my parents and my brother can Skype me but I'll never be able to answer because I don't know I exist.

Or something.

Letting it All Out

I was a ball of emotions last week and found myself sobbing and sobbing at what I thought was a very moving Grey's Anatomy episode.

I was so upset that I couldn't stop crying and since I had to get to sleep at some point to look decent for work the next day, I went on YouTube and watched Friends bloopers. (I'm not sure how I ended up watching them, just that I knew I needed something funny to watch and "Friends" stuff came up and from there I made it to bloopers and that totally made me smile)

So last night, I decided to just see what came up when I searched for "bloopers" in YouTube and I laughed so hard I cried and couldn't breathe at this little collection. Seriously, tears streaming down my face laughing.

I think the first clip and last clip were what really did me in. Enjoy!


 TV News Bloopers

Looking Out For Each Other

I'm driving home from a spy gig last night when my co-worker and girlfriend Dee (she of cute single friend fame) calls me on my cell.

"Turn around and come back." she says. We were both at the same location and left at about the same time so I thought she might be having car troubles.

"Why, what's up?" I ask, angling my car to the side in order to pull a U-turn to head back.

"Seriously hot guys are running by, you have to come back and check them out. Seriously. So hot."

And that, my friends, is what friends are for.

I Almost Forgot!

To wish you a Happy Chinese New Year!

Sleeping it Off

I guess it's flu season, what with all the hacking and coughing and people who sound like they're lifelong 80 year old smokers surrounding me. Not to mention the stomach thing that's going around, which may or may not be the flu but oh lord please stay home when you're sick because I do not wants what you has.

One of the ways I know that my immune system is working its butt off to keep the germs at bay is what happened Saturday. I came home from a lunch out with some girlfriends and got caught up on Lost (which, really, how did that episode go by so quickly, was I caught in my own time warp or something?) and then realized I just needed a few minutes with my eyes closed before I headed to the gym, or caught up on emails or something.

And when I woke up it was nine o'clock.

At night.

Starve a fever, feed a cold? Not me. For me it's sleep a fever and a cold.

Plus some Vitamin C and hand washing just for good measure.

Today We Celebrate

To A Mouse, On Turning Her Up In Her Nest With The Plough

by Robert Burns

Wee, sleekit, cow'rin, tim'rous beastie,
O, what a panic's in thy breastie!
Thou need na start awa sae hasty,
Wi' bickering brattle!
I wad be laith to rin an' chase thee,
Wi' murd'ring pattle!

I'm truly sorry man's dominion,
Has broken nature's social union,
An' justifies that ill opinion,
Which makes thee startle
At me, thy poor, earth-born companion,
An' fellow-mortal!

I doubt na, whiles, but thou may thieve;
What then? poor beastie, thou maun live!
A daimen icker in a thrave
'S a sma' request;
I'll get a blessin wi' the lave,
An' never miss't!

Thy wee bit housie, too, in ruin!
It's silly wa's the win's are strewin!
An' naething, now, to big a new ane,
O' foggage green!
An' bleak December's winds ensuin,
Baith snell an' keen!

Thou saw the fields laid bare an' waste,
An' weary winter comin fast,
An' cozie here, beneath the blast,
Thou thought to dwell-
Till crash! the cruel coulter past
Out thro' thy cell.

That wee bit heap o' leaves an' stibble,
Has cost thee mony a weary nibble!
Now thou's turn'd out, for a' thy trouble,
But house or hald,
To thole the winter's sleety dribble,
An' cranreuch cauld!

But, Mousie, thou art no thy lane,
In proving foresight may be vain;
The best-laid schemes o' mice an 'men
Gang aft agley,
An'lea'e us nought but grief an' pain,
For promis'd joy!

Still thou art blest, compar'd wi' me
The present only toucheth thee:
But, Och! I backward cast my e'e.
On prospects drear!
An' forward, tho' I canna see,
I guess an' fear!



Happy Burns Day y'all.

Whew

My alarm went off last night at 6:30 pm.

Which was good, because it meant I found out I'd set it incorrectly last night instead of Monday morning.

When, you know, it wouldn't have gone off.

Yikes.

A Light Haunting

I keep seeing Smith this week.

First of all, I was emptying out a drawer looking for a specific item a couple of weeks ago and I found a CD. I wasn't sure what was on it, so I opened it up on my computer and found I'd kept all the early, romantic emails from Smith, and all the photos I'd ever taken of him, and us.

And it wasn't a nice feeling; seeing them and reading the couple of emails I opened. It made me miss what I thought we were going to have all over again.

But, I didn't linger long over the CD and I recycled it and moved on.

Until yesterday, when I was in the grocery store and the man in line in front of me struck up a conversation about chocolate with me. And, let me tell you, this guy could have been Smith.

Same look, same height, same hair, same way of talking and moving and all of it. Same.

It was weird, because I didn't realize it until mid-way through the conversation and when I did, I didn't quite know what to do with myself.

It made me want to run home and call him and get back together, because Smith had a certain charm about him, and this guy did too.

But, then again, don't they all?

I'm not sure why I keep running into Smith reminders lately, but maybe it's a good thing. Maybe it's a final purging before the Universe moves me on.

Or maybe it's a reminder.

I'm just not sure what of.

The Opposite of Fading

I had a dream a while ago, in fact, it's got to be close to a couple of weeks ago now (certainly long before that wonderful event), that I can still remember. And that's unusual.

When I woke up, I thought "I have to blog this" it was such a real/vivid dream and I was sure that someone out there (ie. y'all) would be able to figure out what my psyche was telling me (heh, I typed 'psycho' by mistake. giggle)

But I never got around to writing about it and I figured that the dream would just eventually fade away and I'd forget about it.

But I haven't and it isn't. So here goes:

I was playing outside in the backyard of the house I grew up in, it was summer, either the weekend or summer holidays. I was me, but younger, but not, all at the same time.

I looked up at an airplane in the sky to see it's vapour trail (you know, the long white line they sometimes leave behind in the blue sky?) and I noticed that the vapour trail was wobbly, not straight.

Since this is unusual, I followed the trail to see why the plane wasn't flying straight. The airplane, which was a big airliner, was towing stuff behind it. A lot of stuff. It was like a tug boat in the sky, carrying a whole lot of concrete and other building materials all tied together with a long, strong rope or cable stretching out behind it. And the plane was having to fly from side to side to keep things going, because, of course, they don't usually tow stuff.

As I was watching this and thinking it didn't look quite right, our boarder came out. (We never had a boarder when I was growing up, by the way) He was older than I was in the dream (21 or so?) and gorgeous. I, of course, had a crush on him. He came out and we both stood there watching the plane, when it began to bank and turn.

Apparently carrying cargo wasn't working out for the pilot and he needed to land. So he started to turn and circle, and before we knew it he was flying quite low over our neighbourhood. (Not far above the trees in my backyard, really)

Our boarder started to run, and I followed after him, and he went to the abandoned lot where the plane had landed, and I just stood at the end of the driveway and watched him go. I was about to get my bike to follow when I woke up.

What I remember from the dream is that it was very real. And it didn't occur to me until a bit after I'd woken up that planes don't tow things like that. And I feel like I should know who the boarder was, but I don't.

I just can't remember the last time a dream stuck with me for so long, but there you go.

Analyze away!

What If The Mightiest Word Is Love?

Praise song for the day. - Elizabeth Alexander

Each day we go about our business, walking past each other, catching each other's eyes -- or not -- about to speak or speaking.

All about us is noise.

All about us is noise and bramble, thorn and din, each one of our ancestors on our tongues.

Someone is stitching up a hem, darning a hole in a uniform, patching a tire, repairing the things in need of repair.

Someone is trying to make music somewhere with a pair of wooden spoons on an oil drum, with cello, boom box, harmonica, voice.

A woman and her son wait for the bus. A farmer considers the changing sky. A teacher says, "Take out your pencils. Begin."

We encounter each other in words -- words spiny or smooth, whispered or declaimed; words to consider, reconsider.

We cross dirt roads and highways that mark the will of someone and then others who said, "I need to see what's on the other side. I know there's something better down the road."

We need to find a place where we are safe. We walk into that which we cannot yet see.

Say it plain, that many have died for this day. Sing the names of the dead who brought us here, who laid the train tracks, raised the bridges, picked the cotton and the lettuce, built brick by brick the glittering edifices they would then keep clean and work inside of.

Praise song for struggle. Praise song for the day. Praise song for every hand-lettered sign, the figuring it out at kitchen tables.

Some live by "love thy neighbor as thyself." Others by "first, do no harm" or "take no more than you need."

What if the mightiest word is "love" -- love beyond marital, filial, national; love that casts a widening pool of light; love with no need to preempt grievance?

In today's sharp sparkle, this winter air, anything can be made, any sentence begun. On the brink, on the brim, on the cusp, praise song for walking forward in that light.

And Also?

Happy Inauguration Day, USA.

I'm excited for you.

Out of it

I was a little bit kerjumpled last week, which for those of you who don't understand the feeling of "kerjumpled" just means that things were bumpy.

Knowing that, it was still weird to find myself eating a spoonful of dry cookie mix (someone gave me a bag of Betty Crocker "add butter and an egg" sugar cookie mix) straight from the package.

It was putting the spoon back in for the second spoonful that made me question just how out of it I was.

My solution was to cook the damn things before I ate my way through an entire bag of dry cookie mix and had to figure out just what that said about my emotional state. It was either that or throw the rest of the bag out, and that just seemed like a waste.

Slightly burnt sugar cookies anyone?

Oooooooh

We've been having a lot of fog around these here parts lately.

And while I don't have a photo of it, even if I did it wouldn't show you what it's been like.

Maybe it's just me and my memory, but I don't know when I've last seen fog like this so many days in a row.

Now, I'm sure there are people from we-get-lots-of-fog places (San Fransisco perhaps?) who are rolling their collective eyes at me right now, but bear with me, this is a bit of a novelty.

See, usually if we get fog, it's just kind of there. And sometimes it's there, but not really, or you can see that the clouds are a little low on the Sooke Hills or something, but that's about it.

This fog has been very much here. As in, right there kind of here. You can walk out to your car and have cloud rolling in front of your very eyes. It's bizarre to me because the fog that I'm used to is just there, but this stuff moves. This fog rolls and it's the rolling and moving that gets me. And it's chilly, this fog-moving-cloud-stuff that we've been having lately and there's been more than a few days of it.

Usually our fog comes in the morning and is gone before lunch. Well before lunch. This stuff is coming in morning and staying through afternoons and collecting itself after dinner for a solid night.

I went over to my girlfriend's house the other night and I'm not making it up, got lost on her sidestreets on the way home because I could not see. So because I could not see the signs, and could barely see the streets themselves, I drove on instinct and since they moved to their house not too long ago, the instincts they weren't so good and I got lost. In the fog. For reals.

As I write this, it's a clear, bright, sunny day and I'm loving it, and we'll see what the next week or so brings us. But for now, the fog has been pretty cool. I've liked the feeling of being able to see the clouds on the same level as I am. Made me feel magical, somehow.

How's your weather been?

Bleargh

Today is a make decisions kind of day and I just don't want to.

So, people:

Yes or no?

and should I

Stay or go?

and should I

Not bother or just sign up and see?

Make my decisions for me pleeeeeeeeease?

Kthxbye.

I Lightened Up

I've got the power!

Well, actually, I've cut the power.

My power.

Usage, that is.

You probably don't remember this post from over a year ago, (go on, read it, you know you want to) but in November of 2007 I committed to cutting my electricity usage by 20%.

I just got my results, and I'm really proud to say that last year, (drum roll please) I cut my power consumption by (dramatic pause while the envelope is opened)


25%!


YAY ME!

Now, I know most of you non BC residents won't know what I'm talking about, but for the rest of you, can you now sing me the "I've got the power" song like in the commercials? (Or you could just sing along to this (which, I'm going to admit is a song I quite possibly know all the words to)


Snap - I Got The Power

And also I found this while searching for the BC Hydro Power ads and it made me smile.


Power Smart Man

The point is, if I can do it, you can do it. So go out there and reduce your energy use!

Um, but don't unplug your computer til after you've read this post, kay?

Hmmmm

I was changing out of my top at the gym yesterday, a top that my Mom bought in Europe but then decided she didn't like, and it looks really cute on me, but the thing is, as I was taking it off, I decided to take a look at the label, where I found the warning "keep away from flame".

Um, so, are you telling me I'm going to, like, explode if I accidentally catch this thing on fire? What if I wear it in the sun? Can I still dry it in my building's "roast everything dry" industrial dryer?

I'm a little concerned.

And Nine?

My car was overdue for an oil change.

I know this because the oil change people sent me a reminder to let me know that my car was overdue for an oil change and they looked forward to seeing me again.

So I went in. On Sunday.

I thought that going in on a Sunday would mean I wouldn't have to wait in line for so long, and it was a little shorter of a wait, but still, that place must be making a killing, because whenever I go in I'm one of a bunch of people waiting at the three service bays. It boggles the mind.

Or, at least, it boggles mine. That's not always hard to do.

But it's never good news when I go in for an oil change. I know part of it is them upselling, trying to squeeze a little more money out of me by letting me know that this needs a filter change or that needs a transmission blow out or something (which, I may have remembered the name wrong, because isn't a blow out something women get done to their hair?) and this time was no different. Not great news.

My car has leaks. My sweet, serving me well, starting to be over the hill '91 has leaks. Gasket and transmission or some such stuff.

Does anyone go into those places and have good news? Like, hello, your car is in awesome shape and nothing's wrong with it so we changed the oil and have a nice day?

I feel sorry for my car.

And, in unrelated news, I can't believe it's 2009. Two thousand and nine? Really?

Seriously?

I just set off my smoke detector again.

Cooking eggs.

I didn't even burn them, apparently my smoke detector's really sensitive, and no I don't have a vent over my stove yes I live in an older apartment why do you ask?

So I think I'm going to attach a sticky note to my frying pan that says "take batteries out of smoke detector before use" because trying to not burn food while grabbing a chair to take down the wailing smoke alarm and hoping your neighbours aren't freaked out isn't really as much fun as it sounds.

Another Random Fact You Didn't Know About Me

I *heart* a cappella groups.

Especially the college ones.

But, not the ones with girls.

Or lotsa choreography.

Just the ones with cute guys standing there making awesome harmony.

I seriously love it.


UNC Achordands - "Love" - Beatles Medly




Straight No Chaser - It's So Hard to Say Goodbye to Yesterday

True story.

Perfection

What I've learned over the past little while is that Heidi Klum never, ever, ever looks anything less than perfect. She is absolutely adorably sweet and completely gorgeous and I lurve her and kind of want to grow up and be her.

Lucky, lucky Seal.

Discovery

As I mentioned the other day, I always clean up (and out) my place on New Year's Eve. It stems from a familial cultural tradition that's basically about getting rid of the old to let the new in.

I'd been with my family up until about 8pm on the 31st and I got home and cleaned for three hours straight. I dusted and swept, I bagged up clothes and things that hadn't been used or worn in a while, I opened all the windows and, under the instructions of my Uncle whom I'd spoken to in Scotland a few hours earlier, I opened my front door to let the old year out and the new year in.

Another thing that I did was to clear off my counters and tables.

See, I usually have things that I'm working on or going to work on sitting in a relatively neat little pile on my table, and I have my dishes washed and drying on a rack on my kitchen counter.

For New Year's, I put the rack away up on top of a cabinet and I put the papers and books and to do lists away in an old card box on a chair under the table.

And let me tell you, I love it.

I love how simple and sleek and clean everything looks.

I mean, my place is usually neat and orderly, but cleaning off the main surfaces? It feels like a breath of fresh air and I'm just loving it.

There was something so wonderful about getting up on the 1st to a place that looked, clean (and I'm not talking about no dirt clean, I mean clean lines / clean and simple clean) that I just loved and that felt like such a relief to my brain. It's calming. And easy. And I love it.

So it was a funny discovery, but apparently I really like things to not be there. If you know what I mean.

Clean.





P.S. Thanks for not mentioning the fact that I somehow managed to use a photo twice in the same week! (Now changed so you'll never notice. Except I just told you. D'oh.)

Good All 'Round

There's a whole lot of happy in and around my life right now.

I have good friends who are having just had! a baby, that neither of them thought they'd ever have, and I'm so thrilled for the two of them; their joy is palpable.

And, what has me really jumping for joy is the fact that B and S, two people I adore very much,

wait for it. . .

wait for it . . .

(dramatic pause)

GOT ENGAGED!

I couldn't be happier for the two of them and can't honestly say who got the better end of the deal. B's a super awesome, good looking guy, and S is a gorgeous, sweet, awesome gal and they're so well suited for each other it's just awesome.

I have to say, I'm really proud of B, and I feel like I've known him long enough and talked about his past relationships with him enough to know that he's truly found a wonderful partner and I'm so happy he's asked her to be his wife. (I would have questioned his sanity if he hadn't!)

It's been great getting to know S through B and now I just have to convince the two of them to get their butts over here to Victoria so I can watch their wedded bliss.

Oh, and have S to talk to about my (future) relationships, of course!

So, knowing that B and S sometimes peruse this here site (with the strict understanding that, noooo, it's not *me*, I don't have a website, wink wink) I'm going to sign off by wishing them my heartfelt congratulations on their engagement and thanking them for bringing the happy!

Yay, happy!

Licensed

So I had to renew my driver's license the other day (and, holy smokes, do you know how often I start a post with "so"? and even though I know I do I just can't seem to stop?) (and yes, that does mean it's my birthday somewhere around these here parts, but no, it doesn't mean I'm going to tell you when, spy confidentiality and all, y'all.) and it was probably the most fun I've had doing it.

First of all, my local license place thingy is all modernized from the last time I was there and I had to sit with my numbered ticket and wait for the flashing light sign to call me over and there were arrows and flashing signs and buzzing beepers and oh my goodness I felt like I was on a game show. (Come on big money!)

And then it was *totally* adorable to watch the young people coming in all thrilled to be taking their test for their learner's permit. I saw this one girl with a smile so big I thought she was going to burst. I wanted to go right up and hug her, but I restrained myself and just smiled back at her instead. (I totally hope she aced it!)

When I went up to get my photo taken, for the first time (I swear!) since I was 16, the lady asked me if my weight was still the same. "One hundred and twenty five pounds still?" she asked, and I just started laughing. "Um. No." I had to admit, thinking that I'd jinxed myself on the drive over by wondering if I'd get to keep my 16 year old weight on my license for another five years.

So still amused that I'd been caught out in my sneakiness (because I mean, it's not my fault no one ever asked me in previous years is it? What, was I supposed to interrupt them and say, oh, by the way, I've put on a teeny bit of weight in the last, oh, say, five or ten years?), I went over to stand in the photo spot and the woman said "OK, and make a neutral face" and as I was mulling over to myself not only how to do that but *why* I had to do that (are we going the way of the passport now?) the woman behind her said "Did you just ask her to make an unnatural face?" and I burst out laughing just as the camera flashed.

Needless to say, I had to have my photo retaken again after that and am hoping my new (more accurate) license arrives soon because it's kind of weird going around without photo I.D.

Even for a super spy like me!

To Vaguely Acquainted With Guy

Dear ... um... you,

I know we've known each other for a few years now, and we politely chit chat on the odd occasion, but really? That doesn't give you enough of a reason to lean in for what I thought was going to be a New Year's hug and plant a kiss right

on


my


lips.

Dude.

Because as much as I'm trying to be polite about it, it's been a while since I've actually wanted to take soap and wash off my lips and right now I'm thinking of heading straight to the bathroom to do just that.

Seriously.

Hug or kiss on the cheek.

No lips.

No lips!

NO LIPS!



Yours in a remote kind of way,

Victoria

Routine

So a funny thing happened these last couple of weeks, and I found myself completely out of my sit down and write some posts routine.

It was a combination of some time off work paired with the holidays and spending (wonderful) days at a time with family and friends and adorable little ones and not having a whole lot of the down time that I usually take to write.

And then I would have a moment or two and want to write but found that my brain was just, well... kind of mushy. And I didn't want to force myself to make coherent thoughts.

Or maybe I just didn't have any. That's always possible. (Heh)

But as things have settled and the holiday season has slowed down, I've found myself with time to myself again and I think I've found that I really am a creature of habit, or, at least, a creature of routine.

I like taking a slow Sunday to sit and think about what's going through my head and what's going on in my life and so write out the weirdnesses or anecdotes or concerns or whatevers and I've missed that feeling of babbling out my thoughts to whoever (er... whomever?) happens to be listening.

So, hi! I'm getting back in my routine, which should mean that my brain will have time to form at least semi-complete thoughts.

Ahhhhhh routine, we get along just fine you and I.

Awesomeness

So I'm totally, completely in love with something I bought over the holidays, pretty much on a whim.

Allow me to elucidate (oooh, hello fancy words!)...

I like to drink hot water.

Not, like, ouch burn your tongue hot water, but a nice, soothing, hot water.

It's comforting and soothing and, well, I just like it.

Perhaps because the first time I ever had hot water it was given to me in a glass beer mug (the kind that's usually frozen and filled with....well, beer?) I've always liked drinking my hot water out of glass.

I don't have any beer mugs at home (a gasp from the crowd, the male audience crossing themselves at the abomination) I've always drank out of whatever's available, usually a plastic thermos-y travel mug thing.

I stopped into Starbucks last week to pick up a coffee for my Mom since I don't have any coffee at home (an even louder gasp from the crowd, several audience members pass out with shock and horror) and wanted her to have coffee with the breakfast I was making her (leading to the second bacon grease incident in recent weeks, ooops!) and I saw this little, unassuming glass mug sitting there on the shelf.

I picked it up, thinking it would be nice to have a glass mug to drink my hot water out of but didn't look too closely at the design. I did notice it was nice and light, but it wasn't until I got it home that I realized it had this super cool design.

The awesome thing is double.... I don't know, blown, or something, so that it's like a mug cushioned inside a mug.

I guess it's supposed to insulate things so that the hot liquid doesn't make the mug too hot to touch, but what it does is make a fantastically awesome looking vessel where the liquid seems to float in a bubble inside the mug.

It's even way cooler in person than it looks because the inside bit's so floaty.

Anyway, I'm loving it, and hot water has never looked cooler.

Cool

So, yes, I had a good Christmas. Not entirely as planned, but sometimes that just ends up making it even better.

The plan was to head over to the mainland on Christmas Eve and to head back Boxing Day-ish. My brother called on the morning of the 24th and the snow that had been forecast (and missed Victoria) had hit them full force. After talking with him it was decided that it wasn't safe driving and not a good idea to head over.

We were all pretty disappointed, so it was an easy decision to make when, on Christmas morning, he called and said the roads looked great and things were melting. Yay, travel time!

Travelling on Christmas day was nice, everyone seemed happy and in good spirits, and crossing on the ferry with snow all around was something I haven't done very often in the past, so I had a blast taking photos for most of the trip.

I got to see everyone I love most in the world on Christmas day after all, and the day was wonderful and relaxing and fun.

My brother came over here for a visit a few days after Christmas so it has felt like the longest holiday season ever.

We even went to see the lights at Butchart Gardens (which is one of my favourite Christmassy things to do) the other evening.

My New Year's was great too. I have my own, personal traditions which included cleaning my place and getting rid of (to charity of course) old clothes and things I no longer need or want in my life. I also wrote out some goals (not resolutions) for the year and rang 2009 in peacefully and happily.

My parents came by yesterday and first footed me, with shortbread and all, which is probably the most perfect start to the year I could have asked for.

I hope you all have a wonderful 2009 and I look forward to sharing more stories with you as the year progresses.

Happy New Year!

We'll Tak' a Cup o' Kindness Yet, For Auld Lang Syne.

May your 2009 be full of love, happiness, joy, peace, and all the good things you're wishing for and deserve.

Happy New Year my friends.

I promise, it's going to be a good one.

Um, Victoria?

Yeah?

You need to post.

I do?

You do.

Oh. But I have nothing to say. My brain's still on do-no-work mode!

Well, just tell them about the bacon grease incident.

No, I already had one of those a week or so ago, if I tell them I had another problem with bacon grease they're going to think I'm really crazy, and they already think I'm a little crazy.

Well, then tell them about the super awesome wind that's going on today.

I could, I guess, but I'd rather spend the time sorting through and uploading my photos in case the power goes out because, yeah, holy windy!

So then what are you going to say today?

I dunno. I guess just something about posts continuing to be light. Or sparse.

Or non existent?

No, I'll try, just not sure when the brain will get back into action.

Well, maybe if you'd stop watching back episodes of Project Runway?

Yeah. Maybe.

Hey Y'all

I hope you're all having, and had, good Christmases and holidays and time with loved ones.

I have sleep to catch up on and calories to burn off family to hang out with and couches to mellow out on so I'll fill you all in on things once I'm around and about more.

Hope all is well and just in case I don't see you before, I wish you all good things for 2009.

I'm now going to attempt to get myself to the gym.

Later skaters!

12/25

Merry Christmas everyone.



Be good to one another.

Travelling Monkeys

So something clicked in my head the other night (Monday night, I think it was) and I realized that although I'd imagined my week to be a lazy one filled with opportunities to write blog entries and post them at my leisure, the fact of the matter was that I was going to be on a ferry boat first thing Wednesday morning.

Um, so yeah. I'm on a ferry. Maybe even as you're reading this.

Or, maybe I'm already off and on the way to my brother's place.

Anyway, wish me good driving and good family time and good eating and I'll wish you all the same.

I should be back in a few days (weather and expanding waist bands permitting) so until then, have a Merry Christmas and Happy Hanukkah and a Joyful anything and everything else that you may be enjoying this week.

Lots of hugs,
Victoria (Who, as you're reading this, may already be eating chocolate)

Oh, and? Happy Christmas Eve! I hope Santa's good to you. See you in a few days.

Question

Is it weird that I'd be ok with just sitting on my couch for the next few days?

I mean, considering that it's Christmas this week (which, by the way, how did *that* happen?) I'm guessing I should be looking forward to visiting and family, but all I can really think is how nice it would be to sit on my couch and not have to get up.

I might just be a little bit on the tired side, and the idea of sleeping on a futon in Vancouver for a couple of nights doesn't seem too restful to me. Oh well, as long as there's gravy, it'll be worth it.

(There will be gravy, won't there?)

What are your plans for the .... holy smokes, is tomorrow Christmas EVE????? um, what are your plans for the next couple of days.

Apparently I have to pack.






On a completely different note , I had a not so much with the fun drive last night. Decided to go see some friends who are about to have a baby seriously any day now and got stuck in the snow three times (leaving my apartment, trying to find a place to park, which DUH, why didn't I clue in that I wouldn't find side street parking until I got there and saw all the snow banks, duh, and then trying to get back in to my apartment) and had to constantly spray (non-winter proof because I didn't expect a real winter cuz we didn't have one last year) my windshield because it kept freezing and thereby making it impossible to see. So that was, well, a little on the slightly stressful side. And probably the rest of the country/continent is laughing at me right now, but we have one plow. ONE plow for our whole city. As in, one. Which means that while the roads that get driven on are basically clear, all the side roads (ie. where I live and where my friends live) aren't. At. All. And, in fact, they're this weird mixture of frozen stuff and melty goo, but the real problem is the piles of stuff people have shoveled, or in the case of my driveway, the dip in the road that meant that my tires dipped, but my car hit a bank of snow and zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz went the tires and "oh" went the me. But, hey... the fact that I'm writing this means I managed it and got out of it all by myself, which makes me proud and so you can scoff your eyes at us PacNorthWesters, but really, the driving's not....great.

/end slightly freaked out when I wrote it rant.

Ahhhhhhhhhhhh

So, what am I doing?

Well, perfect that you should ask. I'm sitting in my favourite chair watching (and listening to) the snow fall off the trees as the sun warms things up.

It's the coolest thing, like the trees are dripping, except they're dripping chunks of snow that make the leaves ripple and sound like crunchy rain.

I slept in this morning, which was awesome. It was decided that since the snow hit and the end of the week is holiday time anyway, that the whole week would be mine. All mine, my precious! (Ahem.) So I turned my alarm on to the regular work time just so that I could turn it off and snuggle down into bed and sleep in. Ahhhhhhh.

It's been a nice, mellow morning too. Downloading the photos I look last night as it snowed and snowed and snowed and snowed. Listening to the sound of tires crunching into the parking behind my building. (I love that sound, crrrrunch), eating the candy off of yesterday's gingerbread house (which, I have to say, I don't think is going to last much past this evening, if that!), eating bacon, english muffins and drinking some tea. Awesome.

And it's warm enough too that I've got my windows open, letting in the fresh air and sunshine. And I'll most likely head out for a walk later today, maybe to the gym, and if the roads are doing well, I might head over to a friend's house for dinner. If not, it'll be me and some goodies again for din dins tonight.

I'm catching up on my reading (blogs and books alike) and am really really enjoying time to myself. My plan for today is to finish this one leeeeetle (I keep telling myself that so that it doesn't seem so freaky) assignment I've been given so that I don't have to think about it over Christmas. So if I get it done, it may mean no blog post tomorrow. But that'd be ok, right? Right!

So, a Happy Hanukkah and Winter Solstice from yesterday to everyone. I hope you all enjoy whatever celebrations you're celebrating.

And, yay for the days starting to get longer again!

Just FYI

Not sure I'm going to post today.

Although, I suppose posting this kind of means I did.

Huh.

Update: Change of plans!

Awesome

So it seems that my perfect Sunday from last week was to be followed by another perfect Sunday today!

It started snowing last night as I left the gym, and since we'd been told to expect a bunch of snow, I'd already picked up some goodies (bacon, Avalon chocolate milk, pistachios, you know, all the yummiest stuff!) so I headed home and watched the snow fall all night.

When I woke up this morning it was a winter wonderland, and after making the executive decision to sleep in some more (mmm, toasty warm bed) I got up and lazed around in my pjs and blankie before heading out for a snowy walk to the gym.

Came home feeling suitably exhausted and refreshed (I love going to the gym on snowy winter days, I feel like a superstar cuz I got to the gym in the snow, plus I get some exercise, which means I feel like I can eat more goodies, and I'm always looking for an excuse to bundle up and head out in the snow!) and put on some Christmas music. Then there was hot chocolate to be made, and peppermint oil to be warmed (so my place smells like a candy cane!) and pretty candles to be lit and I sat and candied up a gingerbread house while watching the snow fall in the background.

Can't get much Christmassier than that, can you?

Hope you're having a great Sunday too.

. . .

Holy smokes people. I'm exhausted.

And bushed.

And pooped.

And did I mention being really really tired?

Yeah.

See, as much as I love the snow (and I do really love the snow), it makes my work so much harder. I mean, really, how can you be stealthy and spy like when everyone can see your footprints?

So I'm zonked.

And brain no worky for maky posts.

Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz.

Good News Bad News

The good news: My smoke detector works!

The bad news: I didn't get to eat the bacon I burned and my whole apartment still smells like slightly burned bacon fat.



The good news: I can type on my iPod touch if I have to. Which, combined with my wireless means I have at least some computer ability even if my laptop isn't working. Which reminds me. . .

The bad news: My laptop charger broke.

The good news: My computer was still under warranty so I got a new one yesterday free of charge!

The bad news: I'm a little behind on my posting (and post reading) because I spent two days trying to make the charger work. (One thought I honestly had? Hmmm, maybe it's not working because it's so cold*. Let me wrap it in a blanket!)

The good news: I know y'all won't mind.





*Seriously. It was -6 and -18 with the windchill. Brrrrr! (That's bizarrely cold for Victoria)

Will Be Missed

In the last book I read (stop reading now if you don't want to have plot points revealed), several characters die.

A couple of them were unexpected, and one hit me really hard. Seriously.

I didn't see it coming and I just didn't think the character wouldn't *not* be around for the whole story.

So, when it did happen, I just lay there in bed sobbing. As in, soak the pillow sobbing. I was so surprised by how sad I was by that character's death, and I still wish the author hadn't had him die.

Anything in a story ever affect you that way?

Saturday Night's Alright

So it snowed Saturday evening, (and yes, this photo is old too, but ain't it pretty?) and although I was enjoying sitting on my couch with the blinds open watching the snow fall, by 10:30 I was starting to think of bed. (After all, I may have left the staff party by midnight, but I didn't actually get to sleep Friday night until close to 3 am. Go figure.) I was a little surprised, then, to get a text message from Dee, my girlfriend / co-worker who lives nearby (and is totally awesome) telling me that her friend, a cute single guy who currently lives in Vancouver but may be moving to Victoria was over visiting with a bunch of other friends and did I want to stop by?

Now, ordinarily it might not have been worth my while to get all dressed up and drive over just to hang out with people, but I looked outside and instantly saw an excuse to go for a walk in the snow! So I put on my new jeans and suited up for the snow and walked in a Winter Wonderland to Dee's place. In fact, she and her friend (insert name here) met me half way and we had a mini snowball fight. It was perfect and what Winter's supposed to be all about!

After I peeled off my waterproof pants and scarf and toque and mittens (etc. etc.) we all hung out for a while; some of the boys playing video games and Dee, (insert name here) and I talking away in the kitchen.

They all were much drunker than I was, and so when they decided to head downtown to the bars, I decided to take myself home. Night time when it's snowing is one of the only times I feel safe walking by myself. It's light out since the snow reflects all the streetlights and I figure most of the crazy people are off hiding somewhere warm. And in this town, most of the people you see out and about walking on a snowy night are excited that it's snowing and want to make the most of it. So it was a nice, if fairly short, walk home.

Plus, it's kind of fun to watch people who aren't used to driving in the snow try to drive.

But anyhow, the weird thing is is that I found myself thinking about Dee's friend and I'm not really sure why. Like, on Sunday, I found myself wondering what he was doing and if he was heading back to Vancouver or not. Which is weird, because I'm not sure I thought much of him one way or the other when we hung out, and I didn't even talk to him for that long, an hour maybe?

I don't really think I'm saying anything here, I'm more just observing. Out loud. I'm sure it'll pass.

I think one of the other thoughts that I had was how easy it would have been to have gone out to the bars with them all and had a few drinks and flirt with and maybe even make out with (insert name here) and that that's what I would have done before. It's certainly what I did with the rest of my exes and isn't what I plan on doing anymore. But maybe there's a part of me that's wondering what it would have been like to wake up to someone else in my bed Sunday morning. Someone I didn't know anything about. Been there, done that, moved on.

Not that that was my reason for not going out with them on Saturday; I didn't *not* go out with them on purpose.

But anyway... it's good to have girlfriends who are still looking out for me when it comes to single guys. And it's good to be able to play in the snow with people who love it as much as I do.

Here's hoping for more.

Snow, that is.

Although, I won't say no to more single guys too if that's in the forecast.

From the Outside

So we had our staff Christmas party this weekend (which is kind of fun when you're a spy, because everyone comes in spy disguise, and you can hardly recognize anyone. I went dressed as me, by the way, which threw everyone off) and I had a great time.

I'm usually not a big fan of Christmas parties, but I've been at this office long enough to really like everyone and we all needed to hang out and have fun together, so I decided to get a ride with someone who wasn't planning on staying that long in case I wanted to leave early.

Turns out I was one of the later leavers; it was so much fun. I don't usually drink around my co-workers, but decided a vodka and cranberry wouldn't hurt. And when I was done that one, I just handed my glass to the (dishy) co-worker I have a kindergarten crush on (unrequited due to his long time girlfriend, but I can still enjoy his company ) and told him that no, I wasn't driving, so it didn't matter how strong he mixed it.

And before I knew it I was kicking some Guitar Hero butt (while dancing and looking like a rock star thank you very much) and losing at pool (except for those five fluke shots in a row) and then singing Christmas carols, having completely forgotten that I tend to be shy and don't like to sing in front of people who might be better than I am.

And as one of my (newer) co-workers was leaving, she looked at me, this big smile on her face and said "Victoria? You're a ton of fun." which was a pretty cute thing to say, since I know exactly what she meant. We have to maintain a certain level of professionalism at work and it's nice to see each other in a different, relaxed light.

And the best part for me was being able to observe myself through their eyes. (I have this weird ability every once in a while to see myself as others see me rather than through my own often insecure thoughts.) And do you know what you guys? I'm pretty awesome.

I'm fun and I'm funny. I'm nice, and I'm pretty, and I'm good at a lot of different things. I sing, I dance, I'm good at sports. Somehow what I got out of the night is that I'm more than a good catch, I'm an awesome catch, and some guy's going to be very very lucky to be with me.

So, all in all, the staff party, for me, was a great success. I had fun, got to have fun with my co-workers and see them as more than just seriously hard working spies, and I got to see myself as the awesome chick I am.







(And in completely unrelated news, apparently this is my seven hundred and seventy seventh post. 777. That's pretty cool if I say so myself. Thanks to those of you who've been around for most of them. You guys rock.)

Best. Morning. Ever

So, yeah, I know this photo is from a couple of years ago, but if you just brush a few flakes off the trees, it's pretty much the same scene I woke up to this morning!

It started snowing last night as I left the gym (slipping on what used to be a puddle and realizing it was ice and then looking up and seeing snowflakes was pretty darn awesome) and didn't let up until after I was in bed (which was past 2am, but I'll save that story for tomorrow I think.)

And then when I woke up this morning I lay in bed, all cozy in a pocket of warm under my duvet and watched the snow fall outside the window for a few minutes before I decided to fall back asleep, all curled up and delicious in my bed while the snow fell and swirled. Awesome.

Fast forward an hour or so and I throw on my bestest warm pj's and head for the couch with some breakfast.

And now I'm sitting on my couch, wrapped in a blankie, feet on a hot water bottle, listening to Christmas carols. It's pretty darn awesome and I haven't even had bacon yet!

Let it snow, let it snow, let it snow!

Best morning ever.

Wire

I've got to head off for a few days . . . spy business. . . but I'll send you a telegram when I get back, kay?

Play nice!

Scent of Childhood

Do you ever stop and think about how weird it is that we can remember smells?

Or that smells can remind us of things?

Maybe "weird" isn't the right word.

Maybe "amazing" is.

Or "awesome".

Every time I look at this picture, it makes me think of Strawberry Shortcake and the one doll I had: Lemon ...something. (Or was it Apricot something. Or, wait, maybe Peach? I just remember she wore white.)

And I can *just about* smell her.

Just from looking at a picture.

Weird. Cool.*


*D'you know the smell I mean? Just a hint of plastic underneath the sweetness?

Just Chillin'

Not a whole lot going on around here, which, frankly, is pretty darn nice.

Things right now just feel mellow and good.

On the guy front, I ran into Huck again and was reminded just how good looking he is and am mulling over the idea of asking him to hang out sometime.

I've had a couple of small dates with a nice fellow, but I'm not sure it's going to go anywhere as he's possibly planning on moving to another country, and, well, yeah. That's probably all you'll hear me say about him.

I also met a man through work who was so handsome and wonderful and amazing and not single, but for a whole day I was madly in love. Like, hearts fluttering out of my eyes in love. It was fun.

So there's your latest update: I'm enjoying the mellow and all is well.

How 'bout you?

Sweeeeeeet

My parents bought a new computer this fall, and were able to take advantage of a deal that allowed them to get a free iPod at the same time.

I strongly suggested they get an iPod touch because it was the highest of the free iPods offered, plus it looked super cool and I thought they'd like it. So they did.

And they liked it.

But they found that they weren't using it as much as they thought they might and asked me the other day if I might like to have it.

DUDE! YES! PLEASE!

And so it was that I came into (holy smokes,because my parents are teh awesome) possession of my very own iPod touch.

And it *is* totally cool.

Except now I find myself trying to touch all sorts of screens that don't touch and trying to move things that don't "flow" in the touch way.

I may need rehab people.

But for now? So totally cool.

My parents rock.

(Plus, I told them they could have it back if they ever wanted. I think my Mom was tempted when she saw all the apps I loaded on to it.)

( She especially liked the fake lighter.)

(Not that I'd ever hold up a fake lighter in a concert, mind you. I have standards, people.)

(But, seriously, this thing is so sweet!)

Dude

If you're in Victoria tonight, try to get to the Lighted Truck Parade.

It's somehow the cutest, most touching Christmassy parade I've ever seen.

I saw it by accident once a few years ago and thought it was just a one off, but now I try to see it somewhere, every year. It kind of kicks off my Christmas season, seeing all those people draping their big ol' trucks with pretty lights to raise money for the Mustard Seed food bank.

It's just an awesome display, very cool and totally fun.

Yay!

So guess what? I graduated from physio yesterday!

No, not physio school, sillies, I told you, I'm a spy, not a physiotherapist.

No, I graduated from my physiotherapist that I was seeing for my back.

See, I'd been seeing this one person for a number of months and things were ok, but then she had to go away for a while and my back (which, if you're following along at home, has been bugging me here and there for a fair bit now) had a little owie session and I suddenly remembered a physio I went to a couple of years ago when I did got whooping cough (yes, as a grownup thank you very much, never as a kid though) and ended up compressing a disc in my (completely unrelated area) upper back.

So I made an appointment to see this fellow and he took a very different approach to what he felt the problem was and once we started working on that, things started improving dramatically.

Some traction, ultrasound, weird electrical thingies and excercises later and I'm good to go. SO much better; know what I'm dealing with and how to take care of it. Unless something goes wrong again, I don't ever have to go back. I'm feeling pretty happy that I've fixed things up so well and it's a reminder that sometimes a different opinion in health matters is a good idea.

Oh, and an unrelated bonus? One of the things I've had to fix was my posture, and fixing that has made all my pants too big so I've ended up going down a pants size. Or two. Without having to diet like a madwoman. In fact, no weight lost at all, but all my pants started sliding off.

Cool, huh?

So, yay me, and yay my physio guy for doing such a good job fixing me up!

Incoming Message

Hi, Victoria?

It's 4:30 calling.

Just wanted to let you know that we'll be taking your light for the rest of the day.

Great. Thanks!

Perspective

I feel like this in some way throughout the year, but I'll say it anyway; this is an interesting time of year.

We've had some pretty pretty pretty sunsets, ones where if you're in one place the sky is golden or pink or just amazing, but if you drive two minutes you can't see it anymore and the sky just looks like sky.

I find myself driving along wondering how many people didn't look up; didn't see the glowing ball of golden sunset that I just saw and sometimes I want to stop my car and stand on the roof just so everyone else can see how pretty it is if they'd just stop and look.

And then, sometimes, I find myself thinking about how life is kind of like the sunsets. If you're in the right place and you look? You can see the amazing, beautiful sunset. But, if you're somewhere else, or you don't look? You'll probably miss it.

And you see more when you're on the top of a hilly street (of which Victoria has a surprising amount if you've never driven around here) than at the bottom.

All this is sort of this grand metaphor for life in it's own strange way...

Because it's all about perspective.

Take that how you will.

Kwa

Have you ever wondered why ducks all over the world sound pretty much the same?



No?




Just me then?

Ha!

I posted every day in November!

I Nablopomo-ed without even planning on doing it!

Without even signing up!

Without.... uh.... without having any idea why I chose to want to post every day for the month of November, especially since I didn't publicly declare I would like way back in oh six.

I may have officially lost my mind, because I had a crap load of work due in November and I decided to post every day. For some reason.

I'm weird.





Speaking of weird...who said it could be December? Wha?